Is it just ME?

FYI - I posted this in a private group on Facebook. Since I posted it to begin with, I can also post it on my blog if I want to!

OMFG!

I locked Evan OFF the PC & told him to wash the dishes to get his password.

I told him that THIS MORNING around 8 am.

He decided to: Go to Nana's, Go visit Cousin n' them, I don't remember what ELSE he did.

But he just started washing the dishes AT 6:30. PM

He's washing them all slow & OCDish (I can see the kitchen sink from the computer desk without having to do anything but look. As in, no turning around. As in, not going out of MY way to SEE WTF he's doing.)

So, he JUST finished (7:34 pm), came over here to wipe his hands dry on the APRON like he always does.

Me - Could you boil me some spaghetti noodles please?

HIM - *sigh* GOES THE FUCK BACK TO WASH THE BIG PASTA NOODLE POT! This means, in his mind, "WASH THE DISHES" did NOT include EVERY.SINGLE.FUCKING.DIRTY.DISH.IN.THE.GODDAMNED.APARTMENT.

I mean, is it just ME?

Were my directions NOT clear?

Did I not tell him what he needed to do in order to get his PC privileges back?

Did I nag him continuously about it?

Did I NOT allow HIM to decide WHEN he gets his PC privileges back by just WASHING THE FUCKING DIRTY DISHES?

?????????????????????????????????????

I KNOW I'm not PMSing, I stayed up all geedee night smoking cigarettes & making my throat raw & doing SOMETHING to my eye that made it BURN when I put "For Dry Eyes" drops in my eye.

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Fuck it.

And YOU BITCHES say I'm going to MISS that MOTHERFUCKER when I kick him the fuck out????

Is y'all crazy?

Or is it me?

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Picture OTD , Monday $December 3$, 2012

Parents KNOW this is true. I had to leave The Boy alone once to drop some kids @ the pool & I came downstairs to find that he (3 yo) had finger-painted himself green to be "A Monstah!" Can't find the pics right now. Hold on & lemme look. ...

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My Effing Teenager

One thing I meant to say was that with The Boy wearing his pants so damned low, it's possible his wallet could have fallen anywhere.

Luckily, he can get his license next month so THEN Im buying him a wallet with a chain that attaches to his pants so even if it falls out, he can find it!

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I almost drowned!

A

nd today I found out the REAL reason.

When I was about 9 I was floating on my back in the pool when I heard my dad call my name, so I tried to stand up and realized I had drifted into the deep section.

I'm flailing, panicking, swallowing water and thinking I'm screaming "HELP!" when in actuality I was probably whispering.

Finally, I found a man's leg under the water & just crawled up him until I could get out.

I said to my dad "Didn't you see me? Why didn't you help me?!?!"
He said "I knew you would do it."

I've been telling that story for 30 years.

Today my mom came over for pizza & we were watching Kevin Hart's "Laugh @ my Pain" and I told the story to my son when Kevin was telling about how his dad almost let him drown.

My mother said "NOOOOOOO! Your father was too busy looking at some chick in a bikini, he didn't even see you!"

...

Thanks, Dad.

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No Christmas for The Boy!

B

TW, I did inform Evan that just because it's vacation from school, it did NOT mean it was vacation from ME & doing what I tell him to do. I informed him of this pre-vacation and I have told him on more than one occasion that because of my MS, he has to help me & I don't want to hear his fucking mouth about it either!

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Now playing: Freaknik - Shank Ya in the Shower

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What Dreams did you have?

F

irst, a little catch-up.

My left hand is feeling almost normal.
My Right hand still has a little of the pins & needles & numbness going on.
I think I've forgotten how to type.
My Bell's Palsy is GONE thank the Lord.
My feet STAY swollen even if I keep my feet propped up above my heart all day.
Finished ALL of my school shopping TAX-FREE in 2 days.
I think that's it?

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Now playing: Commodores - Brick House

Anyway, my question is: What dreams did you have for your child pre-parenthood that you don't have now that you "know" your child/children?

I never intended or expected to have any children. (God had other plans, LOL.)

Anyway, when I was pregnant I had been going to weekly therapy & taking anti-depressants. (I stopped all meds when I found out I was knocked up)

But once I decided to keep the baby I started really wondering why I (a person with NO maternal instincts or even babysitting experience) was pregnant.

My pregnancy was physical hell, not to mention the fact that I was unmarried, mentally fucked up, and basically Ramen Noodle Poor.

I started wondering why God had put me in this situation. I thought my baby might grow up to be the First Black President (Thanks, Obama...), or that he might discover the cure for cancer, or something really amazing.

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Now playing: Snoop Dogg - I Wanna Rock

That's what kept me going when I came home to an empty house & fridge.

Then I met my baby.

He was THE most perfect baby in the world & his first few years (up till school started) more than made up for my hellish pregnancy.

I still had Presidential/Nobel Award Winner aspirations for him.

He saved my life too. Literally. I knew I had to stay alive to make sure he grew up as a well-adjusted & contributing member of society. I knew it was MY PURPOSE to raise this child.

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Now playing: Michael Trembello - She-s a maniac

Anyway...

Now?

HA!

Don't get me wrong, I love Evan to pieces even when I want to smack the shit out of him. Or choke him. Or run away. Or send him away until he's 25ish.

I just don't have those lofty goals in my head for him.

I just want him to stay alive until he's at least 18. I don't want him to have any drug/alcohol problems. I don't want him knocking up some WHORE. I want him to gradute. I want him to go to college or pick a career that he loves. AND I don't want him to eat me out of house & home.


That's not too much to ask, right? ;-)
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Now playing: Fantasia - Baby Makin' Hips

Check out my ashtray

O

kay, so I think you all know I smoke. If you didn't know, now you do. ☺

Anyway, I have a habit of breaking my ashtrays. I don't buy glass anymore. For a while I was just using an old coffee mug with the handle broken off. Then I bought a small metal one (I knew I couldn't break that unless I ran over it with my car) but it's so small and I seem to constantly knock it over so ashes are everywhere.

I wanted a new ashtray that wasn't so small & wasn't breakable.

I went to The Dollar Tree (where everything is $1 or less) and bought a dog bowl. I've used it for about a week & I love it. The only thing was I couldn't lay the cig down while I did something else because it would fall all the way in the bowl.

So I tried burning a hole in it by heating up a spoon (or something) that was the same size as the cigarette. Didn't work out too well. Then I remembered that I have a Dremel. I marked the spot where I wanted the cigarette to stay and got to work.

Evan was home (he's taking auto mechanics in school now) and so he's all "I'll do it!"

Me - I want to get it how I want it and then you can do the rest of them.

So he did.


Now I have my ugly ass hole & his 3 PROFESSIONAL LOOKING HOLES. It pisses me off at the same time that it makes me happy.

I used to be the one who fixed everything and took vcrs & shit apart to fix them. Now my son is taking over. I am proud but also feeling a little replaceable. :-(

I guess all mothers go through this when our children don't need us like they used to or look at us like we make the sun rise every morning.

Anyway, here's my new $1 ashtray, made by Mr. Professional looking shit Evan. ;-p



****Breaking News****

I was driving MD's car last week (I don't remember if I told you this or not) and we got in a wreck (not my fault). No person was injured, just a little cosmetic damage on both cars.

Anyway, today my mother said to me "Did I ever tell you how calm you were when we were driving in the city? Even after the accident you didn't get upset or cry or freak out or anything. You were so cool."

I can't remember her ever giving me a compliment about anything other than my looks, LOL. It was nice.

It was also nice because it reminded me that she used to say the same thing about my father. He never "looked" ruffled. Whatever was going on inside, on the surface he was in charge.

:-)

So many great things have been happening to me this week. I don't think I have the time to tell you all of them. But I thought I would tell you something nice about my mother for a change.

TTYL!
X♥X♥

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I think I'm raising an awesome kid!

I

know you're used to me complaining about the latest thing that Evan has done to drive me insane, but I have something different to tell you today.

He comes home from school, does his homework without me telling him to and then gets on the computer.

I assume he's talking to his friends or playing a game or something.

Then he says "Do you want to hear these news stories?"

Me - Ok...

So he tells me about the FBI wanting Wikipedia to remove their seal, the same sex marriage debate, the mosque that Muslims want to build near the 9/11 Memorial Site and the Birth Right Debate.

We discuss how I think that a) homosexuality is something you're born with and not a choice and 2) denying homosexuals the right to marry is the same as when they wouldn't let blacks marry whites (and if you go to The Spiritual Athiest's article on Keith Olberman's opinion on Proposition 8 in California, you might learn a little something else I didn't know about blacks & marriage) and the other two articles.

Maybe it's just because he's been raised by me and so I'm his "main influence" in life, but the kid has a really good sense of the issues and what is right/wrong/stupid with the world.

He then said "I wish we could write to the people we vote for in the government to tell them what we want and don't want."

Me - You can. You can probably Google the Senators & Representatives for our state & district and tell them exactly what you think. If you do, make sure you include your age. (I'm thinking my 14 year old has more sense in his head than half the fuckers in DC and they should be shamed by that fact, LOL.)

So I asked him why he was reading the news, assuming he had some kind of project or report to do.

Evan - Why not?
Me - All righty then...

:-)

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Now playing: Miley Cyrus - Can`t Be Tamed
via FoxyTunes

Child for adoption! 7/28/10

H

ere's been my day thus far.



BTW, I meant "lawnmower" and not "garbage can" when I said he could probably learn to use one if you teach him. :-)



BTW, I am not satisfied with the way I look, but I'm fiddnuh go relax my hair so...bite me. :-)

I'm also trying a new video compressing freeware program so that my lips actually match the audio.

Whatchoo think?