The people with whom I graduated are OLD!

I

just went to get myself some more cigars ($.90/pack vs $3.++/pack) and the dude at the register looked familiar.

Me - Are you John?
He - Yeah.
Me - I think we went to HS together.
He - Yeah. We did.
Me - Oh, okay.
He - I used to cheat off of you and Ginger in Biology
Me - I just saw Fineass and he told me & my son that I'd never let him cheat off of me. I must not have known you were cheating.
He - Oh you knew!
Me - Well, whatever.
He - It was like a team thing. We all sat at the same table. Me, you, Ginger & Someotherguy.
Me - OH YEAH!

Ginger had a crush on John. And Ginger was the first friend I made when I moved down here so I guess I didn't care if she cheated off of me and then the others cheated off of her, LOL.

I DO remember once in English class when the quiz that I filled out got passed around to the whole class because the teacher was absent. When she came back, she said "You all need to cheat better. How can everyone have gotten question #2 wrong? Not one of you had the right answer."

LMFAO!

Anyway, John looks like he's lead a hard life.

I know his ex wife. She is the very definition of a shrew. But black. She's Shanaynay.

He looks 50. Like Billy Cyrus but older. If he's my age, he's only 36. If he failed a few times, he shouldn't be more than 40.

I don't look that fucking old.

I feel sorry for white people.

:-)

Tuesday Randomness

I

feel like today should be Wednesday. Maybe because I was up so early yesterday.

In case you were wondering, I'm up to the Reagan Administration in Audition. This book seriously is a history lesson. I was surprised that Walters said, when speaking about First Lady Betty Ford, that if she were doing the interview today she would show the footage of an obviously intoxicated Mrs. Ford. She said that we are a "let it all hang out" society these days and maybe having shown the footage, it would have made Mrs. Ford get help sooner.

Well, IMO, people who are drug addicts/alcoholics don't really change unless or until they hit rock bottom. Didn't we have about 2 years with Britney Spears acting insane before her family stepped in? Maybe a First Lady would get help sooner, but I don't think that any of these young stars would care enough about their careers or the effect their actions have on society to really do anything just because a video popped up on TMZ.

----------------
Now playing: Lady Gaga - Poker Face

My fingernails seem to have stopped growing. :-(



I cut them because they kept breaking and I don't like when one nail is short and all the other ones are long. I knew the short ones would never catch up with the long ones. But I'm getting sick of looking at my short fat fingers!

----------------
Now playing: 50 Cent - Get Up

Tina Fey is hilarious on Twitter. She just doesn't do it enough. My favorite Tweet from her is "I don't even know why I bother to chew corn anymore." She's precious. :-)

I got my Nielson Home Scanner. It's just like one of those scanners at the grocery store. You scan the shit you buy and then send it to Nielson and you earn points. I'll let you know how it goes.

I took the "DO NOT DISTURB" sign off of my door so that UPS would deliver it, but they didn't. They took it to my landlord. Which is fine, I guess. But he sat here talking for me for about 20 minutes about computers. That's why I don't like talking to people. You ask one question and they tell you everything.

I did find out that his home computer, that he built himself, has like 5GB of RAM.

RAM = Random Access Memory.

To put it in perspective, I added about 512Mb of RAM to this computer. So I have 1.24Gb RAM. One (1) Gigabyte. He has 5 GB of RAM and I don't remember how much memory in total. I just know that when he told me, my jaw dropped.

He said he'd sell it for about $1000.

I'm driving a Pinto and he's got a Ferrari, in other words.

I can't even imagine how fast his computer is. I just wishhhhhhhhhhhhh I could afford to put whatever I wanted on my computer and not slow it down.

*sigh*

I think that's all. I need more cigars.

Hugh Laurie talks about Monsters vs. Aliens

Watch Kevin Costner Interviews from Reeltalk.

Reason #872 why The South is stoopit

S

o Evan picks this morning to fall asleep after he's taken his shower. I have a second alarm @ 6:30 to make sure he's up. So he waits until I turned that one off, went upstairs to get dressed, and fell asleep. I woke up again @ 7:12. 9 minutes after the bus would have come.

I don't always remember if he's actually gotten out of the house in the morning, even if we've had a conversation. But I saw his shoes and backpack so I knew he was still here.

I went upstairs, yelled at him, got a little satisfaction from seeing him do his full body OMGWTF? reaction and got dressed myself.

Him - I can be absent today.
Me - No you can't. (BTW, I got his latest report card on Friday and it's even worse than the last one.)

So as I drove around to take him to school, I noticed that our apartment complex has that "Slow Death in Family" sign.

...

Maybe it's my sick sense of humor, but every time I see that sign, I think "Oh, so someone had a long and lingering death there." I never think "I should show down as a sign of respect for the dead person who doesn't even know I'm on this road."

Reason #871 that The South is stoopit is pulling over to the side of the road for a funeral procession.

I never saw that shit in Maryland. I don't remember my father's funeral procession stopping traffic. And how do we know that everyone with their lights on is in that procession anyway? So many people have their lights on all day every day.

WTF?

*sigh*

I'm irritated.

My face hurts.
My knee hurts where The Boy hit me with a fucking cane (allegedly accidentally)
I didn't want to get out of bed @ 7 am.
These cigars that I'm smoking meet my oral fixation need, but they don't taste as mentholly fresh as a cigarette.

I can probably find some more reasons to be irritated if I think about it.

But I won't.

Smoking

J

ust when I thought I was done, I got pulled back in!

High Five Friday - 3/27/09

F

ollowing are this week's High Fives in no particular order.

Hugh Laurie Q&A @ HouseMD

Feeling Grouchy? @ Amy Oops

Office Praise @ Hey Shae!

Laugh or Cry? @ Tara Dharma

Looking for a Job? @ Superficial Gallery

Audition by Barbara Walters

I

just started this book. I don't normally like non-fiction and I've never been interested in autobiographies, but this book is a page turner!

If you haven't read it yet, you should definitely check it out. I'm only at her college years and I could barely put it down to write this post.

It definitely gives me a new perspective to the woman I've seen on TV ever since I could remember. Such an interesting life!

That's all, I have to go read more. :-)

Um...where'd they all go?

I

think everyone who used to advertise on my blog is GONE from Entrecard.

I can't remember the last time my ad price was so low...

Wednesday Memeage - 3/25/09

N

othing to say, so I'm resorting to a meme.

Wednesday Media Mix
[Listen] What song have you listened to the most in the past month? Does it an any way reflect the current state of your life, or is it a song you just happen to like a lot? Just Dance by Lady Gaga. It doesn't reflect my life because I don't go to clubs and get so drunk that I can barely stand up. I don't go to clubs anyway. I just like the song.

[Watch] Do you feel like you always root for the right people in movies/TV? It depends on the movie. If I don't like the particular actor or if the movie is so bad that I find myself rooting for the bad guy so that something interesting will happen. Thankfully, that's rare.


[Read] Do you prefer to read fiction with very clear good guys/bad guys, or is it better if the line is blurred? I appreciate when I'm rooting for the main character (who is usually the good guy). In the Artemis Fowl books, for instance, he's a criminal mastermind, he's just not as bad as the other bad guys, LOL. I don't really care if it's a clearly defined good or bad guy, I just want the experience to be enjoyable.

That's what you get!

L

ast week was Spring Break for The Boy. So I let him sleep downstairs on the futon beside my bed. He stayed up until God knows when and I didn't wake him up until 10 or 11, depending on how I was feeling.

Saturday (or something) he left me a note that said "Ha Ha, I stole the DVD player!"

As you may remember, he's on punishment for his report card. So I took his cable, his DVD player and his Gamecube.

I let him take the Gamecube upstairs one day last week. Actually, he took it upstairs one day and I didn't care enough to go get it. That's why he took the DVD player. He thought he could get away with it.

I happened to wake up in the middle of the night the day he took the DVD player, so I went upstairs and took the Audio cords for the DVD player and the Video cords for the Gamecube.

It all looks the same until he turns it on.

He comes downstairs the next day all mad and says "What did you do?"
Me - I don't know what you're talking about.
Him - What did you do to the DVD player and Gamecube?
Me - OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH. The DVD player and Gamecube that you're not supposed to have? I don't know. Figure it out.

So he came downstairs and searched all over for the missing parts.

HAAAAAAAAAAA! He didn't find them, obviously

Yesterday we did the laundry, as you know.

I told him that he had to go to bed earlier or it was going to be really hard for him to get up this morning. So I gave him the allergy pills that he hates because they make him sleepy and off he went.

This morning at 7:09 he wakes me up.

Evan - MOM! I've been standing here for a while and the bus hasn't come. And no one else is at the bus stop.

So I had to look at the school calendar. Today is a teacher work day, so he didn't have to go.

But since he was up, I had him wash some dishes and vacuum.

:-)

NSFW You Tube Video

T

his cracks me up.



AND check out this kid interviewing the players from Miami Heat. I love his questions. :-)

Yes, I changed my blog

I

don't know about it...what do you think?

It's nice and springy...

What do you think?

Did the laundry today

E

ven though I had all week to do it.

My knees were hurting...

Yeah, that's why we didn't do it sooner...

Anyway, Evan and I were in the car people watching while the clothes washed and dried and a redneck pulled up right beside us and parked in the handicapped space.

----------------
Now playing: Lady Gaga - Poker Face

Me - He doesn't look handicapped to me.
Evan - Why is he staring at us?
Me - I don't know. I think he's going dumpster diving.

Dude gets out of the car. He's wearing all camo.

He goes to the dumpster and looks inside.

Me - That's a nice pot belly. I'm going to have sex with him.
Evan - LMFAO!

Dude comes back, still staring.

Evan - He's starting at you now.
Me - Because he wants to have sex with me too, dur.

Dude gets in car and Evan & I continue talking about him.

My alarm goes off, letting us know that it's time to put the clothes in the dryer.

So we get out of the car. Evan smiles at dude. Dude does not respond.

Inside the laundromat.

----------------
Now playing: N Sync - Gone

Evan - I smiled at him and he didn't smile back.
Me - Whatever.

So after we put the crap in the dryer, we go back out to the car.

Evan - I guess he can't read since he parked in the handicapped space.
Me - Well, there are no words there, just the symbol.
Evan - Maybe he can't read symbols.

Redneck starts burping.

Me - Maybe that's his only mode of communication.
Evan - LOL.

So after the alarm goes off again, we go in to fold the clothes.

Me - Go out to the car and put my purse in the trunk, I don't trust that dude.
Evan *comes back from putting my purse in the trunk* he smiled at me this time. He was looking at the car.
Me - Oh.

After we fold the clothes, we go back to the car.

----------------
Now playing: Diddy - Last Night (feat. Keyshia Cole)

Redneck is talking on the phone

RN - I'm at the laundry...warshin some underwears....I don't know, I just started. Bye. (pronounced Bah)
Me - Now he thinks he's a sheep.
RN - Bah. Bah. Baaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Evan - *cracking up*

Then I got home and visited my favorite blogs. I found a quiz that tells you your greatest of the 7 deadly sins.

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	Very High
Envy:	Low
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Medium

Discover Your Sins - Click Here

I am not surprised that Sloth is my greatest sin. I am surprised that I rated very low on Lust. I have lustful thoughts all the time...

Bah.
----------------
Now playing: Sean Paul - Temperature

High Five Friday on Saturday - 3-21-09

F

ollowing are this week's High Fives in no particular order.

Click on the images to get to the post. :-)

Today was a good day.

W

hat up people?

I was supposed to go to Wally World with MD this morning, but my knees are both acting up. So I spent the morning having insane dreams with ice packs on my knees.

----------------
Now playing: The Knux - Bang Bang

The ice packs didn't work. :-( Whatever, I needed some milk & bread, so I had to go to Wal-Mart. I found out that my cigarettes went up from $20/carton to $34/carton so I decided now's the time to quit and went and refilled my xanax prescription, LOL.

I feel sorry for The Boy when I run out of cigs...

So we went to the pharmacy & on the way there, half of the sky was sunny and the other half was cloudy. So Evan took this picture:

Then we stopped by MD's house to give her a sample of Baby Wipes with Shea Butter.

----------------
Now playing: Jamie Foxx - Blame It

I'm allergic to Shea Butter. I didn't know that until I had been using lotion with shea butter for the longest time and couldn't figure out why the heck I was itching all the time.

Ennyway, she said she wanted to go to Western Sizzlin but she didn't feel like it after she'd gotten home this morning. Sooooo Evan and I talked her into going.

Evan and I ate her money's worth. It was my breakfast. OH! I forgot to tell you about my retarded dream.

While I had the ice packs on my knees, I fell asleep.

I dreamt that I had gone to Movie Gallery and asked them if they took checks. It wasn't MY Movie Gallery, it looked completely different in the dream.

The chick at the register said she needed to see my license. My license was from Brooklyn, NY. I was thinking "Oh crap. I haven't lived in Brooklyn in forever. I hope that doesn't matter." (I've never lived in Brooklyn)

----------------
Now playing: 50 Cent - Get Up

Then the chick needed my license plate #. I told her that I don't know my license plate and I was riding with my brother. She said "Oh, it doesn't matter. I just have to put something down here."

So we went outside and my brother saw 2 police cars and he said "Shit! I have to get out of here"

Then I woke up.

Retarded, right?

Anyway, I got a blog award from Kat @ Candles Crafts and Whatnot.



Thanks, Kat! That was a nice surprise to come home to! I'll pass it on when I have a chance to think about it.

So then I took a bath and washed my hair (the hair that I still haven't straightened yet). I took a video.



----------------
Now playing: Lady Gaga feat. Akon - Just Dance

Then I told Evan to start watching his basketball game (Lakers vs. Warriors) and found out that I have another blog award. This time from Tiffany @ Breakfast at Tiffany's

Thanks! After Evan saw that I'd gotten another blog award he stuck out his lower lip and said he wanted a blog award, so I guess I'll give him one...out of pity.

Then take it back when he has more subscribers than I do. ;-)
----------------
Now playing: Ice Cube - N**** ya love to hate

I don't think I have anything else to say...

Ta!

Evan changed my desktop

H

e did it while I was upstairs taking a shower.


At least it's not some video game character...

----------------
Now playing: Lady Gaga - Poker Face
via FoxyTunes

Holiday Movie Review

I

happened to wake up early this morning and TCM was showing Holiday with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. I missed the first 10 minutes, but it really didn't matter. Following is a quick review of the movie

Director: George Cukor
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Plot: (according to IMDb) "Free-thinking Johnny Case finds himself betrothed to a millionaire's daughter. When her family, with the exception of black-sheep Linda and drunken Ned, want Johnny to settle down to big business, he rebels, wishing instead to spend the early years of his life on "holiday." With the help of his friends Nick and Susan Potter, he makes up his mind as to which is the better course, and the better mate."
Should you see it? YES!
Rating (out of 5 hearts): &hearts&hearts&hearts&hearts
My Comments: This is one of those movies you can't see with any judgements. It's pretty clear from the beginning of the movie that Johnny (Grant) belongs with Linda (Hepburn) instead of Julia Seton.

The Setons are the stereotypical wealthy family. They turn up their noses at anyone who does manual labor or doesn't come from the "right kind" of family. Johnny grew up with blue collar parents and worked his way through Harvard business school.

So when Johnny is 30, he has made his first million dollars and decides that he's going to quit his job and enjoy his life while he's still young. He just hasn't told his fiancée Julia.

When Linda meets Johnny, she finds a kindred soul and admires his plan to a enjoy a life spent pursuing happiness instead of money.

I think you can guess what happens. And when it did, it made me smile.

Me.

I am the woman lacking most of the romantic bones in the typical female body.

Definitely check out this movie if you see it on your schedule. It will leave you feeling good about life. :-)

----------------
Now playing: Madonna - Holiday

Montel Williams on Oprah

L

ast week Tyler Perry was on Oprah, so I watched the Hated Woman's Show for that reason. I found out that Montel Williams was going to be on today talking about Multiple Sclerosis, so I set my DVR to record it.

MD called me today to ask if I was watching it.
My BFF texted me to see if I was watching it.

----------------
Now playing: Missy Elliot - Gossip Folks

Dur.

I'm glad MD watched it. I think because I don't complain constantly (IRL) about how I feel, that she thinks I'm faking how bad I feel. It was nice to have Montel talk about the pain he has (his pain sounds much worse than how I feel every day) and people thinking that since he's still walking, he's doing fine.

Multiple Sclerosis is not only a hard disease to diagnose (took me 2 years and countless tests to get a diagnosis), but it's a hard disease to live with because 90% of your symptoms are hidden.

If you tell someone that you have cancer, they understand immediately that you might not feel like going out to eat, or going shopping, or going to the movies.

You tell someone that you have Multiple Sclerosis and 1) they don't really understand what it is and 2) you look fine so they think you must be fine.

Only Evan (poor Evan) and the people who read my blog know how shitty I feel a lot of the time. People I see when I go out have no idea, because I don't like to complain out loud. I'm not a "woe is me" kind of person, never have been.

----------------
Now playing: Jennifer Lopez - Jenny From The Block

I made Evan watch with me. He didn't want to. I think he was afraid of hearing what the future of MS might be for me. I said "Montel has had it for 10 years, and he's still walking. I'm sure it will be fine. I don't care if you don't want to watch it. You are. Sit down."

Halfway through, his Favorite Cousin came and asked if he could go outside.

Me - When Oprah is over.
Evan - Not until Oprah is over.
FC - *incredulous voice* You're watching Oprah?
Me - LMFAO!
Evan - *sounding very depressed and put upon* Yes. Do you want to watch it with us?
FC - No, I don't want to watch Oprah!
Evan - I'll see you when it's over.

Heh.

Anyway, I paused it a few times to say "I've experienced that too." and I told Evan that when he was younger and I used to have to drop him off a daycare that I would pray that there was some way I could not work but still be able to pay my bills.

I got Multiple Sclerosis. Not the way I would have wanted my prayer answered, but it was answered. I don't think I'd ever told him that before.

----------------
Now playing: Donnie Klang - Take You There (Ft. Diddy)

He was so cute and cuddly and smart and I hated having to drop him off with someone else to raise every day. I wanted to raise him with my values and beliefs.

Anyway, my diagnosis was a relief because for 2 years I thought I was going crazy. I'd get strange symptoms that weren't connected to anything else I was feeling. The doctor would tell me one thing and then something else would happen and he'd say "Well maybe it's this..."

That's why I like House, MD. I think it shows that doctors really don't know everything. They are just human like everyone else. They don't always have the answer.

I'm getting off track here, but while I'm thinking about it, here are a couple of pictures for Relax Max to use next time he writes about Hugh Laurie.

I have the originals, so if you want them to be bigger, just let me know. :-)

----------------
Now playing: Katy Perry - Hot 'N Cold

Now I don't remember what I was saying about Multiple Sclerosis.

...

Ok, I guess that's it.

Bye!
----------------
Now playing: Sara Bareilles - Love Song

If you like my site, Follow or Subscribe NOW

B

ecause I'm getting tired of this Entrecard shit.

First, it was just a way to get more traffic and discover more blogs.

But then they changed something so that you basically had to accept all the ads from all the people who wanted to advertise on your blog.

In the beginning, I was more picky about whom I let advertise on my blog. If you've paid attention at all, you may have noticed that the blogs advertising here now aren't necessarily blogs I subscribe to or even read.

Now they want to start having paid advertisements in the widget and CHARGE THE ENTRECARD USERS if we reject the ad.

...

Besides Entrecard and Spott and other FREE networking shit, do you see any paid ads on my site?

So now they want to penalize me for not having paid advertisers on my site?

Does this make any sense?

*sigh*

I don't like change anyway, but when I get used to something the way it is, I really hate that they change it like that.

I've met some cool people through Entrecard, but I think I might just have to take my chances with having people discover my blog through other blogger's recommendations and Google.

----------------
Now playing: Tears for Fears - Shout

Curves Ahead

A

nother stupid blog quiz.

You Are CURVES AHEAD

When you're confronted with a problem, you take it on immediately - but with your eyes wide open. You deal with stress well. You take things as they come, and you don't panic. In fact, you often enjoy challenging situations. Difficulty makes you feel alive. You are alert and observant. You notice every twist and turn in the road.

What Street Sign Are You?

So the other day Evan wanted to add a "Followers" widget to his blog.

Evan - I have a new follower! Should I thank him?
Me - If you do it for one, you'll have to do it for all of them.
Evan - I wonder when I'll have more followers than you do?
Me - Is this a competition?
Evan - Not until I beat you.

He's funny. :-)

Follow ME...

LOL!
----------------
Now playing: Adele - Chasing Pavements via FoxyTunes

Stolen Meme

I

took this from So Marjienalized. :-)

----------------
Now playing: Beyoncé - Freakum Dress


Seven Things That Scare Me:
1. Never having sex again.
2. Getting Pregnant.
3. Evan getting some whore pregnant.
4. Something bad happening to Evan.
5. Evan growing up and being a bad man.
6. Spiders crawling in my mouth.
7. Spiders.

Seven Things I Like The Most
1. Chocolate
2. Cigarettes
3. Hugh Laurie
4. Books
5. Stuff
6. Thangs
7. Sex

----------------
Now playing: Billy Joel - Allentown

Seven Random Facts About Me
1. I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue
2. My back hurts
3. I
4. don't
5. like
6. open-ended
7. questions!

Seven Important Things In My Bedroom
1. Underwear
2. Clothes
3. Another TV
4. Shoes
5. Vibrator
6. More books
7. Window Air Conditioner because it gets hot upstairs in the summer

----------------
Now playing: The OJays - Backstabbers

Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
1. what
2. ever
3. I
4. don't
5. have
6. a
7. bucket list

Seven Things I Can Do
1. Add RAM to my computer
2. Check the oil in my car.
3. Add air to my tires
4. Cook
5. Blog
6. Complain
7. Other shit

----------------
Now playing: Huey Lewis & The News - If This Is It

Seven Things I Can’t Do
1. Jump (anymore)
2. Drive a stick shift
3. Pilot an airplane
4. Keep my house spotless
5. Put up with the public without taking a xanax
6. Put up with family for more than 1 hour without taking a xanax
7. Go a day without TV

Seven Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex
Their...... (This question is exclusionary, if that's a word. What about homosexuals?)
1. Hands
2. Facial Hair
3. Deep Voices
4. Sense of Humor
5. The fact that I don't have to speak to them every day without them thinking that I'm mad at them.
6. Penises
7. Legs

----------------
Now playing: Fine Young Cannibals - Drives me crazy

Seven Things I Say The Most
1. Oh.
2. I don't care.
3. My back hurts.
4. Shut up.
5. Be quiet.
6. Stop doing that!
7. No.

Took Mommy Dearest out for her B.Day Lunch

I

t's a month late, but February is car insurance month so whatever.

She wanted to go to Western Sizzlin because they have awesome cinnamon rolls there.

I asked her to bring me one (1)

Now playing: Destiny's Child - Bug A Boo

So of course she came back with 4 because they were smaller than usual.

At least, that was her reasoning.

So after she'd eaten 2 she asked me if I was going to eat the last one.
Me - NO! *Staring her down*

So she ate the last one. Then complained about her stomach hurting.

HA!

She always does that. Her eyes are bigger than her stomach. The last time she went, they didn't have the cinnamon rolls, so she's been thinking about them for 3 weeks or something, LOL.

Anyway, here are the High Fives from the last 2 weeks or whatever because I don't want to end up with 50 on Friday.

Now playing: Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl

Russ for Blind Date Gone Bad
Daddy Papersurfer for A Man of Letters
The Artfull Bras Project
----------------
Now playing: Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)


Dadnology for Candy Detox
Skirmisher for David Mach’s “How To Make Matchsticks Cost Thousands Of Dollars”
House is Right for Hugh Laurie Was Master of Ceremonies
Makes You Laugh forWacky Signs
My Random Blog for How To Keep Me From Punching You
Nothing Off Limits for What if Facebook were Real Life?
----------------
Now playing: Rhianna - Rehab

That is all. Enjoy. :-)
----------------
Now playing: Method Man - Even If