S
o Evan and I had gone to Mommy Dearest's house today to drop off the dog food that we got for Tiki. She asked me to take the fingernail polish off of her toes because when she bends over she gets muscle spasms.So I sat on the floor and did it. Left my foot under her recliner.
All of a sudden, she tried to close the recliner. I couldn't even yell or anything because I was so shocked.
When I pulled my foot out from under the recliner, it looked like the recliner had just scratched the fuck out of my foot.
But I looked closer AND SAW "THE WHITE MEAT" (AKA fatty tissue).
I practically started hyperventilating. It didn't really hurt, I just have never hurt myself that bad. Never had stitches before today.
Evan looked at it and said "That's disgusting, I'm not looking at it again!" and MD, of course, was like "I don't want to see it!"
So she had to go change out of her house dress and put on some clothes to drive me to the ER.
I'm so proud of Evan, though. In the past when there was an emergency, he got frazzled and just looked at me like "WTF am I supposed to do?"
Today he was like "It will be ok. Don't even think about it. Try to breathe. Look at me. It will be all right."
Very calm. Very grown up. Seriously. I saw a new side of my baby today and it looks like he did get the "calm in an emergency" gene from me after all. ☺
So he got me some paper towels and a wal-mart bag. He put the towels over my cut so I didn't have to see it and we tied up my foot in the bag so the blood wouldn't drip everywhere.
I was wondering how I was going to get out to the car because I didn't know if walking on my foot would make the cut worse or what.
My son said "I'll carry you."
!!!!!!
Me - No you won't. (I mean, he's strong, but I can't imagine him fucking carrying me and I could see in my mind him falling over in the yard and both of us go spilling on the grass with Tiki running around licking our faces, LOL.
Anyway, my mother has a quad-cane from something, I don't remember, but I hobbled out to the car with it.So in the car I was talking a mile a minute or singing just to keep my mind off of my foot because I thought it would hurt worse if I thought about it.
Normally when I sing in the car, MD makes fun of me or tells me to shut up. Today, because she felt so guilty, -
MD - I can't even tell you to shut the fuck up.
Me - LMFAO!
By the time we got to the ER, there had to be at least 3 TBLS of blood collected in the bottom of the bag. I really didn't want to look because I didn't want to freak out again.
The gist is I got the first stitches in my life today because my mother tried to cut off my foot (or break my foot) by closing the recliner on it.
I have 5 stitches. There is a picture coming up. Don't look if you're squeamish. I'd have taken one before I got the stitches but that one glance was enough for me.
LOOK AWAY NOW. TTYL.
If you're still here, I'm fiddnuh take one of the Darvocet that the very talkative doctor gave me and pass out. Sleep tonight!!!!!! Wheeeeeeeee.
Ciao!
I'm glad it wasn't much worse. I see an excuse for a foot tattoo though :o)
ReplyDeleteTony - Never gonna happen. Plus she'll feel guilty every time she looks at my foot, LOL. ;-p
ReplyDeleteYikes, crumbs and OUCH!! ..... and a big "YAY" for Evan ..... I'll remember to ask for his help next time something 'orrible happens to me. Hop along now and get some rest ......
ReplyDeleteDP - Unfortunately, I haven't been able to get any sleep. In spite of taking Darvocet every 4 hours (as prescribed) and a xanax that I'm supposed to take twice daily but normally only take one to try to get some sleep.
ReplyDelete*sigh*
Maybe after I go get my prescription filled and come home I'll be exhausted enough to get some sleep.
Oh. My. Goodness. I don't panic in an emergency either but ARGH...if I wouldn't have shoved someone's foot under that chair to show how it felt! As for the darvocet? Ha... nothing makes me sleep..I have to take benadryl with everything and I still wake up all night long. I hope you feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteRene - At one point Darvocet used to knock me out. These days it seems like NOTHING does. I mean if an ordinary (i.e. person without MS) took all the shit I take they would sleep for days, if not die. I'm OVER this insomnia. I'm going to ask for some ambien even if it means I'm eating in the middle of the night, LOL. On the other hand, even if prescription sleeping pills do work, it will only work once or twice before I'm immune to it too. :-(
ReplyDeleteDamnation woman! Although I have to say you have a pretty good lookin' foot there -- minus the stitches. No bunion and the big toe is nice and straight.
ReplyDeleteI have bunions -- gah I hate that word -- and my big toes veer to the left and right on each corresponding foot. Hate that.
CG - Thanks. It must be the angle. I think I have Fred Flintstone feet, LOL.
ReplyDeleteOh my! I came across your blog and I love it, but I also saw that you are from chatt TN. That is so crazy because I only live about 10 min. away from there! (trenton Georgia) How cool. lol Sorry, just had to mention that. anyways Im going to follow you. I really enjoyed reading your posts! :)
ReplyDeleteKendra - Hi! We've probably passed each other in traffic. ;-) Glad to meet you.
ReplyDeleteHey fellow postzoom popularity contest winner, thanks for stopping by my blog! Is the background of this site bruised skin? It's kind of freaking me out... but I like your style too! In fact, your post was so popular I thought about closing my own foot in a chair, just for blog fodder. Then, luckily, my husband cut a chunk of his thumb off trying to slice french bread. What a sweetie. Though he seemed confused when I refused to take him to the hospital and just kept him standing there bleeding while I took photos. Maybe he didn't do it on purpose for me after all.
ReplyDeleteAmy - I have no idea what this background is supposed to be. But now that you mention it, it does kind of look like bruised skin and maybe some betadine too, LOL.
ReplyDeleteThanks. Now I have to find a new background. ;-)