Omah's Birthday was yesterday!

S

he turned 88. I have to post this or I'll forget next year. (Both the date & her age.)

Anyway, a couple of Christmases ago I made her a t-shirt with The Rock's picture on it. She still wears it even though I bought it a size too large. Even though The Rock's face is fading. But she thinks he's so cute. I made her a picture a long time ago for her & gave it to her. She still has it hanging up over her tv.



OMG. The picture was 4 years ago. Evan still looks basically the same to me so it would be hard to tell you when it was if the picture didn't have the date on it.

Anyway.

I usually only see my grandmother on holidays. I used to go there every week on my way to the library (when I was between computers & had nothing better to do & could still walk without a walker) but for the past couple of years I rarely go out to see her. If I'm going out & she's outside, I'll stop for a minute to chat, but I don't go in.

Because her house is always 90°. Always. Summer or winter. Yesterday, when it was 84° she was wearing 2 shirts.

Blah blah.

I decided that I needed to actually go in to see her. I know she's "old" and that one day she won't be here, but it's really hard to imagine. She is so energetic. She's so active. I refuse to believe that she will die before I have grandchildren (which had better not be for another 20 years).

This year, I made her a word search shirt with all the names that we call her. She loves word searches. If she's ever sitting down, you will see her with one of those books doing a word search. So it was kind of cute. I think all of her grandchildren call her something different. Since I was born in Germany, I call her Omah. Her own children call her "Mother", people at her church call her "Miss Firstname". I think it was a cute idea. :-)

Of course she gushed over it. (I had all of her names already circled in red).

Evan's card to her said:
Outside - Happy Birthday. That's it. Nothing else. Just Happy Birthday.
Inside - What are you looking in here for?

My card (with Maxine) said:
Outside - After all of these years, people want to know. Are they real or are they fake?
Inside - Just don't let them touch your teeth.

HA!

When she saw Maxine, she said "Oh Angelika, you didn't get me one of those cards." I think she thought it was going to be sexual. AS IF. (If I get her started on the subject of sex she'll never stop.)

She laughed at both of them. She enjoyed her shirt. I usually give her something I've made (like the crocheted afghan), something she can wear, or something she can eat because she tells us all that she doesn't need "any more shit to dust".

She's a mess.

While we were there, my Oldest Uncle showed up. He is practically deaf (like his mother) but won't get a hearing aid (like his mother).

So the entire time he's there, Omah is saying things like "He can't hear shit." to Evan & rolling her eyes. So Evan's trying to keep a straight face & not let on that OU's mother is talking about him.

OU - So, Evan, are you driving yet?
Evan - I'm 12.
Omah - He can't hear shit. Shout it at him!
Evan - I'M ONLY 12.
OU - I didn't ask if you had a license, I asked if you were driving. When I was 12...

*sigh*

We got to hear all about the farm chores he had to do when he was Evan's age. How the stuff that passes for chicken these days has no flavor. How we wouldn't know what to do if we got a "real" country egg (He forgets that Omah's neighbor had chickens until the day he died so we've had those extremely yellow country eggs before.) How we take just going & turning on the tap to get water for granted. Blahdee effing blah.

He always says "I've got to go." but then starts telling something else which takes 15 minutes because we have to keep repeating our replies to him. That man talks more than any other man I've ever met.

I'm getting tired just thinking about it.

I'm going back to bed. :-)






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