Thank you, Spam!

F

irst of all, thank you Pookie for sending me that email. Where is your blog, BTW? Do you use Twitter? Just trying to throw some Link Love your way. ;-)

So, I got a chain letter e-mail from Pookie (AKA Aria) & I guess I was in a good mood or something because I actually forwarded it.

......

It said to forward it to 10 people & I'd get a blessing within 24 hours. So I sent it along to some people. (I never forward those things to the # of people suggested, mainly because I don't want that many people having my e-mail. I can't imagine that amt of spam! I have one e-mail that I'll give to anyone & the other one for friends and family. So if you haven't heard from me 4 months after you sent me an e-mail, guess which address you have...

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Now playing: OJays - Money, Money, Money

Anyway, I just stopped by to post this screen cap of this exchange between my BFF's daughter & myself.



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Now playing: Dave Brubeck Quartet - Take Five

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Now playing: 50 Cent - 21 Questions (Featuring Nate D

What Dreams did you have?

F

irst, a little catch-up.

My left hand is feeling almost normal.
My Right hand still has a little of the pins & needles & numbness going on.
I think I've forgotten how to type.
My Bell's Palsy is GONE thank the Lord.
My feet STAY swollen even if I keep my feet propped up above my heart all day.
Finished ALL of my school shopping TAX-FREE in 2 days.
I think that's it?

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Now playing: Commodores - Brick House

Anyway, my question is: What dreams did you have for your child pre-parenthood that you don't have now that you "know" your child/children?

I never intended or expected to have any children. (God had other plans, LOL.)

Anyway, when I was pregnant I had been going to weekly therapy & taking anti-depressants. (I stopped all meds when I found out I was knocked up)

But once I decided to keep the baby I started really wondering why I (a person with NO maternal instincts or even babysitting experience) was pregnant.

My pregnancy was physical hell, not to mention the fact that I was unmarried, mentally fucked up, and basically Ramen Noodle Poor.

I started wondering why God had put me in this situation. I thought my baby might grow up to be the First Black President (Thanks, Obama...), or that he might discover the cure for cancer, or something really amazing.

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Now playing: Snoop Dogg - I Wanna Rock

That's what kept me going when I came home to an empty house & fridge.

Then I met my baby.

He was THE most perfect baby in the world & his first few years (up till school started) more than made up for my hellish pregnancy.

I still had Presidential/Nobel Award Winner aspirations for him.

He saved my life too. Literally. I knew I had to stay alive to make sure he grew up as a well-adjusted & contributing member of society. I knew it was MY PURPOSE to raise this child.

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Now playing: Michael Trembello - She-s a maniac

Anyway...

Now?

HA!

Don't get me wrong, I love Evan to pieces even when I want to smack the shit out of him. Or choke him. Or run away. Or send him away until he's 25ish.

I just don't have those lofty goals in my head for him.

I just want him to stay alive until he's at least 18. I don't want him to have any drug/alcohol problems. I don't want him knocking up some WHORE. I want him to gradute. I want him to go to college or pick a career that he loves. AND I don't want him to eat me out of house & home.


That's not too much to ask, right? ;-)
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Now playing: Fantasia - Baby Makin' Hips

My Left Hand

F

irst, my fingers are numb so it's very hard to type. I'm a hunt & pecker these days so I get tired of typing way before I've run out of things to say.

I have an appt with a new neurologist tomorrow & hopefully he can halp me with my current problem which is I can't grip a pen with my left hand well enough to write.

My hand, meanwhile is curling up on its own so if I don't relapse soon, I'll be carrying a pen or something in my hand constantly & look like Bob Dole. :-(

Maybe I'll get Evan to type this 4 me? I'm already frustrated.

Ta!

The Lazy Song - Bruno Mars

I

just happened to see this video last night @ some point during my melatonin induced sleep. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. :-)

I look 25?

Saturday I had gone to Wal-mart & then stopped by my mother's house. I was wearing a wig because I chopped all my hair off & sometimes I don't feel like wearing a bandanna.

So I come home & park my car & my neighbor says "I like your hair! With those bangs you look like you're 25."

I said thanks, but launched into my whole "It's a wig" speech.

Why do I do that?

I think part of it is just because I don't want to be ANYTHING like Mommy Dearest so I see no reason to hide the fact that I'm wearing a wig.

Another part is verbal diarrhea.

That is all. :-)

You have no idea how fast you

A

ctually lose muscle tone unless you are forced (by circumstance of disease) stay in the gee dee bed all gee dee day for an effing month.

I found out yesterday.

I actually can't remember when all this shit happened. I tried to go through my blog history & find out but DUR, I was off the pc for about a month after I first fell, so I have no idea.

I'll guess around the 15th of March?

Whatever. What was I saying?

Ok, yesterday we went to get Evan's "Driving Laws" book or whatever so that he can study & get his permit. It's about 30 miles away one way. So I called MD Thursday night to ask if she wanted to go because I had said last month I'd get her something from that town.

Anyway, whenever I plan to go anywhere with MD, it NEVER FAILS that I a) Feel like shit the next day or 2) Don't sleep at all. So I didn't sleep at all. I didn't care.

I lost last month's (March) meds because I took all the shit off my bed to wash not only the sheets but the egg crate thingees that I have on there. Anyway, I just pulled all the shit off instead of moving the stuff in an orderly (logical) way because I was tired. So I haven't had my xanax since I lost it. (Which is probably why I can't fucking sleep) I did have my Anti depressant (YAY!) because I switched from the effed up one (the one that, IMO, caused my current exacerbation) to my usual one this month again.

So

After having no sleep for at least 24 hours, I drove 30 miles.

Then we went to Unclaimed Baggage and I swear to God I had to rest every 15 steps or whatever. I mean, I knew I was having trouble getting up the stairs but that could be because my damned "normal" knee is fucked up now & I can't straighten it all the way.

Whatever. The good news us that I found some eyeglass frames for $5 so after paying Wal-mart for a new prescription I can get them to put the new prescription in the new (to me) frames for about $20 instead of spending $200+ to buy all new glasses that I'll have forever.

Seriously, if I hadn't knocked the nose guards off these glasses falling down the damned stairs I probably wouldn't get my eyes checked. I've had these glasses since 2004. I really don't think my eyes have changed that much...

Whatever. I was so tired by the time we left UB that I didn't even care when Mommy Dearest suggested we go to eat @ Western Sizzlin.

So we went there, where I proceeded to get all the way back to the table before dropping my tartar sauce (which is the only thing I could carry & still move my walker). Evan had already followed me along the hot bar, gotten my plate & taken it back to the table by then. Our waitress volunteered to go get me some more. She filled up an entire dessert bowl with tartar sauce?? Mkay...

Then we went to Wal-Mart in that town because it's cheaper. Unfortunately, I forgot about last week's tornadoes in that town which apparently caused everyone to go shopping for charity (or whatever) & Wal-Mart had half the food & shit they normally have. I mean, it's still plenty for US, but it just looked so bare.

Blah blah.

Then we drove home (another 30 miles) and I borrowed some xanax from MD.

I took one dose, which knocked me the eff out. I woke up @ 6 pm.

Don't remember when I fell asleep again, woke up @ 3 am, Evan came downstairs to get on the computer & show me his new headphones @ 3:30 am. He (apparently) traded with that boy (the one that traded Evan the bike & then traded it again to get the bike back & ended up giving Evan a lava lamp & a video camera for the damned bike that he originally traded to Evan the 1st time) again and he ended up with a 30 lb weight & some good ass headphones. I mean, they sound great on the iPod. Unfortunately, we can't tell what brand they are. :-(.

So, yeah. After listening to a few songs on the iPod I fell asleep again & woke up @ 9 am this morning.

Yay.

As long as I can stay up til at least 9 pm today, I should be able to get to sleep tonight & all NIGHTS until Wednesday when I can finally order some more xanax from the pharmacy & build up a tolerance to it again, LOL.

That is ALL!

Ta!

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Now playing: Lady GaGa - Judas

Love this song!

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Now playing: snoop dogg - sensual seduction

Rock Mafia - The Big Bang

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Now playing: Rock Mafia Ft. Miley Cyrus - The Big Bang

Now I have the droopy face???

S

eriously???