American on Purpose

I

just finished reading American on Purpose, Craig Ferguson's autobiography.

I don't know what I was expecting, but the book wasn't what I had expected.

I laughed out loud a few times, I was horrified/shocked/interested a LOT, and I teared up a few times. Especially when he wrote about his mother's death, because I remember seeing him on TV when he did his first show after that.

OMG.

I'm not much into reading non-fiction. I have read the occasional book by a personality that interests me, but for the most part, I'm a fiction fan.


"Scottish by birth, American on purpose."

What I mean is that the only knowledge I have about alcoholics or addicts in general is what I've seen on Celebrity Rehab or the one or two episodes of "Intervention" that I've seen.

Craig kind of explains what it was like for him to be an alcoholic, from his very first drink to the last.

He said his 2 great loves in life have been alcohol and women.

The surprising thing (for me), is that even while reading about the stupid shit he did, I didn't feel judgemental.

He's smarter than I thought he was, and I already assumed that he was smart because I don't believe that truly funny people can be stupid.

I guess he's a bit more romantic that I would have thought? I don't know, that doesn't feel right. Maybe it's just the book making me think that?

Anyway, the book is a quick read and if you like @craigyferg at all, you should definitely read it. :-)

Why I love the post office (sarcasm)

S

o, I told you I was waiting for HP to send me a box so I can ship my PC tower to them, right?

Well, the wonderful Postladyperson just left it outside my door.
The library only lets me use the pc for 30 minutes at a time.

There was no school yesterday because of the ice. So it could have been out there since Monday.

I hate it when they do that shit.

They do it all the geedee time. Leave packages between my screen door and the front door. They don't knock or anything.

If Evan doesn't go to school, I don't know anything about it because I don't use the frigging front door because the stairs out there don't have a railing and the last thing I need is to break a hip on the effing concrete out there.

Anyway.

I'm upset.

Because, even though this pc crashes unpredictably (pause to save my progress so far), at least I can use it. Kind of.

I don't like not having a computer, LOL.

But at least I'll be able to read Under the Dome. I bought it as a Christmas present to myself. 12/24 is about when the computer shit started happening and I haven't gotten more than 50 pages into it.

I remember the days when I would read a Stephen King book in 1 day. Harry Potter took a day & a half.

I should be ashamed.

Whatever.

Hewlett Packard better not keep my baby for long or I might have a breakdown.

The library only lets me use the pc for 30 minutes at a time. Who does that shit???

;-p

Audition by Barbara Walters

I

just started this book. I don't normally like non-fiction and I've never been interested in autobiographies, but this book is a page turner!

If you haven't read it yet, you should definitely check it out. I'm only at her college years and I could barely put it down to write this post.

It definitely gives me a new perspective to the woman I've seen on TV ever since I could remember. Such an interesting life!

That's all, I have to go read more. :-)

It's Thursday - 3/5/09

I

am very into the Artemis Fowl series. I'm on book 2 now that I stole the whole series from Evan's room since he isn't reading them.

That is all.

Because I have nothing...

I

have decided to share some of my favorites from "Black Folks' Little Instruction Book". :-)

9. Start the way you can hold out.

18. Don't let anyone tell you who your leaders are.

19. Never put more than ten barrettes in your daughter's hair at one time.

22. Do not give a child a name that has more than 18 letters in it.

25. No one has appointed you chief of the Black Police. You have no right to judge who is black enough and who isn't.

31. Remember, there is no such thing as "good" hair. If it is yours, it's good.

33. Do not add ed to words that already end in ed.

43. See Roots.

51. Don't be ashamed to admit that you like chitlins.

61. No matter how little Vaseline you put on your legs, they still look like patent leather.

62. Love your lips.

64. CP Time is not an acceptable excuse for lateness. Be prompt.

72. Don't let your fear of racism keep you from following your dreams.

73. When times get tough, rejoice in the knowledge that you are one in a long line of proud, courageous people who have a history of surviving.

75. Specific and Pacific are not the same thing.

77. Never conversate.

87. Your kids will have a number of friends throughout their lives but only one mother and father. Have the courage to be a parent.

90. There may be times in your life when you need more help than your friends and family can provide. Love yourself and see a therapist.

93. Learn how and when to back down in an argument.

96. Take the time to spend time alone.

97. Measure your success only by what you want out of life, not by what other people tell you you should have.

98. Always tell the truth. Few things are more discouraging than realizing you have just lied on your lie.

100. Don't wait for opportunities, make them.

There are 350 "lessons" in this book, but I stopped at 100. Of course, they aren't all only applicable to black people, but some of these things are cultural and black people need to be reminded of them once in a while. :-)

Just so ya know

I

read about 30 pages of Judge & Jury, but then I went to Wal-Mart today & got Odd Hours by Dean Koontz so I'll be reading that first! :-)

Ok, since they said this about the book on Koontz's official website, I can break it to you. Odd used to be "haunted" by the ghost of Elvis Presley. At the end of "Brother Odd", Elvis finally moved on and Frank Sinatra's ghost shows up. I'll be interested to see what kind of character Sinatra is.

Wheeeeeeeeee! I might be up all night. ON PURPOSE! :-)

Also, I went to Dean Koontz's website and he has an entire Odd Thomas section with youtube.com videos of an internet series called "Odd Passenger".

It looked like Gary Oldman was the ghost in that clip. I have no idea. What do you think?

You can see webisodes 2-4 at youtube.com.

Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4

Judge & Jury

I

started reading this last night (Sunday, May 18). I'm only 30 pages in, so I'll just quote what it says on the book jacket:

THE JUDGE IS TERRIFIED OF THE DEFENDANT.
The case quickly becomes the new Trial of the Century. Mafia don Dominic Cavello, known as the Electrician, is linked to hundreds of gruesome, unspeakable crimes. Senior FBI agent Nick Pellisante has been tracking him for years. He knows Cavello's power reaches far beyond the courtroom, but the FBI's evidence against the ruthless killer is iron-clad. Conviction is a sure thing.

SO IS THE JURY.
As the jury is about to reach a verdict, the Electrician makes one devastating move that no one could have predicted. The entire nation is reeling, and Andie's world is shattered. For her, the hunt for the Electrician becomes personal, and she and Pellisante come together in an unbreakable bond: they will exact justice-at any cost.

THE VERDICT: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.
James Patterson spins an all-out heart-pounding legal thriller that pits two people against the most vicious and powerful mobster since John Gotti. Judge & Jury is a stunning feat by "one of America's most influential authors" (New York Times).

When I went to the library, I got books that didn't look or sound familiar to me. But when I went to Amazon to get the photo, it said I already own this book...

I'll find out when I get more into it, and it all starts seeming familiar. But I've looked on all my book cases downstairs and I don't see it. It could be upstairs, but I really don't want to know bad enough to climb the stairs, LOL.

Whatevah.

TTYL!

I finished "Darkest Evening of the Year"

I

liked it a lot. Not as much as I like the Odd Thomas books, but I read it pretty much straight through since I started reading it. Other than opening tabs on which Evan would drop my Entrecard, I haven't even been on the PC.

It was very interesting. As I said the other day, a woman named Amy Redwing owned a Golden Retriever Rescue Shelter.

I also told you about the psycho pyromaniac beeyatch.

What I didn't tell you about was Amy's BF. His name is Brian and he's an architect. He is connected to the psycho beeyatch.

I really don't want to get into the book, because I want you to read it. If, like Cardiogirl, you're not so much into the "supernatural" type of stuff, this might not be your cup of tea. But if you are willing to "suspend disbelief" and just go with the story, I think it will really make you happy when it's all said and done.

The bad people get what's coming to them, and so do the good people.

I'm thinking about convincing MD that it's time for her to get another dog. A Golden Retriever. And Evan, *wink wink*, will want to name the dog Nickie. ;-)

You can see what Dean Koontz has to say about the book HERE.

Smooches!

The Darkest Evening of the Year

I

am currently reading "The Darkest Evening of the Year" by Dean Koontz.

I'm on Chapter 13 right now.

It's about a woman, Amy Redwing, who founded an organization to rescue abandoned & endangered Golden Retrievers. It starts out with her driving in the middle of the night to rescue a dog from a man who is abusive to his family and has already killed one dog.

The dog is named Nickie. The first time her BF sees her, Nickie is surrounded with a golden "halo" of light.

When Amy gets home, the 2 Goldens that she already has (Fred & Ethel) act differently towards Nickie than they do to other strays that Amy brings home. No butt sniffing. But Ethel does keep bringing Nickie toys until Nickie finds one that she likes. Amy notices that all the lights in the house are on when she had only left one on.

Also, there's some crazy pyromaniac beeyatch who has to have sex in total darkness and then burn stuff and/or people afterwards with her boy toy.

Here's an excerpt from what About.com said about the book:

"No one is surprised when Amy risks her life to save Nickie, nor when she takes the female golden into her home. The bond between Amy and Nickie is immediate and uncanny. Even her two other goldens, Fred and Ethel, recognize Nickie as special, a natural alpha. But the instant joy Nickie brings is shadowed by a series of eerie incidents. An ominous stranger. A mysterious home invasion.

And the unmistakable sense that someone is watching Amy's every move and that, whoever it is, he's not alone."

So far, it's very interesting. I can't wait to find out why Nickie is such a special dog and what the hell that pyromaniac chick is up to! :-)

I finished "You've Been Warned"

I

didn't like it. Even while I was reading it, I didn't like it. But I cannot leave a book unfinished once I start reading it.

Kristin Burns is a 20 something nanny with aspirations of being a photographer. She works for the wealthy Turnbull family in Manhattan,NY. She loves the 2 children to bits, but she hates their step-mother. She calls her "The Pencil". She's also having an affair with Mr. Turnbull.

She starts having a recurring nightmare about events at a particular hotel. She screams so loud that her neighbors hear & complain to management. She also starts seeing dead people. Strangers know her name & keep giving her warnings. A detective considers her a "person of interest" in the incident at the hotel. She's being followed by a man with a ponytail.

Blah blah.

It might be that I hated the fact that some stupid twit was having an affair with a married man. I have serious moral "issues" with that. I hated the fact that she honestly believes that he'll leave his wife for her. I hated the fact that she sees his violent temper and ignores it. I did not like this girl at all. I did not like the fact that she kept referring to a past incident at that hotel but not providing details. (When we finally find out what the incident was, it really had nothing to do with the story that was going on in the present. It was an unnecessary plot 'twist'.)

I did not like the ending, although I was glad the stupid book was finally over.

I think I figured out how the whole "2 Authors writing one book" thing worked. James Patterson started it, realized it was a piece of shit, and gave it to Howard Roughan to finish.

The best thing about "You've Been Warned" is the title. Don't bother reading it.

You've Been Warned

S

ince finishing "Brother Odd", I've been reading "You've Been Warned" by James Patterson & Howard Roughan. I really don't understand how this 2 authors on one book thing works (especially if it's fiction), but I'm about one third of the way through it (5/15 4:11 am), and it just feels like a Patterson book.

I can't put it down.

The only reason I'm up right now instead of sleeping is that I had been writing another Scheduled Post & my computer was acting "special" so I restarted it, but read for about 4 hours until I decided finally remembered that I hadn't finished the post. I needed to finish it while I was still in the same "writing mood".

I tell you, I'm so scatterbrained that half the time I don't even know what I'm saying.

:-)

Whatever.

Image via WikipediaAfter Evan's on the school bus (or Cheese Wagon, as he calls it) and I pass out, I'll probably finish the book today.

Earlier today I washed dishes, cleaned the bathroom, did some laundry by myself and actually cooked dinner. Just Tuna Helper, but it involved me being in the kitchen with a burner on and the use of a measuring cup. So it counts!

I did all of this without the benefit of a "Head Shot" or caffeine. I don't know why that is...

One useful thing that I have discovered, though, is that I can read & watch the DVR crap I record at the same time. I just read through the commercials.

I'll talk about TV on a different post, though.

I have to get back to my book.

Angelika. Out.

I finished "Brother Odd" by Dean Koontz.

I realized that I love Odd Thomas as much as I can love a fictional character. He's funny, droll, earnest. He reminds me of how I think Kevin Numerick would be IRL (if I ever met him). Except maybe without the droll, LOL. I don't know. It's hard to perceive sarcasm on Kevin's blog.

I remember when I read the first "Odd" book, there was a point where Odd (he always narrates the books) said something like 'Your imagination is not as twisted as mine.' and I instantly thought "You don't know how twisted my imagination is!" and the very next sentence was something like 'I'm not saying that your imagination isn't very twisted, I'm sure it would horrify a lot of people, etc'. It cracked me up.

That's why I love this character so much. He makes me laugh at the most unexpected moments.

Anyway, in the last book, "Forever Odd", Odd's fiancé died. So this book started with him living in a monastery. He'd been there for about 7 months. He felt guilty that he couldn't save her or more of the people in the last book, so he needed some spiritual rejuvenation.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that Odd sees earthbound spirits (people who had lived, and then hadn't "moved on") and bodachs (entities that had never lived, but appeared whenever bad things were about to happen). He is also "haunted" by the ghost of Elvis Presley. None of the ghosts can speak, so he has to has to communicate with them through charades. (That's the best way to put it.) Elvis always appears in something that he's worn in one of his movies, and he always seems to want to make Odd smile. I don't know who Elvis was IRL (duh), but I like the Elvis in this book.

Anyway, the monastery is, in addition to being a home for Monks & Nuns, a home for "special needs" children. Only 3 people at the monastery know about Odd's abilities. Everyone seems to like Odd, except for one of the monks, Brother Romanovich. He is suspicious of Odd & his reasons for being at the monastery. Odd is even more suspicious of Brother Romanovich. They have strange conversations where Odd tries to try to trip up the monk. Romanovich was Russian born, but claimed have lived in Indiana as a librarian before he came to the monastery. Odd keeps asking him about specific streets or buildings or festivals in Indiana & Romanovich keeps trying to figure out who Odd Thomas is.

One of the people who does know about Odd's abilities is Brother Salvatore (called "Knuckles" by Odd because pre-monk, Salvatore was muscle for the mob).

Shortly before the books begins, one of the monks had committed suicide. No one had a clue that the monk had been depressed or that anything was wrong with him.

One day, Odd sees 3 bodachs surrounding some of the children. He knows something bad is going to happen and he has to try to find out what and when as soon as possible if he's going to save the children and everyone else. He believes that Romanovich has something to do with it.

A blizzard is in the forecast, phones no longer work, and more bodachs keep showing up...

This was a quick read for me. I loved it so much, I was sad to have it end. But at least I can look forward to reading "Odd Hours" when it comes out on May 20! :-)

Since I was online checking my comments,

I

just thought I'd tell you that I'm loving Brother Odd. I'm about 100 pages in. I actually went to bed early last night so that I could wake up and stay up when Evan got up this morning and until I started hearing a suspicious noise outside (my neighbor is getting a new heating/AC unit), I was reading.

That's all! :-)

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The next book I'll be reading

A

fter finishing Double Cross by James Patterson, will be Brother Odd by Dean Koontz.

I've read the other books in the series, Odd Thomas and Forever Odd. I didn't even know about Brother Odd before we went to the library on Thursday.

I like reading books that are in a series. It's like seeing a good friend and catching up on what's been happening in their life since the last time you saw each other, nodamene?

Thomas is a 20 something fry cook and seems to have no ambition to change that. What's "odd" about him is that he sees dead people. He sees the good and the bad (called "bodachs"). The only people who know about this are his girlfriend and his best friend, who happens to be the Police Chief.

I think you can see where this is going. When Thomas sees bodachs, it's a warning of trouble brewing. So, with the help of the Police Chief and GF, he tries to stop the bad things before they happens, or at least help make it not as bad as it would have been without his intervention.

If you like science fiction or even mysteries, you should definitely check out this series of books.

I'll let you know what I think after I read it. :-)

I finished Double Cross

I

t was good. Really good.

In case you didn't know, James Patterson is the one who wrote "Along Came a Spider" and "Kiss the Girls" which were made into major motion pictures starring Morgan Freeman as Dr./Detective Alex Cross.

The first couple of times I read a Patterson book, I had no idea that the author was white. Alex Cross is black. He lives in Southeast DC. His best friend, John Sampson, is also black.

This isn't important to the story, but when I found out that the author was white, I became really impressed with his characterization of black people. It wasn't stereotypical. It wasn't insulting to me as a black woman. They are just great characters. I love the relationships in the family. I also think the casting of Morgan Freeman as Cross was an excellent choice. Even though Alex Cross doesn't look like Morgan Freeman in my head, I can't imagine another actor who could play the character as well as Freeman.

Back to the book.

The story is about Cross, known as the Dragon Slayer for his excellent record of profiling and catching serial killers. He's gotten to the point in his career with the FBI where he's kind of tired of it all. And so is Nana Mama, the grandmother who had raised him since he was a child. So he quits the FBI and 'hangs his shingle' as a psychiatrist.

Then a new serial killer starts killing people and practically daring Cross to catch him. He is called the "Audience Killer" (or DCAK for short) because he commits his crimes in public.

At the same time, an old serial killer (and former FBI agent), Kyle Craig, that Cross had caught & put in jail escapes from the super maximum security prison in which he has spent the past 4 years.

So Cross is back on the job along with his girlfriend Bree Stone (a DC police detective) and his best friend (also a DCPD detective).

I was able to guess some of the twists, but I was NOT able to anticipate the ending of the book. I cannot wait for the next one!

It's late. I'm going to read "Brother Odd" until I fall asleep. :-)

Dear Constant Readers

I

have written several scheduled posts so that there will be new blog post every day. Those include what books I'm reading & after they have been read, I will be posting reviews. :-)

I finished "Cross" by James Patterson & am half way through "Double Cross". I don't know when that post will show up, LOL.

Evan will be dropping for me on my favorite blogs & some others in exchange for a DVD that he wants, but I'll be checking my comments because I can't quit the internet cold turkey! (Don't laugh at me, Motherwise.)

TTYL!

Double Cross is good & I have to get back to it! :-)

The first book I'll be reading

A

fter I finish Cross by James Patterson will be Double Cross by James Patterson.

I could have finished "Cross" on Thursday at the laundromat but A) Evan brought a book and he didn't like it in the first 4 pages so he talked to me almost constantly and 2) Some cross eyed old man would not shut up about the freaking weather "It's barely raining outside. I'd never know there was a tornado warning!" and "It's really coming down now" and "Once I came here and some man was laying on the folding table asleep the whole time." and "Blah blah motherfreaking blah."

WHAT IS IT about me that makes people think that I am the person, out of all the other strangers, that they need to talk to???

High Five Friday - 5/9/08

I

decided to take advantage of Blogger's new "Scheduled Posts" option. So maybe I can write a bunch of crap and still have new posts every day even though I'll be reading. Actual books....

Or maybe not. We shall see, LOL.

Anyway, here are the high fives (some are from last week when I didn't do the meme.

Telling it like it is for this post because I agree. When I used to try to buy clothes for my nieces, all the clothes they sold looked like "Whore in training" crap. I'm so glad I have a boy so I don't have to worry about that!

Dinometer Deb for the link love. I think it's really cute the way she comes up with stories to add the links. :-)

Hot Topics for this post. It really makes you realize that you need to be thankful for what you have instead of complaining about how long the line is at Starbucks (or some other stupid little thing).

Technically Easy for the unexpected blog review. :-)

Time for a Smile because this is the kind of blog that makes me happy. I don't normally like photo blogs, but this is such a simple idea. I love it!

So Now What? for this post. Tell it! I detest whiny punks. I get on my own nerves when I whine...

Mottekaero jDonuts for this post.

The Why File for the post about creepy playgrounds.

My Blog Rules for this post. :-)

FYI - I might not be around much

Image via Wikipedia

T

oday we had another Tornado Warning. Evan got home at 11:30 (while MD was here eating her Chinese take-out. Her first outing since being in the hospital.)

Anyway, after she left, we went to the Post Office to get some Forever Stamps, went to wash all the comforters & then went to the library.

I got 8 books.

Evan doesn't think I can read 8 books in 2 weeks. I can read at least 14 books in 2 weeks if I read instead of surf the internet.

So I will be reading just to show that boy that I can quit the internet any time.

Really.

I can.

:-)

Well I finished Duma Key

I feel the kind of sadness I feel whenever I finish a book that I really liked. I want to know what happens next with the characters.

I'll probably read it again.

The whole book was good, but it got "Sitting on the edge of your seat" good in the last few chapters.

The story is of Edgar Freemantle who is a building contractor in Minnesota. He's happily married with 2 grown daughters.

One day, he goes to the job site and is hit by a crane that isn't making that "beep beep" noise as it backs into his truck.

He loses his right arm, breaks a few ribs & a hip, etc.

When it's clear that he'll survive. His wife tells him that she wants a divorce.

Anyway, he moves to Duma Key, Florida to wait it out until he can kill himself without the insurance company being suspicious, or making his daughters feel the stigma of a father who committed suicide.

While he's there, he remembers that he used to draw. (Lucky for him, he's a lefty.) So he starts drawing. And his right "arm" starts itching furiously.

While he's in these 'fugue states' the pictures that he draws (and eventually paints) are kind of psychic & very creepy.

While he's doing his rehab (walking on the beach for longer distances each day), he meets Wireman (I love Wireman). A former lawyer who is now the caretaker for an elderly lady named Elizabeth something.

That's all I'm telling you.

Read the book.

You can watch a short video of Stephen King describing Duma Key HERE. You can also download a PDF of the first chapter of Duma Key HERE.

Now I go to start reading again.

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