Thursday, September 28, 2006

Now it's brochitis

Did I tell you I had an ear infection and a sinus infection the week before last? Well now I have bronchitis. Which I will continue to have all winter. Then next spring the sinus infections will start again.

Anyway, a while ago I told my mother that I was watching Season 2 of House on DVD and I saw Foreman's (Omar Epps) HUGE penis. He was walking down the hall with House and I almost choked to death on my water because I hadn't expected the HUGE penis.

Anyway, ever since I told her about it she's been watching and trying to see.

The conversation went something like this:

Mom - What's the big eyed guy on House called?
Me - Foreman
E - Why do you say Foreman is big eyed?
Me - Shhhhh
Mom - Well, you remember what you told me?
Me - Yeah.
E - What? What did you tell her?
Me - Shut up
Mom - Well, I've noticed he always has his coat buttoned up.
E - Who? What coat?
Me - DO YOUR HOMEWORK! I hadn't noticed.
Mom - Uh huh...
E - Who are you talking about? WHAT? House?
Me - BOY! No one is talking to you! Do your homework! Maybe they got a lot of e-mails about it, LOL.

I told her to meet Evan after school because the LAST time I wasn't home from the DR when he got home, he called her anyway. Because he's a suck up. A spoiled suck up.

As soon as I got in the house, she said "Tell your mommy what happened after you got off the bus."

E - Blah blah blah (I wasn't paying attention because I was looking at the directions for the $80 worth of medicine I got at the pharmacy)
Mom - And he just threw his backpack off and I said "Don't back down, Evan!"
Me - O.....K....?
Mom - I should have kept my mouth shut, right?
Me - (I didn't know what the fuck was going on, but I figured a sarcastic response was expected so I said) Yeah! I'm sure I would have handled it much differently.

After she left I asked him what happened again.

Apparently some boy on the bus got up while the bus was in motion because he wanted to sit next to his GF. Evan told him that was a stupid thing to do. So the boy said "Call me stupid again and I'll fight you. I'm not afraid of you!" So Evan threw off his backpack and said "I'm not afraid of you either. Let's go."

But all the other kids saw my mother and started saying "HI!" because they remembered her when she was a substitute or when she drove a bus and everybody went home.

WTFever.

This is the woman who told me (when I was in 1st grade), after I came running home from the bus 3 days in a row, that if I ran from some kid again instead of fighting, she was going to give me a spanking. So I fought 3 kids the next day after school just because the first had his best friend and sister get into it. It only ended when I had the best friend in a headlock and my mother told me from the balcony that I could let him go.

*Sigh*

Must we have a fight EVERY year?

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