Now it's brochitis

Did I tell you I had an ear infection and a sinus infection the week before last? Well now I have bronchitis. Which I will continue to have all winter. Then next spring the sinus infections will start again.

Anyway, a while ago I told my mother that I was watching Season 2 of House on DVD and I saw Foreman's (Omar Epps) HUGE penis. He was walking down the hall with House and I almost choked to death on my water because I hadn't expected the HUGE penis.

Anyway, ever since I told her about it she's been watching and trying to see.

The conversation went something like this:

Mom - What's the big eyed guy on House called?
Me - Foreman
E - Why do you say Foreman is big eyed?
Me - Shhhhh
Mom - Well, you remember what you told me?
Me - Yeah.
E - What? What did you tell her?
Me - Shut up
Mom - Well, I've noticed he always has his coat buttoned up.
E - Who? What coat?
Me - DO YOUR HOMEWORK! I hadn't noticed.
Mom - Uh huh...
E - Who are you talking about? WHAT? House?
Me - BOY! No one is talking to you! Do your homework! Maybe they got a lot of e-mails about it, LOL.

I told her to meet Evan after school because the LAST time I wasn't home from the DR when he got home, he called her anyway. Because he's a suck up. A spoiled suck up.

As soon as I got in the house, she said "Tell your mommy what happened after you got off the bus."

E - Blah blah blah (I wasn't paying attention because I was looking at the directions for the $80 worth of medicine I got at the pharmacy)
Mom - And he just threw his backpack off and I said "Don't back down, Evan!"
Me - O.....K....?
Mom - I should have kept my mouth shut, right?
Me - (I didn't know what the fuck was going on, but I figured a sarcastic response was expected so I said) Yeah! I'm sure I would have handled it much differently.

After she left I asked him what happened again.

Apparently some boy on the bus got up while the bus was in motion because he wanted to sit next to his GF. Evan told him that was a stupid thing to do. So the boy said "Call me stupid again and I'll fight you. I'm not afraid of you!" So Evan threw off his backpack and said "I'm not afraid of you either. Let's go."

But all the other kids saw my mother and started saying "HI!" because they remembered her when she was a substitute or when she drove a bus and everybody went home.

WTFever.

This is the woman who told me (when I was in 1st grade), after I came running home from the bus 3 days in a row, that if I ran from some kid again instead of fighting, she was going to give me a spanking. So I fought 3 kids the next day after school just because the first had his best friend and sister get into it. It only ended when I had the best friend in a headlock and my mother told me from the balcony that I could let him go.

*Sigh*

Must we have a fight EVERY year?

3 strangers

Yesterday on the way to my other home (Wal-mart), I stopped to put some air in my tires. Evan had to go in the gas station to ask for the air hose. He came back out with an old man who proceeded to check all my tires and put air in them. That was nice.

Before he left, he said "You have a really polite son." I said "Thank you!"

Then while we were in the Mart of Wal, one of the csa's told Evan he has really good manners.

Then after we left the store, he was putting all the crap in the trunk (I can't walk and carry at the same time). A lady came up to my window and said "You have a really good boy there, I haven't heard him complain once about helping out."

I KNOW Evan is awesome. I tell him he's awesome. But it's nice when strangers compliment him. I think it's good for his self esteem AND he knows I'm not just blowing smoke up his ass.

:-)

Evan's school bus ride

Yesterday he came home all excited.

E - Some kid on the bus kept messing with me, calling me names and stuff.
A - How old was he?
E - I don't know. I don't care. So then he put his book down on the seat beside me and I knocked it onto the floor. Then my friend Seth picked it up, looked on the inside and saw whose it was so he threw it back on the floor. Then the guy picked it back up and put it on the seat again, so I knocked it off again and he said "Dude, you have some brass testes." Then he asked where I live, so I told him "Such and such apartments, apartment 000" I told him that door because I hate the kid who lives there."

He was so hyped that some older kid told him he had a pair of brass testes. (I doubt the guy said testes, but Evan doesn't say balls. We are both amused by the words testes, testicles, and testicular.)

Hugh Laurie video

Don't be dirty.

I think I'm gonna buy A bit of Fry and Laurie on DVD. All the clips I've seen have been good. :-)

I spent all day

beating Evan's records on Mario Kart. The only one I can't beat is DK mtn. I HATE DK mtn.

But I beat his other records by 8 or 10 seconds. He always takes the long way around. And he gets the lightest cart. Which is great, since he goes way off course, but it sucks for speed.

I'm really proud of myself.

It is my aim to beat him at any and every video game he ever gets. Not having to go to school is AWESOME! LOL.

What do you want for christmas?

E - A dirt bike
Me - No.
E - A BB gun.
Me - No, you'll shoot your eye out, kid.
E - A buttload of money
Me - What's a buttload?
E - A whole bunch
Me - Define what, to you, is a whole bunch of money.
E - $50
Me - Ok
E - *surprised look* Can I ask for more?
Me - You can ask...
E - $100
Me - ok
E - Am I getting that?
Me - You'd rather have a buttload of money that you can't use to buy a bb gun or a dirtbike than some Sigma 6's (GI Joe action figures) and some video games?
E - *Sigh* I don't know.

I just think it's cute that he's still young enough to think that $100 is a lot of money. I mean, it is, but I think last year he got a gamecube and other shit too. The gamecube by itself is $100.

Whatever.

I'm getting off cheap this year.

I can walk a little better

This afternoon I went upstairs.

I noticed I got up there kind of fast (for me).

So then I just walked around my bedroom.

I still have to grab something occasionally to stop myself from falling over, but I kept walking around today. I look like Frankenstein, LOL. But I'M NOT DRAGGING THAT DAMNED WALKER AROUND!!!!!!!!!

I think it's a combo of antibiotics for the ear infection, getting some SLEEP for 3 days in a row, and the weather is cooling off.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Maybe by the time it's cold outside I'll be better. As long as I don't get ANOTHER ear infection. It seems like every other month I have one.

Sometimes I dream that I'm walking better. Then I wake up and realize it's not true. :-(

So pray for me. Or wish for me. Or whatever YOU do.

Thanks.

My Mom's DVR

The guy hooked it up.

When I got there, I saw that her old ass DVD player was in the same compartment as the DVR. There was about 1 inch of clearance around the whole thing. The guy couldn't hook up the DVD player because she has an old ass TV that she refuses to part with and there was only one place to hook shit up to it. (In the back).

So I said "Well, just move all that stuff into another room. The DVD player in your bedroom is better anyway" (it's the some one I have. I hooked it up. That TV is newer too, so all she has to do is put it on the SVID video channel and press play.)

She said "NO! There's only one other place I can put it, and there's a VCR in that room."

Me - You NEED to get rid of the VCR. Replace all the frigging VHS tapes that you never watch with DVDs. You don't need a VCR anymore, you have the DVR to record your soaps and Rev. Fred Price on Sundays.

She - I'm not getting rid of the VCR. It still works.

Me - Because all you do is record crap that you never watch. It's hardly been used in the 15 years you've had it.

She - sticks out her tongue at me.

So the next day she called and said the DVR wasn't working. I went over there. I said "It feels hot. I told you there's not enough space for it in there with the DVD player too. It needs room to breathe."

She - I'm not moving the DVD player. Your brother is going to hook it up for me. I'll just call the cable company and tell them I don't want this.

Me - *Rolling eyes* Ok.

She - Well it's not even working.

Me - BECAUSE IT'S TOO HOT! My DVR is beside the TV. Nothing is on top of it or around it so it has plenty of air cirulating around it. Didn't the guy who hooked it up tell you that if it gets too hot it will shut down?

She - I think I remember something like that.

Me - Just unhook the power cord from the DVR and let it cool off. Go shopping or run errands and when you get home, plug it back in. I'm sure it will be fine.

I left.

She called me about an hour later.

She - I hooked it back up and it's still not working.

Me - IT'S NOT COOLED OFF YET! Don't you have some shit to do today? Go to wal-mart. Have some chinese for lunch. Give the box time to become COLD. I'll come over at 1 pm and hook it back up.

She - Well I put a freaking fan in front of it and took a shower. It had time to cool off.

Me - *nothing*

She - I don't know what time I'll be home.

Me - Well call me when you get home and I'll come over.

She - *Sigh* Ok.

So at 1 o'clock (which is the time I said I'd come over anyway, you'll remember) she called.

I went over. Plugged the power cord back in, and of course it worked. She's put it on a table in front of the TV. *rolling eyes* I told her if she'd just get rid of the damned old ass DVD player she'd have enough room in the entertainment center for the DVR to be without it overheating.

She's such a packrat.

I'll go over there in a year and the DVD player will still be there, not hooked up, because my brother just agrees to do shit and never does it. The DVR will still be on that little table in front of the TV and she'll be complaining about the space it takes up and how she has to vacuum around it.

But will SHE do anything about it?

Will she take my suggestions?

Hell no.

She's a difficult woman.

That's where I got that...

Well my mom came over yesterday.

I told her I had found a lot of Al Green videos on youtube.

I like a lot of his music too, so I didn't mind watching them.

You've got to see this one, though. What the FUCK!!! He looks like a broke pimp. I asked her if he was still sexy after she saw that. Those hot pants, the magenta tank top. LMMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She said, "Now when I hear that song I'll be seeing that clip in my head...."

HA!

We were in Germany during the 70s, so she didn't get to see a lot of the stuff on Soul Train. That's one of the best things about NOT living with my mother. I don't have to hear frigging Soul Train every Saturday and Gospel music every Sunday. WHEEEEE!

Then we watched some Otis Redding. She talked about how big his package was. *shudder*

So I made her watch some Hugh Laurie. :-)

Thank you, all you law breakers!

I've had so much fun watching clips of Hugh Laurie on YouTube.com. Most of them are from the show he did with Stephen Fry back in the UK, but whatever.

I'd never seen THIS CLIP before. I usually don't watch award shows.

Evan Q & A Video

Evan doesn't like me liking Hugh Laurie.

I finally convinced my mom to get DVR.

Because she always wants to rush home to see something.

With the DVR even if she forgets it's coming on, or falls asleep watching the program, or whatever, it will record. She only has an old ass VCR.

Gotta go.

The phone is ringing. I'm going over to show her how to use it. :-)

Went to the dr today

For the LIST of shit that's been going on with me.

Sinus infection
Ear infection
Leg pain
Sleeplessness
Changing my anti-depressant.

The DR wasn't there, just that anorexic nurse practitioner so no pain meds. She told me I definitely need to see the dr after I told her all of the things that I've tried to start getting some sleep & for the pain in my calves.

She gave me samples of a medicine that the PATIENTS have said is worse than Ambien.

LMAO!

I took one about an hour ago.

Here I still is.

Tonight on House they were saying that when a muscle atrophies, you get pain.

I think that's what's happening to my legs. I had been thinking that for a few weeks...

I guess it's time for an MRI.

I have to shake the dew off my lily.

Night.

Pig

So Evan and I went to the Dollar Store to get some toilet bowl cleaner because all the handicapped spaces were taken at wal-mart. I knew there wouldn't be an electric cart. I have a long list of shit to get and all of it is in different areas of the store. I didn't want to work that hard pushing my wheeled walker.

So we get in da dolla sto and I see my ex-uncle. He didn't know I had MS so he asked what was wrong and all that shit.

This is the uncle who shot my aunt - she's related by blood - because after he'd cheated on her for 20 years she finally got fed up and divorced him and she started dating. He didn't like that. So he shot her. He's been in jail for a few years.

Anyway, then he introduced me to some guy. He lives across the street from my mother apparently. I've never seen him before. Anyway, he said everbody calls him Bird except my grandmother. She calls him Pig. Has since he was a kid. She told him she's not changing now!

Anyway, he started telling me about how he painted my mother's storage shed (he called it the little house behind the big house) and my grandmother's gutters. Then he said my grandmother wants him to put up some motion sensor lights in her front yard but he can't because they keep changing his shift at work. Sometimes 6 to six in the morning, sometimes nights. He likes nights better because he doesn't have to be bothered with anybody like in the daytime. Except when he's having lunch. He likes to heat up his lunch and go back to his desk. But the people in the break room always say "Bird, why don't you sit down with us?". But he tells them he wants to get back to work. Staying busy makes the shift go faster. All those other people like to waste time and take multiple smoke breaks. But he's down to 2 cigarettes a day. He shouldn't have started again. He had quit for five years. But everybody else smokes so he started back. He was supposed to be at work today. But they changed his shift AGAIN because the night guy got fired.

*gasp*

All this time I'm standing there practically having a seizure standing up because my legs start to shake when I stand up too long.

I kept thinking "When is he going to shut up? I don't even know this motherfucker!"

OH!

He said if he sits still too long he'll go to sleep. And get fired. He'd rather quit than get fired. Other people say it's worser to quit, but he thinks it's worser to get fired.

Why do people always tell me their life story? I thought I had the "leave me the fuck alone" look down to a science. I guess not. I guess I look like a good listener. Or whatever.

The only reason I wasn't rude is because he knows my ex-uncle. In spite of the shit he did to my aunt, I always remember him being fun and a good guy when I was younger...

My landlord quit today

Out of the blue.

That SUCKS!

The one before her was an ass.

I hope the new one is decent.

But I need to move anyway...

Evan Q & A Video

He's hot. And he knows it.

The Video

Evan and I had a q & A today

It will take me 3 weeks to upload the videos. They're webcam so it's poor quality, but anyway.

Then we went to Nana's house.

She started talking about her imaginary bf.

Evan said "I want to meet him. And when I do, I'm going to kick him in the nuts."

Nana - Why do you get so upset when I talk about my bf?
E - I don't want to think about you doing anybody.
Nana - Doing what?
E - *Sigh* When a mommy and daddy love each other very much...
All of us - LOL

He was in a rare mood today.

I'm never going to have sex again

I have to come to terms with that.

I have relapsing/remitting multiple sclerosis. Which means that shit happens (like I go blind in one eye) but then it gets better.

I've been using a walker for several months. I finally broke down and got one with wheels and a seat.

That's not sexy.

I had to cut all my hair off because I can't stand up long enough to wash it in the shower anymore, and if I get on my knees to wash it in the tub like I had been doing, I can't get up. It takes - it took over an hour to blow dry it. I couldn't do it anymore. So I cut it off.

2 things I always like about myself were my hair and my walk. I had a lot of hair. I mean, I would occasionally cut it off just because I was tired of the maintenance, but it was a CHOICE. I didn't feel like I had a choice about this. At least with no hair it can't look bad, LOL.

I never saw my walk, but I got a lot of comments about it. :-)

Have you ever seen somebody with a walker made you think "Damn. I've GOT to get some of that?"

No.

I guess the bottom line is that I don't feel confident anymore.

Same face. Pretty much the same brain. Different expression behind the eyes.

I have to walk with my head down now because I'm looking for anything that might make me trip.

That FEELS insecure. I'm sure it looks insecure too. That's not sexy.

That is all.

TV shows I watch

Nip/Tuck
Ok.

NOBODY BELIEVES THAT CHRISTIAN TROY IS A HOMO!!!!!!!!!!

Brooke Shields guest starred as a psychiatrist that Christian saw and told him maybe the reason he can't be happy in a relationship with a woman is because he's already in a relationship with Sean. No Christian is all paranoid that he's a homo. (His son with Sean's wife was having sex - unknowingly - with a transsexual.)

Julia's baby is going to have some birth defect.

What else?

Larry Hagman guest starred as a man who had testicular cancer and the fake nuts they gave him weren't big enough. He wanted Kiwi sized nuts.

Um...

I have to admit that I haven't really inspected the nuts of the men I've been with, but nut size never mattered to me.

I just posted this at JJHF:

Last night on Nip/Tuck, Larry Hagman wanted Kiwi sized nuts.

Is this REALLY an issue for men? How big your nuts are???

Do any women care about this?

I mean, I guess you can equate it to breast size. Some women feel more feminine with bigger boobs. They don't feel sexy after a mastectomy.

I don't care about nut size.

Girth.

That's what I care about...

Big Brother

Janelle has been pissing me off all season, but she finally made a good move last night when she voted Will out. Boogie is PISSED, LMAO. GOOD! Fucker. That's all.

What else did I watch? I don't remember.

TV - House

House season premier.

Funny!

And it pissed me off.

It was funny because House was running around doing all kinds of physical comedy that he can't do with the cane (unless it's actually hitting wilson with the cane).

It's nice to see new episodes. I have my favs from seasons 1 & 2 but ... newness is good too. :-)

It pissed me off because at the end of the episode, House had cured a man who was paraplegic for 8 years or some shit and Wilson convinced Cuddy not to tell House. He said "He was lucky this time. Next time he'll kill somebody."

Earlier in the episode, House told Cuddy "This is the first time in 5 years I haven't been on narcotics and NOW you question my judgement?"

It's true. WTF. He's done a lot of crazy shit. They never did anything.

Now that he's drug free they want to NOT let him know that he's still a great doctor??

At the end, he broke into Wilson's office and forged a prescription for vicodin. I blame wilson for House's upcoming relapse into drug use. He told wilson that his leg hurt, wilson wouldn't give him a prescription. Now he's going to find out that wilson and cuddy didn't tell him about the guy he healed and he's going to feel like he can't trust anybody. Fucking anorexic looking Cameron doesn't want him anymore. He sent the love of his life away to live with her crippled husband. He's all alone. So he's going to be alone with his vicodin. And trouble ensues.

How the hell do cuddy and wilson expect to keep House from finding out about "Steven Hawking"s miraculous recovery? The guy's been in a wheelchair for 8 years. He's going to need physical therapy. Why wouldn't he come back to the hospital that got him out of that cursed chair for PT?? Are they really so stupid to think that House will never find out? I wonder if he'll also find out that it was Wilson's idea to challenge House to give up the vicodin for one week (that episode was called "Detox", I don't remember which season.)

I hate wilson. Cuddy is a wimp. I don't know how she became the most important person on that hospital's staff. Cameron has always pissed me off with her heart all over her fucking sleeve. Chase is a suck up. Foreman is a House wannabe.

I hate them all, LOL. Fuckers.

I want Stacy to come back.

But House can't be happy in a relationship with anybody because that will mean the end of the series.

When Max & Kyle got together on Living Single, that was the beginning of the end of that show. When Monica and Chandler got together on Friends, it wasn't long before the show ended.

Therefore, no love for House = long running show.
Happy relationship, no cane, no addiction = Series Finale.

That is all.

I hope House beats Wilson with his cane when he finds out what the little fucker has been doing behind his back.

I guess that wasn't all...

HOUSE PREMIERES TONIGHT!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

That's all.

Paul Thorn - Ain't love strange

Just listening to his lyrics I find he has a sense of humor that appeals to me. On Rick n Bubba he...well, they are very vocal about their christianity but they don't shove it down your throat. Most of the musical guests they have are christian artists, but Paul Thorn is not your typical christian artist, LOL.

Probably why I like him. I mean besides his voice. And the fact that he looks like the rednecks I like to turn out...

Ain't Love Strange

Down at Donnie's strip club

They all know my name

I can't get a woman

So I sit beside the stage

I think Heather really likes me

As she wiggles in my face

Takes my forty dollars

Turns and walks away

Ain't love strange

They honeymooned a week or two

Until the thrill was gone

Now down the street those newlyweds

Been fighting all night long

Through a hail of flying dishes

The police finally came

They hauled 'em off in separate cars

With cuff and ankle chains

Ain't love strange

Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange

Ain't love strange

Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange

Ain't love strange

Two gay nympho Quakers

On the Jerry Springer show

Came strutting out in lingerie

To let their family know

Their daddy lost his temper

When they walked out on the stage

Their mama said, "I love my sons,

No matter how they've changed"

Ain't love strange

Ten roosters in the barnyard

And just one little hen

They jockey for position

By cock-a-doodle-in'

They flap their wings

And strut around

Sometimes they fight all day

Those fresh eggs ain't the only thing

That's needing to get laid

Ain't love strange

Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange

Ain't love strange

Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange

Ain't love strange

Now God and mama

Will love you unconditionally

Your woman will love you

If you're faithful

Your dog will love you

If you throw him a bone

The devil will love you

If you sin

Your children will love you

If you buy them some candy

And I will love you

If you put on that

Blue and white polka-dot miniskirt

With black stiletto heels

And just let me sit back

And watch you do an interpretive dance

To this little groove I got going, one, two

Ain't love strange

Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange

Ain't love strange

Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange

Ain't love strange

I can't figure it

Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange

Ain't love strange

Ain't love stra-a-a-a-a-a-ange

Crushes

So Evan, my mother and I went to cracker barrel. I was telling her about OK Go's performance on the VMAs. Then I said to Evan "Oh, the rock was on there, he had hair. He looked good."

Evan said he didn't remember what he looked like with hair and I told him I have some pics on the pc and I'd show him when we get home & I told my mother she could see OK Go because I had it on DVR.

The entire time we were at the restaurant, girls kept checking Evan out. They always do. Which is why I'm not getting a phone until he goes to college. I remember all those sluts calling my brother 20 times a day when he was in HS.

Anyway, when we got home my mother came in to watch OK Go.

She was sitting down, Evan ran downstairs with all of the crap he was taking to Nana's house and got the remote.

Mom - Who is this?
Me - Ok Go
Evan - This is really cool!
Mom - Yes, but who is it?
Me - OK GO
Mom - OH! I thought you were telling him to go ahead an play it.

Anyway, after we watched that, I told Evan "Here's a pic of The Rock with hair."




E - I thought you were all about House now (Said with that tone that only 10 year olds and teenagers can manage)
Me - I was just showing you what he looks like with hair.
Mom - You like House? (Looking at the pic of The Rock) I've never said HE wasn't good looking.
Me - I know. He's purty (The Rock) I like the character House and I like Hugh Laurie. He's very talented. And SEXXXAY
Mom - Ew
E - She likes his turkey neck
Me - It's NOT A TURKEY NECK. IT'S A BIG ADAM'S APPLE, WHICH IS WHY HE HAS SUCH A DEEP VOICE.
Mom - He's ugly.
Me - He's hottttttttttttt.
Mom - Don't ever talk about me again.
Me - Al green is not sexy
Mom - He's not ugly.
Evan - I think house looks old enough to be YOUR dad. He's old.
Me - Both of y'all can get out of my house now.

So, they left.

People who disparage HUGH are not welcome in my house.

:-)