Quick Updates

B

ecause my back is killing me. Possibly, I took walking without the walker a little too far. I don't know.

Evan is back in school as of today. I think we're both happy about that.
My landlord came over to apologize about not giving me the kitchen makeover that he promised. But that's be cause the boy (He's 20 or something) just "up and moved" to live with his mother in the northern US. So he has to find a new maintenance man.

I don't even remember what else has happened the past few days.

But if you haven't gotten drops from me, that is why.

I dropped on my Favorite Entrecard Blogs today. I also tried to update the list with people who have at least posted THIS MONTH, but I left a couple up there that haven't updated in a while. You never know what keeps people from blogging...

Now I'm going to lay on the heating pad.

Um...no?

Your Slogan Should Be

Angelika, the Other White Meat.

The Slogan Generator

I found this on someone else's blog. I think it was Angel...be warned. She has autoplay music. But the player is right at the top so you can stop the music before it even starts, LOL.

Anyway, this test is racist. Do they assume that only white people take these tests?

Pfeh!

Another crazy dream - 4/28/08

Image via Wikipedia

I

t started with me pulling into a parking space at some university. It was a handicapped space, but it was on a steep incline & it was very far from the entrance.

I went there to see some speech or whatever.

After the speech, as I was walking back to my car, I saw My Favorite Uncle, His Wife & their daughter. We decided to go to the mall to get something to eat before we drove home (it was a drive of several hours.)

While we were waiting to get into the mall, I saw a couple that I'd met when I first came to that university. We recognized each other. I also saw a lady with a stroller full of puppies. They were cute. Not the kind of dog I would want, but all puppies are cute. So I was playing with the puppies.

Then there was this old, ugly dog that kept trying to get me to pet it and it was so ugly that it was grossing me out.

We finally got in. We decided to use the bathroom before we ate. We started standing in a line that was at least 20 deep. When I got to the front, I found that it was a hair salon...

So I found another line that was extremely long. The attendant told us that while we were waiting, we could clean the sinks.

I'm standing there cleaning this disgusting sink with what looked like years of crusted on soap scum & whatnot with a high powered jet of water. Suddenly, I started thinking "Why the hell am I cleaning this sink? This is not my job!"

So I decided to leave & I'd use the bathroom at a fast food restaurant on my way home.

On my way out of the mall, someone offered me a cookie. It was the BEST cookie I'd ever had. I wanted more, but I wanted to get to my car more than I wanted another cookie.

On my way out, some man at a stand said:
Man - You look like you're having a bad day.
Me - I'd be fine if I could find a bathroom that didn't have a line a mile long.
Man - Here, have some cookies.

He gave me a tray of the delicious cookies. Like a cookie sheet tray. It was free. Then he offered me a tray of cake (petit fours) half were chocolate & half were vanilla.

So I walked away very happy.

Got back to my car.

Woke up.

Now, what sense does that make?

Reverend Jeremiah Wright

D

id anyone else see this on CNN today? I had just finished watching Big Brother, and I happened to be on CNN (no idea why) and I caught about 20 minutes of his speech.

All I can say is that I'd go to his church! He's funny, engaging and well spoken. I believe I said "Amen" a few times, LOL. Evan liked it too.

I found the whole speech online here.









Watch and discuss!

Song of the Week - Tennessee

T

his week's song is for one of my favorite states in America. Tennessee by Arrested Development.

Here are the lyrics from LyricsDepot.com

Lord I've really been real stressed
Down and out, losin ground
Although I am black and proud
Problems got me pessimistic
Brothers and sisters keep messin up
Why does it have to be so damn tuff?
I don't know where I can go
To let these ghosts out of my skull
My grandmas past, my brothers gone
I never at once felt so alone
I know you're supposed to be my steering wheel
Not just my spare tire (home)
But lord I ask you (home)
To be my guiding force and truth (home)
For some strange reason it had to be (home)
He guided me to Tennessee (home)

(Chorus) Take me to another place
Take me to another land
Make me forget all that hurts me
Let me understand your plan


Lord it's obvious we got a relationship
Talkin to each other every night and day
Although you're superior over me
We talk to each other in a friendship way
Then outta nowhere you tell me to break
Outta the country and into more country
Past Dyesburg into Ripley
Where the ghost of childhood haunts me
Walk the roads my forefathers walked
Climbed the trees my forefathers hung from
Ask those trees for all their wisdom
They tell me my ears are so young (home)
Go back to from whence you came (home)
My family tree my family name (home)
For some strange reason it had to be (home)
He guided me to Tennessee (home)

Chorus

Now I see the importance of history
Why people be in the mess that they be
Many journeys to freedom made in vain
By brothers on the corner playin ghetto games
I ask you lord why you enlightened me
Without the enlightment of all my folks
He said cuz I set myself on a quest for truth
And he was there to quench my thirst
But I am still thirsty...
The lord allowed me to drink some more
He said what I am searchin for are
The answers to all which are in front of me
The ultimate truth started to get blurry
For some strange reason it had to be
It was all a dream about Tennessee

Chorus

My Celebrity Dog would be...

Evan's would be:

Because I'm American, Dur.

You are 16% Aussie!

 

You really stuffed that one up mate! You obviously have much more to learn about the Aussie way of life. Perhaps visit the country or join a chat room and make some new aussie friends.

How Aussie are you?
Make Your Own Quiz

What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) You have odd obsessions that you cannot seem to control. You may even perform rituals to make you feel better. Counting and continuously obsessing over things happens frequently.
Manic Depressive
Paranoia
GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
What mental disorder do you have?

Ok. I'm not OCD. But I do prefer even numbers when I'm eating candy like m&ms or skittles.

Which Positive Quality Are You? Your Result: Friendship You are Friendship. Friends are those who can be counted upon in times of need. Friends are those who share in your joys and your sorrows. Friendship unites us with others beyond family and brings happiness and comfort to our lives. "Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies."
Courage
Faith
Love
Peace
Charity
Which Positive Quality Are You?

Whatever.

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract geeks! Your stunning intellect and love of sci-fi and video games allures the geeks like nothing else. Maybe it is the sparkle in your eye that makes them want to text you, who knows. Geeks make good partners, but tend to be arguementative. If you are a TRUE geek magnet, you will know if that was spelled correctly, and actually care. If it is a bad-boy/bad-girl you are seeking, you are barking up the wrong tree, unless they are just 'bad' behind a PS2 console.
You attract models!
You attract rednecks!
You attract Yuppies!
You attract artsy people!
You attract unstable people!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

That would be so fine if it were true. I attract Rednecks. Exclusively.

I already live in the Country

And I LOVE IT!

You Should Live in the Country

You are laid back, calm, and good at entertaining yourself. You don't need an expensive big city to keep you busy. You'll take the peaceful life over the stressful life any day of the week.

Where Should You Live?

Testing out my new Firefox Add-on

Image via WikipediaYesterday, Hugh Laurie was on The Tonight Show. He talked about what he did during the writer's strike (nothing), his new movie "Street Kings" and some other crap.

It wasn't as good as some of the interviews I've seen him give to Jay, but I look forward to his appearance next week on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. I love them both. Hugh always seems more relaxed when he's talking to Craig.

Speaking of Craig, he's hosting the White House Correspondent's Dinner tonight. It's supposed to be on C-Span. It's not on the program guide, but I'm taping C-Span from 8-11pm in hopes of catching it.

Ok.

The new add-on is Zemanta. While you're typing, it finds relevant links & photos for you to include in your post. Then you can click "Apply All" (or whatever) and you don't have to do any of the formatting yourself.



It's all right. I mean, I enjoy not having to look up all the sites and then manually link to them (including target=_blank), but a) I can think of other Hugh Laurie pics I'd rather have & b) I wouldn't send everybody to imdb.com for every fricking link (except the one that's pointing to Wikipedia...)

I can't see using this very often... I suppose we shall see.

High Five Friday - 4/25/08

H

ere they are. I'm expecting MD to come over any second to bring Evan some chicken soup (NO, I am not joking. She came over earlier to ask me if I wanted to go to the Chinese restaurant & Evan answered the door and told her he'd been home since Wednesday. I was asleep, so when I woke up I called her and she said she'd bring some over after her soap opera...)

Bubbles for her Funny Warning Labels post and her Dumb Questions post..

Shannon for her post about the Greatest Name on Earth.

Chris for this post.

JDonuts for this post.

Karlonia for English Lesson #6. :-)

Slacker Heaven for this post.

Ada for giving me An Award! :-)

Must...have...internet

O

h my gawd, y'all. My internet was not working yesterday!!!! I'd rather not have cable than not have internet! I was going to go to the freaking lieberry today if it wasn't back on! (And yes, I will be calling them for a credit for the 36 hours it was not working!!)

Evan is still home.

We went to the Dr. yesterday. Before we left, he said:
"Dear Baby Jesus, please let the doctor say that I don't have to go to school tomorrow."

So he got a shot, some steroids, 2 inhalers (one for school) & I told the doctor to tell him that he has to take a shower after he comes in from playing outside, which he did.

I also told him that the xanax actually IS helping my motor function. Which he could see because I WASN'T USING MY WALKER.

Hello.

:-)

It was a decent day. Besides having to listen to Evan cough like he's about to die & making sure he takes breathing treatments every 4 hours, we played Mario Party (that's what I'm addicted to these days.)

He'd BETTER be better by Monday. Or my head really will explode.

Comment | Copy This

I Love being tagged.

Can you smell the sarcasm?

Lisa C tagged me.

The Rules:

*Link the person who tagged you.
*Mention the rules in your blog.
*The fun part ~ Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks about yourself.
*Tag 6 other bloggers and link them.
*Leave a comment letting them know you tagged them and that's it!

1. I don't roll over when I sleep.
2. The nails on my left hand are 5mm long (I'm guessing), all the ones on the right hand keep breaking off even though I'm LEFT handed.
3. I don't like my feet. But I have a foot fetish.
4. I love cleaning my ears. It's almost as good as sex.
5. I wonder about stupid things. Like why they call cocaine "blow" when they sniff it?
6. I hate being tagged.

I'm not tagging anyone. If you want to do it, do it.

I usually do the tags from people who tag me because they actually comment on my blog because I appreciate their comments.

But I got over tagging people when I started getting tagged all the damned time & didn't feel right about tagging the same 5 people over and over. Also, it seems like all my blog friends go to the same blogs I do so it would be redundant all over again. (That was a joke. Redundant. All over again. Get it?)

I'm going to watch Top Chef.

Night!

GUESS WHAT I JUST DID!

N

ope.

Uh uh.

You'll never guess.

Earlier I said I was going to move the car so they could mow the grass.

But I went out there & she said that she was about to quit before she died of heat stroke & that she'd probably cut my grass this evening when it got cooler.

So I didn't actually move the car when I said I was going to.

Sue me.

(I DID eat the blueberry Nutrigrain bar, in case you were wondering.)

Entyway, now that I'm ready to get in bed I decided I'd better move the car or I'll fall asleep & they'd either wake me up or just not cut the grass around where I park (like they did last time).

So I decided to move it.

And after I parked it, I looked at my walker in the backseat & thought about how much trouble it is to get it in and out of the car and how much effing space it takes up if I don't fold it up.

It's a nuisance.

When I go to Wal-mart or whatever, I just tell Evan to get me a cart instead of pulling my walker out of the car.

Whatever.

I WALKED DOWN THE HILL WITHOUT MY WALKER AND I DIDN'T FALL!

It's been YEARS, literally, since I've walked without a cane or a walker with any kind of confidence. Especially going downhill. Even with the walker, I sometimes trip & would fall flat on my face if not for the walker.

My Doc told me, when he gave me the xanax, that it might improve my muscle function. I didn't expect it to.

But OH MY FLIPPING GOD!!!!!!!!!

I just walked down a hill.

With nothing to "catch myself" if I tripped.

And I didn't trip.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

Now I'm really going to take a nap.

Right after Evan turns off the loud ass nebulizer (2nd breathing treatment since he got home.)

I am loved...

B

y Drop yours and win!, at least. He gave me 100 Entrecard credits with the message "Because I love you all!" :-)

Odd. That's it. Just Odd.

S

o last night I got a message on Entrecard from a blogger who shall remain nameless.

The picture on the Entrecard is of a woman, so I assumed it was a she. Basically she asked me if I was crazy because my Entrecard looks like my head is about to explode, but the picture when I comment is of me smiling.

I told her that to my knowledge, I am not crazy, but I do like the avatar better than seeing my face all over the place.

We exchanged a few messages.

"She" started talking about a dog. And a man. Confused the hell out of me. I went to bed.

This morning I got another message again asking me to tell a little more about myself & explain if I'm schizo or what. (I wish I hadn't deleted all the messages so you could see for yourself how ODD they were.)

Oh, I just found my sent messages. You can get at least one side of the conversation. I will try to fill in what I think she or he or the dog said. (?? stands for blogger of unknown species or sex)

?? - Sorry it took me so long to reply to your comment on my blog. Are you Angelika2 as well?
#1 - Thanks for sending me a message. Yes, Angelika2 is me too. :-)
?? - Are you schizophrenic? Because your Entrecard is screaming at me but your comment photo is smiling.
#2 - LMFAO! Not that I know of, LOL.
?? - Well I am confused. I want to know the real you. I'd be interested in why you have that screaming face as your avatar. Are you the nice person who commented or the crazy person I'm looking at now?
#3 - I just like the avatar on my Entrecard.

I get tired of seeing my actual face all over the place (my blog, my profile, entrecard, mybloglog, & all the networking sites).

And I feel like sometimes I rant/go a little crazy on my blog so the psycho avatar fits, LOL.

But I do try to be nice when I'm commenting on other people's blogs. It's a bit like going to someone's house and then being rude. I don't like it when it's done to me, so I try not to do it to other people.

?? - Please answer me. The dog wants to understand.

#4 - What ARE you talking about? I gave you the answer to your question!

?? - **Actual reply**

"Yes. Of course you had answered me already.

Was only trying to get to know the lady a little better. She seemed so intriguing to him. Potential new friend. But too clumsy, that silliness. Sorry.

No stalk. Nothing to see on her blog that tells him anything about her anyway.

Leaving now. Hope she comes again sometime, though. :)

Perhaps if she comes again she will find and read his blog's list of author-contributors and feel somewhat safer with that knowledge.

Thanks again."

I think the Unnamed Blogger is a bit schizto him or her or it's self. Or is it just me?

BRB - I have to move the car so they can cut the grass...

I'm back.

Did you miss me?

Anyway, about an hour ago, MD came over to tell me that the school nurse had called her because Evan was having an asthma attack.

So I packed up his nebulizer & went to school. He & the nurse met me outside, I didn't even have to get out. I told her that I had brought his nebulizer so he could take his treatment & stay at school, but she was too tentative & said I'd have to bring him back after he'd had his treatment.

*sigh*

If I take him to the doctor, they will give him the same treatment I could have given him at school. Why should I pay for that?

And I'm not going BACK. I've had to go out every day for the past 5 fucking days and I'm sick of it. I just want to lay on my bed & watch "Silence of the Lambs" or read "Cross" & then nap.

I think the fact that I've had to spend so much money on my geedee car & I've had to go somewhere every effing day instead of staying home being my usual lazy self is negating the effects of my anti depressant. I am in a constant state of pissosity. I feel like I have PMS, but I don't. :-(

Evan just asked me if I was mad that I had to pick him up at the school.

Me - No, I'm not mad.
Evan - At least I didn't stay there and they had to call an ambulance or something.
Me - Yeah. I'm glad you're not dead, baby.

I AM irritated that he refuses to take his effing allergy pills in the morning (he says they make him sleepy) which causes him to react so violently to the pollen in the air.

If he'd just -

*woosah*

Whatever.

I'm going to eat a Blueberry Nutrigrain bar & watch "The Riches".

Bye.

Ok, sure.

Monaco tagged me with this viral linking thing.

I have randomly selected 5 of you below to be tagged and I hope that you will similarly publish this post in your blog. You have to tag 5 other bloggers and just keep adding on to the list. It’s really easy! Tag others and see your Technorati Authority increase exponentially!

And what are the benefits of Viral Linking:
1.) One of the fastest ways to see your Technorati Autho explode!;
2.) Increase your Google Page Rank fast;
3.) Attract large volume of new traffic to your site;
4.) Build your community;
5.) Make new friends!

Blognation, Pinoytek, Reyna, Bluep, Kotsengkuba, Buraot, Iris, Banco De Reyna ,Mitch, Melai, Malen, Beng, Sasha , PusangMaganda, Ely, Roerure, Dak, Monaco, Angelika, ADD YOUR NAME HERE

I do not tag people. If you want to join, copy the list & post it on your blog. :-)

Omah's Birthday was yesterday!

S

he turned 88. I have to post this or I'll forget next year. (Both the date & her age.)

Anyway, a couple of Christmases ago I made her a t-shirt with The Rock's picture on it. She still wears it even though I bought it a size too large. Even though The Rock's face is fading. But she thinks he's so cute. I made her a picture a long time ago for her & gave it to her. She still has it hanging up over her tv.



OMG. The picture was 4 years ago. Evan still looks basically the same to me so it would be hard to tell you when it was if the picture didn't have the date on it.

Anyway.

I usually only see my grandmother on holidays. I used to go there every week on my way to the library (when I was between computers & had nothing better to do & could still walk without a walker) but for the past couple of years I rarely go out to see her. If I'm going out & she's outside, I'll stop for a minute to chat, but I don't go in.

Because her house is always 90°. Always. Summer or winter. Yesterday, when it was 84° she was wearing 2 shirts.

Blah blah.

I decided that I needed to actually go in to see her. I know she's "old" and that one day she won't be here, but it's really hard to imagine. She is so energetic. She's so active. I refuse to believe that she will die before I have grandchildren (which had better not be for another 20 years).

This year, I made her a word search shirt with all the names that we call her. She loves word searches. If she's ever sitting down, you will see her with one of those books doing a word search. So it was kind of cute. I think all of her grandchildren call her something different. Since I was born in Germany, I call her Omah. Her own children call her "Mother", people at her church call her "Miss Firstname". I think it was a cute idea. :-)

Of course she gushed over it. (I had all of her names already circled in red).

Evan's card to her said:
Outside - Happy Birthday. That's it. Nothing else. Just Happy Birthday.
Inside - What are you looking in here for?

My card (with Maxine) said:
Outside - After all of these years, people want to know. Are they real or are they fake?
Inside - Just don't let them touch your teeth.

HA!

When she saw Maxine, she said "Oh Angelika, you didn't get me one of those cards." I think she thought it was going to be sexual. AS IF. (If I get her started on the subject of sex she'll never stop.)

She laughed at both of them. She enjoyed her shirt. I usually give her something I've made (like the crocheted afghan), something she can wear, or something she can eat because she tells us all that she doesn't need "any more shit to dust".

She's a mess.

While we were there, my Oldest Uncle showed up. He is practically deaf (like his mother) but won't get a hearing aid (like his mother).

So the entire time he's there, Omah is saying things like "He can't hear shit." to Evan & rolling her eyes. So Evan's trying to keep a straight face & not let on that OU's mother is talking about him.

OU - So, Evan, are you driving yet?
Evan - I'm 12.
Omah - He can't hear shit. Shout it at him!
Evan - I'M ONLY 12.
OU - I didn't ask if you had a license, I asked if you were driving. When I was 12...

*sigh*

We got to hear all about the farm chores he had to do when he was Evan's age. How the stuff that passes for chicken these days has no flavor. How we wouldn't know what to do if we got a "real" country egg (He forgets that Omah's neighbor had chickens until the day he died so we've had those extremely yellow country eggs before.) How we take just going & turning on the tap to get water for granted. Blahdee effing blah.

He always says "I've got to go." but then starts telling something else which takes 15 minutes because we have to keep repeating our replies to him. That man talks more than any other man I've ever met.

I'm getting tired just thinking about it.

I'm going back to bed. :-)






----------------
Now playing: The Isley Brothers - Who's That Lady
via FoxyTunes

????

I

have gotten several messages today on Spicypage.com (along with an e-mail notification that I'd won the lottery in England):

(maryxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com)
My name is Mary lastname . i went through your profile today and became intrested ,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send me an email to my email address so i tell you more about myself and a picture for you to know whom i am,Here is my email(maryxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com) i believe we can move from here!I am waiting for your mail to my email address above,(Remeber the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life)hoping to read from you,. (maryxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com)
Miss Mary

Message #2:

Hello Dear,
My name is Sweeny ,i read about you in www.spicypage.com and i decide to contact you hoping that you will accept my request,if you accept my request ,please reply to my email address (sweenyxxxxxx@yahoo.com)NOT ON THE SITE, so that i will send you my photos and more about me,i believe we can make good friends,let distance not be a barrier but lets love connect,because love is a bridge connect far distance to be close
from sweeny.

Um...is anybody under the impression that 1) I am a lesbian or b) I am looking for love? If you are, you are wrong. Just so you know. Not that there's anything wrong with that....

----------------
Now playing: Georgia Sattelites - Keep Your Hands To Yourself
via FoxyTunes

Heads or Tails - 4/22/08

T

his week's prompt is Direction.

So here's a photo Evan took on the interstate giving "directions" about which way to go. :-)

Song of the Week - Moonlight Serenade

I

thought it was time for something different for the song of the week. No rap/hip hop, no 80s, just something totally unexpected, LOL.

I picked Moonlight Serenade because every time I heard it (usually in Stephen King movies), I said "I like that song" but I'd forget to try & find out who it was.

The last time I heard it, I think it was on that Room ??? movie with John Cusack & Samuel L. Jackson. We had the captions on. Evan told me the name of it. So I looked it up online & finally found out. YAY!

After I finish watching all the crap I taped last night (and watching Craig Ferguson on The View), I'll tell you about yesterday. :-)

Thank you, Dumbasses

I

've decided to delete my fridge. You can thank the dumbass spammers who thought that the fridge was a place to advertise their sites or call me immature names.

That is why I got rid of the thing that allowed people to add their own links in my sidebar.

Some people just can't be trusted. And I can't be here all day every day to police the damned fridge to make sure nothing inappropriate is going on.

Congratulations, you fucking idiots.

For all you Tyler Perry Fans

H

e is one of the finalists to be one of Time Magazines 100 most influential people of 2008.

You can vote for him HERE.

There are other people too, of course, like Oprah. I voted her least influential even though, unfortunately, she'll probably end up in the top 10 or some shit.

You can vote as many times as you want!

Check out the entire list if you have the patience, I DO NOT so I only clicked until I saw Mr. Perry.

That is all.

**Update 4/21/08** - I noticed a lot of spam comments on Time's site when I was looking for TP. I guess if Time Magazine isn't immune to the occasional idiot, I should consider myself lucky that I haven't had more spam.

Friday High Fives on Saturday

S

o we took MD to pick up her car. The mechanic is a dude who, with the exception of missing half of his teeth, reminds me of the rednecks I usually date. She could not understand him. She blames it on the whistling from his missing teeth (every other front tooth is gone). I understood him perfectly.

Anyway, as I waited for her to move her car (he pulled it too close to his truck tire flower planter for me to get to it with my walker) we chatted.

Dude - I guess I made a boo boo, pulling it too close.
Me - Just a little.
Dude - Well I didn't want anybody to pull in and hit that car. I'd have to work a month to pay for it.
Me - I'm glad no one hit it, because when she gets tired of it, it's mine. After I pay for it of course.
Dude - That's a nice car!
Me - I know. That one *pointing to my hoopty* was hers before she got this one. She waited until it was about to fall apart to sell it to me.
Dude - Well, I hope she don't wait too long to get tired of this one!
Me - Just long enough for me to be able to afford it, LOL.

So my car is with the toothless mechanic and should be done early enough for us (Evan) to do the laundry tomorrow.

----------------
Now playing: Sheila E - The Glamorous Life
via FoxyTunes

Anyway, after we got in her car:

MD - Did y'all eat?
Evan - I did.
MD - Oh, well I was going to take you to McDonald's *winking furiously at me* if you hadn't eaten.
Me - He ate a long time ago. It was breakfast time.
Evan - I could eat.
MD - Ok, we'll go to McDonalds's. I'm craving a Big Mac. *winking again*
Me - I want a quarter pounder with cheese.
MD - Well, that's all I'm buying. Big Macs & a Quarter Pounder.
Me - Evan eats chicken.
MD - And a chicken sandwich. We'll drink WATER.
Me - We know how you are.
MD - What does that mean?
Me - Whenever you take us out to eat, we drink water (I ask for lots of lemon & then add Sweet & Low so I'm really drinking lemonade).

She took us to the new Chinese restaurant with the sushi & Hibachi grill.

It was good. The coconut chicken was nasty. First & last time I'll ever eat that. Did not taste of coconut AT ALL. It tasted like salty ass.

Yeah...Gross.

On to the High Fives.

----------------
Now playing: Jordan Knight - Give It To You
via FoxyTunes

The first one is for Mik because I just happened to read his post before I started posting this & I think it's sweet and funny.

Redkinoko because this post about Awesome Names amused me.

Tumawa K Kabayan because this doorbell is da bomb! :-)

Ada for this post because it's so cute! I remember when Evan used to sleep like that, LOL.

Best of Stupid for this post and this post.

Bobo for this story. :-)

Bubbles for these Hilarious Kid Quotes.

Thomas for his post about Why Old People Rock.

My Sense & Sensibility for this post.

Deb for this post. This is one area of Chattanooga that I haven't seen a million times, LOL.

Predator Press for this post. :-) (Sadly funny, but true.)

JDonuts because this made me laugh out loud, LOL.

Maria. I'm so glad I don't live where she lives. But her rules for drivers are awesome! :-)

Brittany because her post amused me.

And finally, Jillian, for this post. I think I finally found someone who is more twisted than I!!

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Now playing: George Michael - Hard Day Remix
via FoxyTunes

All week I've been sleepy

I

just realized that I forgot to put up my High Fives yesterday. Maybe because I went to sleep right after Dr. Who and before that I was taking MD to the dude who fixed her car.

I'm about to take my car to him to get a new (to me) radiator for $90. So I will once again be car-less. He said he'll have it finished tomorrow. I'll believe it when I get it.

So all together, I've spent $230 on my hoopty this month. That is not including $30 to fill up the effing gas tank. :-(

I'll have my Saturday High Fives up later.

I watched the Obama-Clinton Debate

O

n DVR, obviously. I couldn't sit for 2 hours straight watching commercials.

Clinton demonstrated that she does have more experience campaigning. She was very well rehearsed prepared.

Obama seemed much less comfortable & fluent answering the questions than he does when he gives a speech. It was interesting. And I finally 'got' the impression that they do of him on Saturday Night Live with the stilted speaking. He did not come across well in that respect, IMO.

But he did come across as more truthful than Clinton.

She kept referring to "The '90s". What she really meant was "When my husband was president." Interesting how she tries to distance herself from Bill at the same time as use the "Clinton Legacy" to her advantage.

Look, I think she's a liar.

I'm not even talking about how she was "under sniper fire" when she went to Bosnia.

I'm talking about that Tom Cruise smile of hers. Like when Stephanopoulos (or Gibson?) asked her if she'd be willing to use Dubya's advice during her administration. She did the 'Cruise Smile' and said she'd have to think about it.

C'mon Hilary, I think even George HW Bush would admit that his son is an idjit & he wouldn't ask him for any advice on running an effing country.

Whatever.

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Now playing: George Michael - As
via FoxyTunes

I think both candidates tried to inform us of the other's short comings sling a little mud. But neither lost their cool.

I have to admire Obama for not rolling his eyes and saying "Look, I've answered this effing question before. Can we move on?"

The hosts (what are they called? Referees?) of the debate, Charles Gibson & George Stephanopoulos did NOT go easy on Obama. (I didn't watch any other debates, I only know what I saw on SNL about them going easy on him.) They didn't go easy on Clinton either, for that matter. They were both kind of adversarial.

I'm just so sick of this. No more debates. No more polls. Let everybody have their primaries next Tuesday so we know who the Democratic nominee is, please.

Here's an interesting link to one reporter's opinion of the debate.

That is all.

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Now playing: Prince - Batdance
via FoxyTunes

Thank you!

I

have big fat Thank You for Blue Stem Winery for letting me know that I had misspelled the word Insomniac on my header.



I don't even know how long it's been up there like that.

But the rest of y'all suck for not noticing.

;-p

HA! Me. The Spelling & Grammar Nazi. Having a glaring mistake like that & no one calls me on it? I'm slipping...

My Special Leg Part Deux

S

o today my special leg is doing the "nervous" thing. I remembered to record it.

You're welcome.




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Now playing: Cinderella - Shake Me
via FoxyTunes

I've been tagged

W

ith yet another random meme by Becky from Beeker's Words

*sigh*

Fine. I'll list 8 random facts because she gave me some link love when she tagged me, LOL.

1. I'm really sleepy right now, even though I took a nap from about 6-9 today.
2. I taped the Obama/Clinton debate & I will probably fall asleep watching it.
3. I seriously have a crush on Craig Ferguson. He's just so insane, he cracks me up. I used to only watch him when Hugh was on, but with the writer's strike and no new House episodes, my crush on Craig has intensified.
4. When I was in my 20's, I had a crush on Richard Branson. Yes, the Virgin airlines or whatever CEO. I like big teeth on men. I don't normally find myself attracted to blondes, but something about him turned me on. He looks like a lion. RAHR!
5. I have an adam's apple fetish. I like big adam's apples. I don't know why...I just do.
6. I can eat the same meal at every meal for weeks at a time & not get sick of it. Sometimes it's sardines every day, sometimes it's a rare steak, sometimes it's a particular cereal (right now it's Chocolate Honey Bunches of Oats). As I've gotten older, I've realized that eating steak all day for a month isn't necessarily the best idea, so I try to round out my meals. But I'll usually have at least some of whatever I'm addicted to at the moment every day until I get on another food fixation.
7. I'm thinking about taking all of Evan's old jeans/shorts & making myself a patchwork quilt. I just don't enjoy the thought of cutting out all of those squares.
8. I actually read 75% of the blogs on which I drop. I just don't comment on all of them. I am online entirely too much.

That is all.

DON'T TAG ME! I like to steal my memes, not have them thrust upon me, LOL.

That is all. I'm going to fall asleep to the debate now. :-)

Mommy Dearest came over yesterday

S

he needed me to add some minutes to her phone.

I was asleep. (I feel like I slept all day yesterday. Until 3 am when I woke up every hour...)

All I know is that I was asleep, ear plugs in, pillow over my head (to block the light) and the next thing I know Evan's pulling out my ear plug and saying:

Evan - Nana's here. She needs you to add some minutes to her phone.
Me - Does it need to be done today?
Evan - She needs it before the 17th.
Me - I'll go over there tomorrow and do it.

Then, of course, I couldn't get back to sleep. No idea why I was so tired yesterday.

But after waking up every hour last night, I was so ready for Evan to get the hell out this morning & stop waking me up to ask if I wanted him to wear a coat or delete Rob & Big or whatever else he said. @ 7:01 I was like "GET OUT! Take your saxophone!"

So I gave up trying to sleep at about 9 this morning. Still kept waking up every effing hour.

So I called MD.

MD - Hello?
Me - Helloooooeeeerrrrrr, are you home?
MD - No, I'm at Wal-mart.
Me - Well, I was going to add minutes to your phone, but if you're not there then I guess I can't.
MD - How could I answer my home phone if I wasn't at home?
Me - I was joking.
MD - I was too.
Me - Well I'll be there in 5 minutes.

So I went to her house & added the minutes.

If you have a Net10 phone, you're familiar with the computer voice (CV). (It's a rather nice male voice)

CV - Before we get started, I need to know your birth date.
Me - Why?
CV - *pause* Ok, now we're ready to add minutes to your phone.

Why do they need anyone's birth date? Let's say I bought the phone. And I bought the card to add more minutes. Why do they need my birth date? I know it's probably some marketing research, but I just don't feel the need to tell any and all of my (or MD's) information no questions asked. Screw you. Just add the geedee minutes so I can hang up already.

So after that, I was about to leave.

MD - You're leaving me already?
Me - You said you have a sinus headache. I only came because I said I would.
MD - Well sit down, because I have some stuff for Evan.

He'd left his shampoo & some underwear over there last time he spent the night (in 2007), she bought him a new shirt that says "Most of the people who drive me crazy are my family."

MD - I was going to buy one for myself too & the next time we go out together we could both wear them.

Yes. It's kind of odd, but most of the time when we all go out together, one of us is wearing the same color that she is. I don't know why. Sometimes Evan & I happen to be wearing red or green and then when MD shows up, she is too.

She also bought a U of A hat just like his so when they go out together, they have matching hats.

When I was a kid, she used to sew & she would make matching outfits for me & my sister (She was still my sister then) even though my sister is 9 years older than I am.

She's all in to matchy matchy.

Whatever.

So we talked about Deion & Pilar, Big Brother, some other crap, and I was finally able to leave at about 1 pm.

Then I came home, dropped some cards, found a blog that had links to free screensavers & now my screensaver is FIRE (I'm a pyromaniac) instead of the star field that it was before.



It even has the crackling fireplace noises! But I had to turn off the lame Enya music that they played along with it. You have the option to play your own music if you want to, but I don't want anything playing, I just need the screensaver. I like the way it just sets whatever is on your desktop on fire.

Now I have to eat something. I'm debating whether I want an omelette or shrimp noodles. Maybe I'll make a shrimp omelette.

Not really.

Just the thought of that makes me want to hurl.

Bye!



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Now playing: Ohio Players - Fire
via FoxyTunes

I stole this from someone

who stole it from Feels Like Corn.

New Voice Comment!

I

got a new Voice Comment from Elizabeth today. I was dropping cards & happened across her blog.

I saw the Snapvine widget & was listening to her introduction when Mariah Carey started playing.

You know how I feel about autoplay music. I left her a comment. I guess I was nice, because she didn't seem bitchy when she replied, LOL. YAY!

One more voice comment & one less autoplay music blog! Today was a good day. :-)

Deion & Pilar

T

onight was the premier episode of Deion & Pilar on the Oxygen Network.

Deion being the former pro football corner back (?) and baseball player, Deion "Prime Time" Sanders. Pilar being his wife, a former model and now a stay at home mom of 5 (3 with Deion & 2 from his former relationship.)

So the show starts with Pilar asking Deion to help her make up the bed. He refuses. He says he has to get ready to "work" (Picking winning teams for the weekend football games.) She makes a bet with him that she can do what he does & if she wins, he has to help her make the bed for a whole week.

Also in the episode was his older daughter Deiondra's first date.

Pilar won the bet. She picked 70% winners & Deion picked about 60% winners. He said he wasn't making the bed. One of the funniest moments on the show was when they were at the Rickey Smiley Radio Show:

Radio Person - Don't tell me you're reneging on the bet
Deion - I'm not reneging, I never neged.

HA! (BTW, Deion ended up making 70% of the bed. He left the last 30 for Pilar to make because he said 70% is all he sleeps on since he never rolls over...)

Another funny part was when Deiondra's date showed up. Deion met the poor boy at the door with a bat in his hand. Told the boy to have her back by 9 pm. Then before they left, he prayed. "...and Lord, I know this boy knows right from wrong" *as he sways the bat back and forth in the air*

It's a cute show. Deion is funny. I don't know much about the kids yet. They aren't "Run's House" or "Snoop Dogg's Fatherhood" (although I think Deion does the theme song rap).

I went to the website and it showed 9 minutes of the first episode. Not in the order that it aired, but you can get a decent representation of the show from it.

The only thing I don't get is why Deion needs to ride a Hoverround in his house. Is it really that big? Is he really that out of shape? (Doesn't look like it.)

Whatever.

I'm going to watch the season premier of "Work Out" now.

Sure, whatever

Your Birthdate: October 10

Independent and dominant, you tend to be the alpha dog in most situations. You're very confident, and hardly anything ever shakes you. Mundane tasks tend to drain you - you prefer to be making great plans. You are quite original. When people don't "get" you, it bothers you a lot. Your strength: Your ability to gain respect Your weakness: Caring too much what others think Your power color: Orange-red Your power symbol: Letter X Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Entrecard encourages child abuse!

N

ot literally. Obviously. I don't condone or encourage child abuse in any form or fashion (unless the child in question tries to steal your chocolate when you're PMSing. Then feel free to smack said child upside the back of the head with an open hand...)

But...um...a few times I've made The Boy drop cards for me.

Evan - Can I go to Neopets?
Me - If you drop on all those sites I have open first.
Evan - How about no?
Me - Then NO!
Evan - FINE!

Or

Me - Go to bed.
Evan - I'm not even sleepy!
Me - I'll let you stay up if you drop cards on all the sites I have open now.
Evan - I don't want to.
Me - Goodnight.
Evan - *sigh* FINE!

That's not bad though, I read a blog today where she(?) had to pay her niece to drop for her.

HA!

No pay.

I'm not breaking any laws if the child I make work for me is my own, right?

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Now playing: Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder

via FoxyTunes

Guru gave me a recommendation

U

m, thanks? LMAO!

"Oddly compulsive reading. I find myself coming back here more than I'd like too."

I guess my blog is taking time away from his pole sitting & enlightenment.

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Now playing: Eve - Tambourine
via FoxyTunes

2048?

I

don't think my blog is worth 2048 credits per day. I was happy when I was getting 400 per day.

Don't get me wrong, thank you to all the people who advertise on my site, and I know you didn't pay 2048, I just don't understand what happened. I guess several people who've advertised previously all tried to get an ad at the same time so the price jumped up dramatically. (I have my adverts set so that people I've approved before will be approved automatically.)



Those are the people lined up to be displayed on my widget. Now everybody has to wait 3 or 4 days to buy an ad. But then they might not because it's so expensive, so it will go down like a crackhead for an extra $5 or something & then it will jump back up again....

I still don't like this new system....


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Now playing: The CarS - You Might Think I'm Crazy
via FoxyTunes

Things that make you go hmmm...

I had forgotten all about the Song of the Week until I realized 2 new ways to make Mommy Dearest leave faster without being a bitch:

1. Tell her I'm on my period.
2. Lay down, put my ear plugs in & pretend I'm going to sleep.

These things work because she always assumes that when I'm on my period I'm going to be extra "mean" to her and she knows how much trouble I had last year trying to sleep so she doesn't want to wake me up.

HA!

Too bad I can only use excuse #1 once a month, LOL.

What I watched on TV this weekend

It may be hard to believe, but I'd never watched "The Godfather" series before. I LOVE gangster movies. Casino, Donnie Brasco, Goodfellas & some other ones I'm sure I'm forgetting. I don't know why I never watched The Godfather before. Maybe just because it was so old?

Speaking of old, I saw on the info that the movie was made in 1972. I actually had to think about how old it was...

I too was made in 1972. You'd think I'd know instantly that it's 36 years old. But no. I didn't. I'm brilliant like that.

They showed parts I & II. Is there a III? Because I remember Pacino saying something like "Every time I try to get out, they just keep pulling me back in!" or is that from Scarface? Idunoh..

I liked them. All 8 hours (with commercials). Evan was GONE.

Since his BFF/C (Best friend/cousin) moved back in, he's been over there until dark.

He came back @ around 3 yesterday & asked if he could go with them to get something to eat & I said "Sure."

When it started getting dark I thought "That sure is a long meal. Maybe I should open the front door & see if they're back yet."

But I didn't.

At about 7:30, Evan opens the door & says "Are you decent?" My favorite cousin (MFC) came in after he hold her I was decent.

MFC - Do you even care about where your son was? You don't know if I was mistreating him or anything!
Me - I thought about looking outside, but I didn't feel like getting up. I figured you'd send him home when you got tired of him.
MFC - Well, he said he had to go home when the streetlights came on, but I decided to walk him over here.
Me - All the way across the parking lot? Good, I don't know if he could have made it by himself...

Later I heard:

MFC - Now that I'm back, I have a babysitter. (She has 2 kids. 11 & 5)
Me - No you don't!
MFC - What I meant was that YOU have a babysitter so that you can get a break sometimes.
Me - Oh! Cause my babysitting days are over.
Evan - She would kill us.
Me - No I wouldn't! I'd just duct tape all of you and shove you into a closet.
MFC - LOL! I was telling some of my classmates about you. They say I'm "Bold" (I can't remember the exact word she used.) I tell them that they need to meet my cousin. Like that time we went to Wal-mart & the lady forgot to give you your change and she asked if you would just wait until she rang up the next customer & then she'd give you your change & you said "No."
Me - Well it wasn't my fault that she'd forgotten to give me my change! Why the hell should I have to wait for her to ring someone else up??
MFC - I know! I'm just saying the way you just said "No" and stood there looking at her. She had to flick her light so that manager would come over. People were lining up waiting.
Me - I don't care!
MFC - That's what I'm saying. You just say what you want and don't care what people think.
Me - Because it would have bothered me later. I'd have gotten home and started thinking about waiting for that woman to ring up someone else so that I could get my damned change. It would have bothered me for a looooooooong time. I just have to speak up right away if I want to sleep at night. I can't do that "Just be nice" shit anymore like your aunt (My mother. She came of age in the 60s so I understand if she feels "shy" about speaking up for herself to white people. I, however, did not. I will tell you in a second if I feel like you're ignoring/mistreating/taking advantage of me.)

Tangent - Everyone who is related to my mother & talks about her when she's not there says "YOUR sister" or "Your Daughter" or whatever, LOL. No one wants to claim her. It's only strangers who only see her "Public Face" that don't realize how mean/vindictive/narcissistic she is. Everyone who isn't related to her loves her to death, LOL.

Anyway, I watched yesterday's special Eli Stone [only one more episode left. :-(] Have I mentioned before that every episode is named after a George Michael song? I just noticed that.

CBS is pissing me the eff off. For the last few weeks, everything on Sunday night has been coming on at least 30 minutes late. I didn't realize that I hadn't gotten the whole episode of Dexter until there were only 15 minutes left. So I saw the first 15 minutes, and the last 15 minutes. They piss me OFF. Why do they have to show 60 minutes when some game ran over? Who watches that??? Why can't they just start where they should be in the programming?

I caught about 15 minutes of Big Brother. It's a good thing that I read the blogs about BB or I wouldn't know who won HOH or who got nominated. And I would only have gotten the first 15 minutes of Dexter.

Bastards.

That is all.

I'm effing freezing over here even though I'm wearing fleece sleep pants, a shirt & a sweatshirt.

Ta!

I can spell!

Your Spelling is Perfect

You got 10/10 correct. Your spelling is excellent. You also have a great memory and eye for detail.

How's Your Spelling?

Really weird dream

I

t was actually almost 24 hours since I had the dream, but I think I remember enough of it to tell you.

I dreamed that we (Evan & I) went to MD's house for something. For some unusual reason, her garage was open. There was all kinds of stuff in there. Like she couldn't park her car because of all the junk in there.

I had to use the bathroom (she has one in the laundry room, which is where the door coming from the garage opens in to.)

Have I mentioned that in my dreams I'm always walking? Like pre-"Special Leg" walking.

Anyway, I go into the bathroom, pull down my pants & undies, sit down...

That's when I realize that there is no side or back wall.

MD has decided that she needed to expand her house.

In the back yard I see ALL of my relatives. I mean people that I haven't seen since I was a child.

Since EVERYONE could see me sitting on the toilet (if they just looked in my direction) I got a magazine rack (one that MD hasn't had for years) to block the "front view" and something else to block the side view.

Then my SIL comes over & starts looking through the magazines.

Me - HELLO!?!??
Sil - Oh, hey.
Me - Could you not remove any magazines from the rack while I'm trying to use the bathroom?
Sil - Oh, girl. Ain't nobody looking at you. You remember SomeDude?

Yes.

She was introducing, or re-introducing me to my cousin.

People kept stopping by to say hello. No one seemed phased by the fact that I was sitting on a toilet with my pants around my knees.

I've never had a shy bladder IRL. But when I thought about urinating with an actual audience & then having to wipe...I just couldn't do it.

I had to go really bad. Like it felt like my bladder was going to burst bad.

Then I woke up.

And I had to tinkle really bad.

I'm glad I didn't dream that I had actually used the bathroom or I might have wet my bed, LOL.

How crazy is that?



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Now playing: Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams
via FoxyTunes

Evan is UPSTAIRS.

See how loud he is?

Comment | Copy This

He bought some "Sizzle magnets" the other day. I want to play with them. He hid them from me because he is evil. So I must torture him until he tells me where they are, LOL.

I'm so mature...

The Sarah Jane Adventures

If you're a big Dr. Who fan like me, you might remember an episode when The Doctor worked at a school & met up with his old travel mate Sarah Jane Smith.

Now, the producers have created a spin off called "The Sarah Jane Adventures".

I was going to watch the show anyway, just to see what it was about, but when I was watching the Dr. Who marathon on Sci-Fi today, I saw the episode with Sarah Jane. That made me much more interested (because most of the shows on Sci-Fi are crap, IMO.)

I just finished watching the first episode.

I already love it!

It's like Dr. Who without the -

OMG. Ray J is on Chelsea Lately. WTF???

Anyway, it's like Dr. Who without the space travel.

The show starts out with a new family moving in across the street from Sarah. They try to introduce themselves, she's a bit rude, but in the middle of the night the daughter (about 13 yrs old) sees strange lights coming from Sarah's backyard.

So she goes over there and sees an alien.

Anyway, the next day some new girl (Kelsey?) introduces herself to Maria (the daughter) & they go on a tour of the Bubble Shock factory. Bubble Shock is an "Organic Energy Drink".

While at the factory, Kelsey sees an alien & Maria finds a "made" boy (As opposed to born. He doesn't have a belly button.)

Sarah Jane follows the kids when they go on the tour because she thinks something is amiss. (They've gotten the equivalent of FDA approval for an ingredient in 2 weeks instead of the usual years long process.)

As the Bubble Shock Bus is pulling into the factory parking lot & the gates are closing, she pulls out her lipstick.

Me - OMG. She's even got a Sonic Lipstick (Like The Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver.)

Anyway, the made boy, Maria & Sarah Jane save the world from the alien invasion. The "Bane", or special ingredient in the drink, is a secretion of the alien. (Guru, how do you say "Gross" in British??)

I love the show!

The first episode at least.

And one of the things I LOVE about British shows is that if this were an American show, Sarah Jane would be some 25 year old trick with double D's & blonde hair.

The British Sarah Jane is attractive, but she has wrinkles. (Maria's dad is "fit" as the youngsters across the pond apparently say. That means "hot" in American.) I honestly can't think of a WOMAN in a LEAD on an American show who has wrinkles. Even Candace Bergin (or whatever) looks younger than her years.

Whatever.

If you like Dr. Who, you will like The Sarah Jane Adventures. I'm sure they'll replay it to death like they do everything else, so you should have plenty of chances to see it. :-)

BTW, new episodes of Dr. Who begin NEXT FRIDAY, the 18th. YAY!!!

Tornado Watch!

Ok, I've lived here 16 years.

In those 16 years we've had hundreds of tornado watches & warnings.

But this is the first time Evan got out of school early.

About 20 minutes ago.

My cousin (who used to live right beside me, moved away & is now back across the parking lot) was subbing at the school & she brought Evan & her son home.

I think it's because a couple of months ago, we had a tornado hit the next town over (to the east).

Honestly, I hadn't even noticed. But then I had forgotten to mail my cable bill so I had to drive to the cable co to pay it & that's when I saw all the buildings that had been destroyed.

Then about a month ago we had another tornado to the west of us, but in the same county.

Maybe it's just too close to home for people.

But I noticed the street lights on at 2:30.

Oh well.

We can't get into "The black hole" (The closet under the stairs.)

Evan can stay in the bathtub if we hear the town sirens.

I'll be right here giving you a live report.

Because nothing is going to happen.

Nothing ever happens HERE.

Except for the time that a gas main blew up the post office...

HA!

TTYL, if the internet is still working. ;-)

Hey, Sweetie & the Evil Greeter from Hell

My landlord calls me "Sweetie".

I saw him the other day at Wal-mart. I said "Hi!" (fake cheerfulness on my part.) & he said "Hey, Sweetie."

I thought it was odd, but whatever.

So he just stopped by.

I opened the door.

LL - Hey, Sweetie. I just thought I'd drop off your rent receipt in person because I had to be out anyway.
Me - Ok. Have you noticed the people on either side of me are leaving their garbage on the back porch?
LL - No, I hadn't noticed that.
Me - Well, it causes all kinds of stray dogs & cats to come & rip open the bags and get garbage all over the place.
LL - I'll take care of it, Sweetie.

...

He might as well call me "Perky".

Y'all know that everybody has their "Public" face & their "Private/Among Friends" face.

Apparently, my public face makes people think that I'm sweet...

I'm used to being told that I intimidate people. I don't know how I feel about being thought of as "sweet".

Anyway.

Evan & I went to Wal-mart yesterday.

OMG I can't believe how early it is. I woke up at about 4:45 this morning. (I haven't been taking the sleeping pills. I still get to sleep at about 11:40 or so, but I seem to be waking up earlier every day.)

Where was I?

There were no electric carts, so Evan had to push me in a wheelchair.

After we paid for our stuff, I went to the bathroom.

When I came out, he was sitting in the wheelchair.

Me - Let me see if I can push you. (I can walk as long as I'm holding onto something like my walker or a cart, but Wal-mart is SOOOOOOOO BIG I start sweating & my "special leg" starts quivering up a storm if I walk around too long.)
He - OK!

So the Evil Bitch Greeter from Hell was standing at the door.

She looked at us like "Those wheelchairs are not toys!!!"

I wish she had said something.

It's about 200 ft from the bathroom to the front door, so not far enough for me to get tired walking. And I knew that Evan would enjoy being pushed around for a change instead of being the pusher, nodamene.

I hate that greeter.

Everyone else who works there is SO NICE. If they don't see Evan, they ask where he is. They get the electric carts ready for me before I even get into the store.

The Evil One just looks like she hates everyone. She's one of those women who would have a head full of gray hair if she didn't dye it jet black. She's 4 feet tall. She looks like a witch. And she's practically deaf. I have to YELL AT HER to ask her if there's anything wrong with the electric carts or whatever. I prefer not to talk to her at all.

But I really wish the bitch would have said something to me yesterday.

I believe I'd have gotten very "ethnic" in about .2 seconds.

She's a hater.

High Five Friday 4/11/08

Another Friday! Time for some High Fives. :-)

Motherwise for this post.

Tumawa Kabayan because I enjoyed these booties. NSFW.

Truth in Context. Gotta love a fellow Oprah Hater, LOL. Seriously, the video is ultra right wing, but I don't disagree.

Makes you laugh for posting these commercials.

Happy Family Matters for this important post.

Karlonia for her 4th English Lesson.

Cats because these white lion cubs are so adorable.

Websites to Computers for this post. I was able to change my desktop. Now all of my music folders are the same color, anything to do with my blog is the same color & all of my PSP folders are the same color. I LOVE IT.



Dot Com Mogul for this post. I now know that I am primarily Left Brained, but without necessarily trying, I can switch to my Right Brain. For me, the first time I see it, it's counter clockwise. Then I read & look back @ the photo & it's clockwise. That kind of stuff is interesting to me. :-)

Kevin because he really made me want to give him a hug with this post. He's a special guy and not in the same way that my left leg is special, LOL.

Lisa's World a) it has to do with Wal-mart & 2) it's unbelievable. See it here.

Fabulously Jinxed because I had no idea that I had to hire a special team to take care of my girly parts. (Guys might not want to watch this one, LOL.)

Slacker Heaven because this just made me laugh. :-)

Find out how to give your High-Five Fridays here!

The purpose of this meme is to give high-fives to 5 people, posts, blogs and/or websites you've admired during the week. I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 5 high-fives on Friday. Trackbacks, pings, linky widgets, comment links accepted!

Visiting fellow High-Fivers is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your High-Fives in others comments (please note if NWS).

Find more High-Five Friday folks here!

----------------
Now playing: Rick Ross Ft. Jay-Z & Young Jeezy - Hustlin (Remix)
via FoxyTunes

Oh! I forgot to tell you.

Remember that commercial I hated so much because the guy said "Chatnooga" instead of "Chattanooga"?

They changed it a few days ago. Different voice pronouncing the name of the city correctly.

YAY! :-)

AND

Have you seen the Eggo commercial for "Muffin Tops"?

They totally stole that idea from Seinfeld.

Video of my "special" leg.

In answer to Ada's question, no my leg has not forgiven me.

I don't know what to get her. She can't wear all the sexy shoes I used to buy for her & I'd look weird with one hott shoe & one sneaker, LOL.

I could get her a pedicure...

Maybe.

Anyway, here's the video. I don't know why it's so pixelated. But I think you get the gist.

My "Physically Disabled" leg HATES me!

Ok, so I fell asleep at about 11:30 last night.

I was extremely tired this morning.

I didn't actually GET OUT of bed until about noon.

I wanted to go to the bathroom. I know I went earlier in the day, because I forgot to flush & since Evan doesn't use toilet paper for #1 it was ME. (After constantly telling him to remember to flush. That is so gross, LOL.)

Anyway, my left leg, the one I call "my retarded leg" kept...um...failing? I can't think of the right word. It was weaker than usually. I'd get a dull but sudden pain in my lower back/hip area & my knee would try to fold. I almost fell about 3 times before I decided to sit a while.

I sat on the bed staring at my leg convulsing.

I think it read my blog yesterday.

Evan & I openly refer to my left leg as "the retarded leg" but until I wrote yesterday's post, THIS particular retardedness has never happened.

I think it's offended.

So now it's acting out.

The PUNK. It's showing a lot of "bitchassness", to quote Diddy.

If I had a video camera, I'd record it for you.

When I take off my shoes, it keeps flying up in the air like the doctor is checking my reflexes or something. It gradually flies up lower and lower until it's finally still. Evan thinks this is funny. Sometimes he'll just lift my leg up & drop it to watch it freak out fly up.

Sometimes when I stand, it starts shaking like I have an earthquake going on in that ONE specific part of my body.

Today it was quivering. Like it was cold.

Very odd.

So I'm going to have to think of something else to call it because clearly, it does not like being called "Retarded".

Dear Left Leg,

I am sorry if I offended you yesterday by telling everybody how much you effing suck you geedee Body Betrayer! that you are "retarded".

I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I was just trying to explain that you are like a fucking 60 lb child is hanging onto my leg screaming "Don't go, Mommy!" a bit harder to use than my right leg.

Please accept my apology and stop freaking the hell out on me continue to work in your usual fashion.

Thank you for not being complete dead weight. I love you even though you ARE retarded & I sometimes wish I could amputate you & get a fake limb. I'm glad that you work as well as you do under the circumstances.

XOXO
Angelika

Now, I think I will continue re-braiding my hair & playing Mario Party on my lame ass wonderful Gamecube that provides endless entertainment & "family time" for myself & my son. :-)

I'm tired, y'all.

I woke up this morning at 5:30 or something after a very restless night.

I've been up all day.

Washing dishes.

Vacuuming.

Dropping cards.

Playing Mario Party, LOL.

MD came over at about 11:30 & invited me & Evan to dinner. She said she tried to find the cut of beef that I like for roast beef, but she couldn't so she was going to make some meatloaf & real mashed potatoes for ME.

We took a load of red clothes to her house to wash.

We had I had meat loaf, bbq ribs, mashed potatoes & green cabbage with red pepper flakes.

Evan had Meatloaf, corn, meatloaf, potatoes & meatloaf. I think he ate a single bite of cabbage. When he was a toddler, he loved boiled cabbage so MD used to make it for him all the time. I cook it with butter & salt, she cooks it with sugar & red pepper. I think he's gotten used to my cooking so he's not really into the way she cooks the cabbage anymore.

Anyway, since the pollen turned my car yellow, we took some allergy pills before we went outside (thank God Evan reminded me or I'd have been sneezing up a storm) but with the combination of carbs & allergy pills, I've been ready for a nap for a few hours. I just didn't want to go to sleep too early & wake up in the middle of the night.

I did remember to put some of that Icy Hot gel on my knees before I left. (I LOVE that stuff. It works so well on my arthritis pain!) But since MD had her freaking doors open instead of the A/C, it was hot in there, so I laid on the floor because it was cooler.

Before I went there, my retarded knee was hurting more (My left leg is the one I have to drag. The one that bounces up & down like I'm nervous or impatient all the time.) But I had to get on my knees to get up off of the floor & now my right one is hurting.

And I forgot to put the ICY Hot on my back. She has that really squishy furniture that you just sink into. Which is NOT good for my back.

Whatever.

I forgot what I was going to say.

Oh! Once a month (or so) I tape the VH1 countdown to see if there are any new songs I want. I decided to tape the BET top 10 countdown yesterday.

1) I like the dude in Mariah Carey's video (Touch my body). But the song is a little creepy.

2) Ray J (Brandy's brother & Kim Kardashian's sex tape partner) had a song on there that was so laced with profanity that they had to bleep practically every word. Even Snoop doesn't say things that filthy. I don't even know what the song was about there was so much bleeped out. It's a waste of air time, IMO.

You know how comedians like Bill Cosby said that if you couldn't be funny without cussing, then you weren't funny? Well I think if you have to put out something so profanity laced that half of the song is bleeped or muted out, you're trying too hard to be "Gangsta" & you need to go back to making sex tapes because you're not a "real" artist.

Pisses me off.

I'm going to bed.

Bye! :-)

I'm 85% creative!

You Are 85% Creative

You are an incredibly creative person. For you, there are no bounds or limits to your creativity. Your next creation could be something very great... Or at least very cool!

How Creative Are You?

Dear Entrecard

What the fuck?

Seriously, when I read about your "new" ad pricing system, it sounded all kinds of wrong to me.

But now EVERYBODY can clearly see that it is not going to work.



These are blogs on which I've advertised before. Beeker & Read My Mind in particular have been worth the old prices.

But now? No.

I Wandered doesn't even have a widget???

I am not paying 8000+ for an ad.

You need to figure out something else ASAP.

I can't believe how much you suck right now.

What did I do yesterday???

My back is killing me. :-(

I am going to rub some icy hot on my back & watch Talladega Nights.

TTYL!

I hope you used the right e-mail address

when you commented on my blog.

Because I just sent 200 credits to my top 4 commenters for the month of April.

Yes, I know it's only 7 days old, but if you've commented that much in 7 days, you'll probably comment like that for the rest of the month.

The lucky recipients of my generosity are:

Jillian - 12 comments
Monique - 6 comments (Even though she's on vacation, she still made the list, LOL.)
Freelance Guru - 6 comments
Casto Creations - 5 comments.

That's from 4/1 - today @ 5:26 pm.

I don't expect to do this often.

But I won that caption contest.

Have you read the Entrecard blog lately?

They're going to start a new pricing system within the next 24 hours. So y'all might want to hold onto those credits until you see what happens with pricing of ads.

That is all.

You may continue with your regularly scheduled Power Dropping. :-)

----------------
Now playing: Amy Winehouse - Fuck Me Pumps


via FoxyTunes

4/07/08

Yesterday after we did the laundry, we called Mommy Dearest to let her know that the new Chinese restaurant was finally open (It's been about 6 months since they bought the new bldg & started renovating.)

The old place was MD's favorite & where she took Evan whenever he did something to "please" her.

Anyway, she said she wasn't feeling well yesterday & I told her I'd call her today to see if she wanted to go.

It's a Hibachi restaurant. Isn't that the one where they cook the food right in front of you? I've been to one of those before. Didn't really like it. But if she was going to pay, I was going to go, LOL.

Anyway, Evan kept trying to talk over me & saying "She doesn't want to go!" because he knows that MD is cheap & only treats people to lunch because it's the same dishes for dinner, but at a higher price. (Makes sense, really.) So that meant that he wouldn't be able to go. He conveniently forgot that he can't go out to eat with her anyway because of his report card...

Anyway, I called her this morning.

Me - How do you feel today?
MD - *some kind of sound that sounds like 'physically I'm ok, but I don't really want to go'*
Me - Ok! I didn't really want to go anyway.
MD - But I would like some dressing (Stuffing, depending on where you're from.)
Me - I could go for some Western Sizzlin!

So we went there.

MD - You know Evan is going to ask you if you went for Chinese food today.
Me - No he won't.
MD - I bet he will.
Me - If I put my pajamas back on & put my shoes by the door, he won't think I've been anywhere, so he won't ask.

And he didn't.

HA!

Anyway, on the way back she had to pick up her dry cleaning, get some potting soil & new pots, etc.

She came back with one of the new $5 bills.



I know they change the appearance of the bills every once in a while to make them harder to counterfeit...but pretty soon our money is going to look like Monopoly money. It is very unattractive, IMO. It LOOKS like it can't be real money.

Whatever.

That is all.


----------------
Now playing: Yael Naïm - New Soul
via FoxyTunes

OMG! I won 1500 EC credits!

From A Quest for Happiness for their Clever Captions Contest.

Wheeeeeeee!

Thanks. :-)

The Dance Electric

This week's song is "The Dance Electric" by André Cymone (with background vocals & probably some instrumentation by Prince.)

I think it's from 1985. (Does it really matter?)

Anyway, the other day Evan was being nosy looking for something that fell behind the TV & found some of my old 45s beside the record player. One of them was "The Dance Electric".

Enjoy. :-)

LMAO!

Yo!

Dear Blog Visitors,

When you comment on posts that are more than a week or so old, please include the link to the particular post in your comment.

Because I don't remember half of the crap I write, no one else will know which post you're talking about, and I don't feel like hunting for the post most of the time.

Thank you!

Shae Shae tagged me!

This one's pretty easy though, so I'll do it, Shae Shae.

Instructions:

A. Upon receiving this tag, immediately perform a screen capture of your desktop.It is best that no icons be deleted before the screen capture so as to add to the element of fun. You can do a screen capture by:

[1] Go to your desktop and press the Print Scrn key (located on the right side of the F12 key).

[2] Open a graphics program (like Picture Manager, Paint, or Photoshop) and do a Paste (CTRL + V).

[3] If you wish, you can “edit” the image, before saving it. (IMO that takes away from the integrity of the meme... I want to see the desktop as is).

B. Post the picture in your blog. You can also give a short explanation on the look of your desktop just below it if you feel like doing it. Tell us why you decided to choose this picture.

C. Tag your friends and ask them to give you a Free View of their desktop as well.



Here's the one I had about a week ago:



Evan always covers Hugh's eyes until Firefox opens. He says he doesn't like being stared at, LOL.

MD liked the second one better. She said, when she saw the new one "I guess you put this on here so you can kiss him every day."

As if...

I'll never tell, LOL.

I'm not tagging anyone. If you want to do it, do it. :-)

Remember when you had to lick stamps?

On Thursday, after I picked Evan up from school, I went by the post office to mail the Economic Stimulus Tax Refund things. I couldn't find my "Forever Stamps" (I bought several books when they were first issued. I don't use a lot of stamps so they should last me until the next decade.)

So I sent Evan into the post office to get some stamps from the machine. (Our post office closes at noon on Thursdays. Don't ask me why. But when I first moved here 20 years ago, EVERYTHING closed early on Thursdays. Need some milk? Sucks for you! You should have gotten to the store before noon!)

Anyway, he finally came back out with 2 stamps & the envelopes.

E - I can't get these stamps to stick, I tried to peel off the back...
Me - LOL! You have to lick these stamps, baby. These are "old fashioned" stamps before they had the self sticking kind.
E - Oh. I would never have tried that.
Me - LMAO! I know. You're a child of the 21st century.

(He tried the same thing with the envelopes. After he signed his Tax Return, he told me that the flap wouldn't stick, LOL.)

That's so funny when I tell Evan about TVs with no remote or how when I was a kid at first there were ONLY 3 channels. Then we got HBO & MTV, but not much else. And TV went OFF at around midnight. You couldn't watch it all night long like you can these days.

I guess he feels about like I did when my mother told me about the things she used to do for fun as a kid (braiding grass like it was hair or rolling people in tires down a big hill).

So funny how times change and we never think about it until our child is faced with something he's never seen before, LOL.



----------------
Now playing: Puff Daddy ft.The Notorious BIG, Lil Kim, & The Lox - It's all About the Benjamins (Remix)
via FoxyTunes

Yeehah! Awesome!

So this morning I dropped about 150 Entrecards (Reciprocating on my Inbox & visiting my favorite EC blogs.)

Got the usual "Thanks!" message.

I usually try to do at least that amount every day. IF I get done early enough & have the energy/motivation, I'll try to reach 300.



You can see that clearly, I don't reach 300 every day. Yesterday, I don't think I even visited all of my favorite blogs, and that was with all of my extra energy, LOL.

Anyway, after this morning's post, I watched all my recorded DVR programs, I took a nap, ate dinner, etc. Finally decided to get my 300 credits for the day.

At some point after 200, I started getting "Yeehah!" as the message. Then after 250 or so, I started getting "Awesome" instead of "Thanks!"

Tomorrow I'm going to have to pay attention to see when the message changes from Thanks to something else. Or if it's already changed for the first drops of the day.

**Update** 10:10 PM

I started dropping on my other account. Here are the messages I've gotten:

50 - Go! Go!
100 - Alright!
150 - Wicked!

I'm done now. And I have to tinkle. But I think that's it. After 200 it will go to Yeehah! & Wicked! :-)

----------------
Now playing: Janet Jackson - So Much Betta
via FoxyTunes

Here are the lyrics to Snoop Dogg's "My Medicine". Just thought you'd enjoy reading them, even if you haven't heard the song yet.

(One, two...)

[Intro: Snoop]
Yeah, I like to dedicate this record right here to my main man
Johnny Cash, a real American gangster
I got my nephew Whitey Ford on the guitar
Young Trev' on the drums
Grand Ole Opry, here we come, uhh

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jacked up the spoon on the candlestick
Dopestick pimpin on the one-trick pony
Yeah she kinda skinny but she gets my money
Get my money, buy my medicine
Buy my medicine, buy my medicine
Get my money, buy my medicine
Buy my medicine, buy my medicine

Yeah, you know I got to have that medicine
That prescription medicine baby
Y'know, purple, orange, green

Jack starts hangin 'round with some fiends
Got strung out, sold the cow for beans
Told young wifey, "I love ya honey
But you gotta hit the streets, go and get my money"
Get my money, buy my medicine
Buy my medicine, buy my medicine
Get my money, buy my medicine
Buy my medicine, buy my medicine

Yeah, the mo' dedicated the mo' medicated
Can you feel me?

[Snoop - singing]
Girl my love's gonna last, just as long as my high
(And I'm high all day, every day)
You can trust every word I'm gonna say will be a lie

[Snoop - talking]
Haha, yeah I lie sometimes
What's the use of the truth if you can't get a lie sometimes baby?
Now dig this

Jack starts a track up and down the hill
Got to walkin thinkin ace what he told to Jill
Come rain, come shine, come snow or if it's sunny
Get the fuck out, come and get my money
Get my money, buy my medicine
Buy my medicine, buy my medicine
Get my money, buy my medicine
Buy my medicine, buy my medicine

Yeah
They say you can't buy me love, but you damn sure can buy me bud

[Snoop - singing]
Girl my love's gonna last, just as long as my high
(Oh I'm so high right now, how 'bout you?)
You can trust every word I'm gonna tell you is a lie
(Liar liar, haha, pants on fire)
Girl I love you (I love you though)
Yeahhhh!

From azlyrics.com

Evan likes the song, LOL. That & "So much betta" by Janet Jackson. He does a new "car" dance for "My Medicine" & 'The Rob & Big Car Dance' (From when they were getting the car washed & some Julio Iglesias song came on the radio.) to "So Much Betta"

I found this rather irritating remix of the car wash dance scene from Rob & Big. I couldn't find the original. :-( But watch at least until Rob starts slamming back & forth in the car seat. That's what Evan does to "So Much Betta".

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

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Now playing: Snoop Dogg - My Medicine
via FoxyTunes

OMG! A test I'm too young for, LOL

I scored a Dynomite
60% on theQuiz by SheGoddess: Weight loss tips

Brits are taking over American TV!!!

This might be old news to you, but I just watched last night's Craig Ferguson.

Did you know that the guy who plays Eli Stone (Johnny Lee Miller. That's an American sounding name if ever I heard one, LOL.) is British?? I didn't. I had NO CLUE.

When I watched Bionic Woman, Michelle Ryan's accent crept through sometimes. (Like when she said "paasta" instead of "pasta".)

Hugh Laurie says some words in a very odd accent. It's not necessarily British, but it's not American, either.

Lena Headly from the Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles is British. (Remember her in the movie "300"?)

I don't even know who else is British. I would NEVER have guessed that Sarah Connor or Eli Stone were Brits. They have excellent accents.

Now I have to go watch yesterday's Eli Stone.

Ta!

Answers to yesterday's comments & High Fives

Dan said:

I love your song of the week, Aaliyah was amazing.

I agree! I think she was a great human being who died far too young.

Cool site, BTW. I only know of Dorothy Dandridge because Halle Berry played her in a movie (A movie that I haven't seen.)

Jillian said:

I just realized you go to Walmart a lot. Are they giving you some kind of lifetime discount? Because we could use one of those....

Unfortunately not. But I live in the boondocks. All we have for 30 miles (in one direction) or 70 miles (in the other direction) is Wal-marts & Dollar Stores for anything other than groceries. They said we were going to get a Target at some point, but it turned out to be Lowes. There is a Radio Shack, but Wal-Mart is cheaper...


Sheila said:

Wow! You got more than your money's worth out of that drink. I haven't tried one yet, even though I've been tempted to. I drink Japanese matcha everyday, that gives me a pretty good kick in the pants.

I did! I think it was less than $2, but I got more than 5 hours of energy to do my errands all day yesterday! Never heard of matcha...

Elle said:

You've even moved thru time a whole month -- you're in May and the rest of us non-Head Shot fortified losers are still in April! Seriously, sounds like an awesome productive day. How do ya feel today?

HA! I didn't even notice that until you said it, LOL. Honestly, I still thought it was March until MD reminded me that it was a "New Month". May 3 is Bro's birthday & since I've seen him so much in the past couple of days, I guess he was on my mind...

I feel great today! I just need to watch all the crap that's on my DVR because I've been sleeping so much (YAY!) that I haven't watched half of the billions of programs I tape.

Cardiogirl said:

I'm going to reserve judgment until you write tomorrow about what it was like coming down. But it does sound intriguing...

I really didn't feel a big "crash" like they advertise in the commercials. I did notice at about 2 pm that I started yawning, but I still had so much stuff to do that I went & did it anyway.

You have to remember that I spent ALL of 2007 getting 2-4 hours of sleep per 24 hour period, so I'm used to being tired and having to do crap anyway. So for me, the "crash" was more like pulling up too close to the curb (a little bump) than having a head on collison (crash). I don't know what it feels like for other people to come down from an energy drink. Most of them that I've tried (Like Red Bull) haven't affected me in the first place...

I finally fell asleep at 11:30 or so when I was trying to watch Craig Ferguson.

----------------
Now playing: Snoop Dogg - My Medicine
via FoxyTunes

Now I'm going to do my High Five's because I really have to watch CSI & Crime 360 before my DVR starts taping more crap & deleting some of the old programs.

Found Shit for the following three posts: Kissing Miss Piggy,Robo Frog & Baby Sleeve Tattoo.

Monique for "It's not easy being me".

BoBo because I like the title of his blog, LOL. And there are posts like this there too.

Freelance Guru because his Predictions always amuse me. :-)

Getting Gruntled because I actually learned something on his blog this week. :-)

Geek Mom Mashup because she's the one who gave the link to the site where I created the avatar for my new Entrecard.

Karla because I'm "An Immature Agitator with a Questionable Heart" too! But I'm not trying to change, so kudos to her, LOL.

Bubbles because I think this post gave me the hiccups from the surprise gasps of laughter, LOL.

Shae Shae because I think everybody needs to realize what some of the Urban Legends are in the black community.

Deb because she posted a very creative Night Night Story for the Jolie-Pitt children.

And Jillian, once again. I think I should just make her a permanent fixture on High 5 Fridays because she ALWAYS cracks me up.

Find out how to give your High-Five Fridays here!

The purpose of this meme is to give high-fives to 5 people, posts, blogs and/or websites you've admired during the week. I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 5 high-fives on Friday. Trackbacks, pings, linky widgets, comment links accepted!

Visiting fellow High-Fivers is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your High-Fives in others comments (please note if NWS).

Find more High-Five Friday folks here!

----------------
Now playing: Chris Brown Ft. T Pain - Kiss Kiss
via FoxyTunes

May (I mean April, LOL) 3, 2008

Yesterday at Wal-Mart I bought a "Head Shot Energy Drink" (Green Apple.)

I told Evan yesterday to remind me to drink it when he got up to get ready for school.

So I drank it at about 6:45.

I really didn't expect it to work.

But I laid back down & couldn't go back to sleep.

Already today I have:

1. Gone to the Dr. (I lost 9 lbs!!! I don't know why...maybe the Anti-depressant?)
2. Gone to H&R Block to get the Economic Stimulus Tax Refund. I don't file a tax return normally because I'm on disability. So I wanted to see how much it would cost to get it done for me since I haven't filed a tax return in years. It was FREE! Whoo hoo!
3. Paid my electricity bill. (I pay it at the bank.)
4. Went to da dolla sto to get more hair for my braids.
5. Stopped by Mommy Dearest's house to give her my old copy of "I am Legend" since I found the 2 disc edition.

And I'm about to go get Evan from school because they're done with the standardized tests at about 1:30 & we have to go back to wal-mart today because I need some new windshield wipers (Why is it that you only notice this stuff when it's raining?)

My back doesn't hurt. Nothing hurts right now. I'm soooooooooo hyper. Much more hyper than when I drank yesterday's coffee. I can't believe how fast it worked. I need to keep one of those on hand for when I have an early morning appt.

I just hope I get to sleep tonight....

I'll let you know when I finally crash, LOL.

----------------
Now playing: Janet Jackson - So Much Betta
via FoxyTunes

How to change a flat tire - For Monique & other Women

Make sure you always have a spare tire, a jack & a lug wrench in your trunk.

When it's time to change a flat:

1. Stand on the side of the highway in your sexiest pose with your hood up. (The hood on the actual car. This is not a euphemism for flashing motorists. This could lead to arrest.)

2. Men will stop & ask if you need help.

3. Will your most pitiful "I'm just a girl" look, tell him that you need your tire changed.

4. While he's changing your tire, you will have to put up with a lot of "A pretty woman like you shouldn't have to change a tire all by yourself." & other sexist comments. Just smile & gush & act like you might be interested in him. You can flirt by asking him if he's always this handy or some other shit that strokes a man's ego.

5. When he's done, thank him for changing it. Do not give him your number (Unless you're single & he's cute.)

6. Leave ASAP in case he's an axe murderer.

Psych!

As if.

Necessary tools:

Lug Wrench
Jack for YOUR car (some cars just need a little tiny one, some need a larger one. Every car I've ever bought has come with a jack & a spare so I don't know where you'd buy one...)
Spare tire
Towel or something to kneel on.

1. Find a safe spot to pull over (You can drive on a flat for a little bit, just don't try to go a 73.8 miles or something ridiculous like that.) Choose a flat spot because jacking up your car on a hill can be a a really expensive mistake. (Imagine your car falling off the jack & heading into oncoming traffic...) Make sure to set your parking brake!

2. Turn on your hazard lights. Get the jack, wrench, and spare tire from the trunk of the car and bring them over to the tire that is flat.

3. Use the wrench to loosen the lug nuts. Don't remove them lug nuts yet. (Sorry for the grammar, I'm remembering this in the exact fashion that my sex partner at the time told me...) Just loosen them by turning the wrench to the left (counter-clockwise). If the lug nuts are really tight, try placing the wrench on the nut and standing on the wrench arm to use your full weight on it. I like to bounce, like it's a ride or one of those work out trampolines... (Be careful! My cousin stood on the wrench & slipped off & got a really bad cut on her leg.)

4. Use the jack to lift the vehicle off the ground. Different car models may have different places to put the jack, read your manual for the specific location. Once the jack is in the correct spot, jack up the car until the tire is a few inches off the ground. (Six inches is recommended, but I usually get tired way before that, so I just jack it up enough to be able to get the geedee flat off of the wheel base.) If you forgot to set your parking brake, this is the point where your car will lurch forward or backward off the jack & scare you half to death. So BE SURE TO SET YOUR PARKING BRAKE! For extra safety, you can place big rocks behind or in front (whatever the situation calls for) of the wheels of the tires that aren't flat so your car won't roll if it happens to fall off the jack.

5. Remove the lug nuts and pull the tire off the car. Make sure to place the lug nuts in a place where you won't lose them (I usually put them in my pocket). Pull the tire straight towards yourself to remove it from the wheel base.

6. Place the spare on the car. Line up the holes in the spare with the things sticking out. (I don't know what they're called. I don't really care. Ask a man.) Push the spare all the way onto the wheel base until it can't go any farther.

7. Put on the lug nuts. Don't put them on tightly, just make sure they're on enough for the spare to stay on the car until you...

8. Lower the car, with the jack, back to the ground. Remove the jack from underneath the car.

9. Once the car is on the ground, you can tighten the lug nuts. You have to do them in a specific order. Tighten the top & the bottom & then the ones on the left and right. Or the other way around. Just make sure that you don't tighten them in a clockwise or counterclockwise order. I don't know why. That's just the way it was told to me. Stand/bounce on the wrench to get the nuts as tight as possible because you don't want your wheel falling off when you're driving to the service station to get a new tire!

10. Put your flat & all your other crap back into the car. It is not recommended to drive on a spare tire for very long (It's usually smaller than your regular tires.) because it's bad for gas mileage & some other crap that I don't really care about.

11. Get a new tire ASAP. (I always had to wait for payday, so I was driving on the spare for a couple of weeks, but I'm poor. Some of you might be able to go get a new tire the same day. Yippie skippie for you wealthy bitches. Why are you even reading this? Don't you have a "handy man" that you can call to do this for you? I hate you! ;-p)

Now, make sure that you have all the necessary tools in your trunk. If you don't have them, buy them. Practice taking off your wheel & putting it back on. You don't actually have to put the spare on (Tires are heavy, just pull it off & place it back on.) The reason to practice is that if you know that you can change a tire, you won't get nervous if you ever actually have to. Might also be a good idea to have a big flashlight in your car in case the flat happens at night.

Next lesson will be "How to change a dead battery". Whenever I feel like posting it so don't bug me about it.

**Update** 1:08 pm

The 2 comments that I have so far mention calling Triple A.

If you have Triple A, I am thrilled for you. What if there is no cell reception where you have the flat? You can't predict when a flat tire will happen. It almost always happens at the most inconvenient time for you.

I still think you NEED to know how to do some things for yourself "just in case". You don't wait until you get herpes to decide to use condoms, do you? You don't wait until your stove catches on fire to decide that you need to learn how to use your fire extinguisher, do you? (They will teach you for free at your local fire department, BTW.)

Being a helpless female is 1) NOT cute or smart and 2) Why men think we're afraid to break our effing nails or get dirty.

Grow up. Learn all you can about taking care of YOURSELF so that you only rely on other people when you WANT to!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm hyper.

So last night I decided to forgo the Xanax & the sleeping pill.

Got to sleep at about 3 am.

Next thing I know it's 10:30 am & Mommy Dearest is banging on my back door.

So I got up and answered.

MD - What are you going to do about your car?
Me - *standing up & looking unsteady/drunk* I found a website that tells how to take off a car battery so I'm going to take it off myself, you can go to Wal-mart & get me a new one & then I'll put the new one on myself. I don't have any cash. Can I borrow $70 because Wal-mart said it was $68.70 + tax and I'll pay you back tomorrow.
MD - What? Sit down! You look like you're going to fall & it's making me nervous.
Me - I'll sit down & tell you when I get back from the bathroom.

So I went to the bathroom & washed up really quick, brushed my teeth & got dressed. I came back downstairs & explained the plan again.

MD - Well I called your brother and he's going to come over on his lunch break & get your battery, get a new one & put it on for you.

Why the fuck did she ask me what I was going to do if she already knew my brother (henceforth known as Bro) was coming over?!?!?

Fine.


Bro came over at noon fifteen & took my battery off. (After I sent my niece around to all the neighbors to get a socket wrench because Bro didn't bring any tools.) Went to Wal-mart & got a new one. Came back & the posts were on the bottom of the battery instead of the top, so the positive side wouldn't reach.

Me - Which one is the negative side?
Bro - This one, that one has the red wire so it's positive. I know what I'm doing! Do you want to do this yourself? Shit.
Me - I was just asking, damn. One day I might need to do this myself so I'm trying to learn.
Bro - *sarcastic laugh* (We are 2 peas in a pod, I tell you, LOL.)

So he said he'd go back to Wal-mart & get the correct battery & come back after work.

I asked MD to take me to Wal-mart because I needed to get Evan some food for after school. But really I wanted to buy a socket set so that I could put the geedee battery on myself & not have to wait for Bro to get off of work & hook it up.

So MD & I went to Wal-mart. I got the socket set, some food (Did you know that they have chocolate skittles??? I didn't either. But I didn't see my favorite pomegranate candy so I needed something to munch on.) & Stephen King's "The Mist" on DVD.

Came back & put the effing battery on myself.

Went to school & picked up Evan.

Drove to my brother's job & went in to tell him "I put the battery on myself so you don't have to come back tonight. Now what do you have to say about that Nyucka???"

He laughed.

I was telling Evan everything that had happened today & how he didn't understand how happy I was to have my car back in driveable condition.

Evan - Ok. I need you to take a breath now.
Me - LMAO! Am I talking a lot?
Evan - Yes. I'm afraid you're going to pass out if you don't breathe.
Me - Well, that's how you are when you get back from school. Talking so fast that it's a wonder how you can take a breath.

I also had some coffee today. I don't normally have caffeine.

So I'm HYPED UP & happy.

Watch. Tomorrow when I have to go to the Dr, pay my electricity bill, buy some hair (for my braids) & other stuff I'm not going to want to go anywhere, LOL.

I'm going to rub some Ben Gay on my back & take some Tylenol.

Ciaocito, Baybeeeeeeeeee!

My back is going to be hurting for a week.

Here's why:

I am effing tired of relying on Mommy Dearest to take me anywhere. Tomorrow she's going to have her car fixed (it smells like burning rubber on the inside, she already has the part.)

So tomorrow I'm going to take off my car battery myself (It weighs 30+ lbs.), get her to go to Wal-mart on her way back from getting her car fixed, & have her bring me the new battery.

If she'll do it.

I'll have to put it in her trunk so that she can let the Wal-mart guys get it out & put the new one in & she won't have to lift a thing. That means that I'll have to pick it up at least three times. 1) Out of my car & onto my back porch 2) Off of my porch & onto my walker seat 3) Off of my walker & into her trunk. Then I'll have to pick up the new battery too... :-(

But, she might not want to put it in her car.

Because it might ruin her trunk.

She's like that.

She makes me sick.

Anyway, pray or chant or whatever you do that I don't injure myself too badly because I really have to go to the doctor & pay my electricity bill on Thursday.

Thanks!

Oh, and a big THANK YOU to Motherwise Cracks for giving me this magnificent recommendation on Entrecard:

Angelika is so awesome. She is funny, smart and has a way of writing that feels like she is talking to you - very casual. Her blogs are a natural high.

When I think of something equally appreciative, I will return the favor. :-)

AND, I was watching "VH1 Storytellers" with Snoop Dogg. He had Doug E. Fresh & his uncle Charlie Something. I think he was in The Gap Band. Charlie Wilson. I looked it up on Wikipedia.

I heard him describe the CD before. He said that this is the first time he's truly done whatever the hell he wanted on one of his albums.

Apparently, what he really wanted to do was a country song. It's called "My Medicine". (You know what kind of medicine. The kind for glaucoma.) He dedicated it to Johnny Cash.

I like it.

I like some Country anyway, but I think if you like Snoop or you like country music, you'll be humming the song once you hear it.

That is all!

----------------
Now playing: Janet Jackson - Never Letchu Go
via FoxyTunes

The commercial I hate the MOST

It's a local commercial. For Chattanooga Jobs or something.

Anyway, the announcer says "Chatnooga". Totally dropping the second syllable. I HATE that. If you're 3, I can understand you not being able to pronounce Chat-a-noo-ga. But if you're old enough to be paid to pronounce it, do it correctly.

And why the hell did the company hire a man who can't even pronounce the name of the city properly???

Another thing I hate is when the weatherman/news anchors say "ootlwah". It's Ooltewah. Ool-teh-wah. It's lazy.

I need to take a xanax. Why the fark am I so upset about this?

Because my geedee car battery is dead. I have to rely on effing Mommy Dearest to drive me to effing Wal-mart.

*sigh*

Why is it that you can think of 1,000 places to go when you have no transportation??

How much do I hate MySpace?

This is obviously broken.

And probably created by the same people who said that my blog reading level is Genius.

Fucking Idiots....

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