God's Dad, African Men & Pineapple

Questions for YOU to answer:

1. Why do men think that showing us your junk turns us on? As @JoKoy has said, the penis looks like an afterthought in comparison to the vagina. It's looks like a drunk dude who can't stand up straight...
2. What's the funniest thing you've heard a kid say?

3. Are ALL African (from AFRICA) men assholes?
4. What do you think about online dating? Ever done it? Would you? Why or why not?

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Random Questions Meme

Here are the questions:
1. What is your favorite movie?
2. What is your favorite book?
3. What is your favorite TV show?
4. What is your favorite number?
5. What is your favorite day of the week?
6. What is your favorite food?
7. What is your favorite pop?
8. What is your favorite drink?
9. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
10. What is your favorite country?
11. What is your favorite style?
12. What is your favorite city?
13. What is your favorite MK and A movie?
14. What is your favorite makeup item?
15. What is your favorite clothing item?
16. What is your favorite type of shoe?
17. What is your favorite Disney movie?
18. What is your favorite designer?
19. What is your favorite Disney princess?
20. What is your favorite purse brand?
21. What is your favorite school subject?
22. What is your favorite school?
23. What is your favorite sport?
24. What is your favorite reality show?
25. Who is your favorite actor?
26. What is your favorite color?
27. Who is your favorite actress?
28. What is your favorite magazine?
29. What is your favorite month?
30. What is your favorite vacation spot?
31. What is your favorite sports team?
32. What is your favorite book in Twilight series?
33. What is your favorite season?
34. What is your favorite store?
35. What is your favorite makeup brand?
36. Who is your favorite singer?
37. Who is your favorite celebrity?
38. What is your favorite holiday?
39. What is your favorite website?
40. What is your favorite online store to shop at?
41. What is your favorite animal?
42. What is your favorite great lake?

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Angelika's Question OTD - December 22, 2011

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What Dreams did you have?

F

irst, a little catch-up.

My left hand is feeling almost normal.
My Right hand still has a little of the pins & needles & numbness going on.
I think I've forgotten how to type.
My Bell's Palsy is GONE thank the Lord.
My feet STAY swollen even if I keep my feet propped up above my heart all day.
Finished ALL of my school shopping TAX-FREE in 2 days.
I think that's it?

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Now playing: Commodores - Brick House

Anyway, my question is: What dreams did you have for your child pre-parenthood that you don't have now that you "know" your child/children?

I never intended or expected to have any children. (God had other plans, LOL.)

Anyway, when I was pregnant I had been going to weekly therapy & taking anti-depressants. (I stopped all meds when I found out I was knocked up)

But once I decided to keep the baby I started really wondering why I (a person with NO maternal instincts or even babysitting experience) was pregnant.

My pregnancy was physical hell, not to mention the fact that I was unmarried, mentally fucked up, and basically Ramen Noodle Poor.

I started wondering why God had put me in this situation. I thought my baby might grow up to be the First Black President (Thanks, Obama...), or that he might discover the cure for cancer, or something really amazing.

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Now playing: Snoop Dogg - I Wanna Rock

That's what kept me going when I came home to an empty house & fridge.

Then I met my baby.

He was THE most perfect baby in the world & his first few years (up till school started) more than made up for my hellish pregnancy.

I still had Presidential/Nobel Award Winner aspirations for him.

He saved my life too. Literally. I knew I had to stay alive to make sure he grew up as a well-adjusted & contributing member of society. I knew it was MY PURPOSE to raise this child.

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Now playing: Michael Trembello - She-s a maniac

Anyway...

Now?

HA!

Don't get me wrong, I love Evan to pieces even when I want to smack the shit out of him. Or choke him. Or run away. Or send him away until he's 25ish.

I just don't have those lofty goals in my head for him.

I just want him to stay alive until he's at least 18. I don't want him to have any drug/alcohol problems. I don't want him knocking up some WHORE. I want him to gradute. I want him to go to college or pick a career that he loves. AND I don't want him to eat me out of house & home.


That's not too much to ask, right? ;-)
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Now playing: Fantasia - Baby Makin' Hips

An interactive post!

T

oday I feel like asking YOU some questions and finding out your answers: you may answer in the comments or post to your own blog & leave the link. My answers are in italics.

1. Do you care about The Royals as much as I do (i.e. not at all)?

Not at all. I'm not in England, Prince William's impending marriage will not affect me. Although he is a fine looking boy, even with the hair loss, LOL.

2. Women: If you HAD to, who would you kill, marry, or have sex with? Ellen Degeneres, Angelina Jolie, Heidi Montag?

I would happily kill Heidi Montag just so I don't ever have to hear from her or her prat of a man. I would have sex with Angelina because I think she'd be wild in bed. I'd marry Ellen because she has gorgeous eyes and I think she'd keep me laughing.





3. Men: If you HAD to, who would you kill, marry, or have sex with? Hugh Jackman, Russell Brand, Justin Bieber?

I would like for Justine Bieber to disappear from the world and from my memory. Why do I have to see his fucking face and Dorothy Hamill haircut every time I enter Wal-Mart? This is as bad as the damned Miley Cyrus phase a couple of years ago. OMG, I'm getting old. I would DO Russell Brand for the same reason I'd do Angelina Jolie. I'd marry Hugh Jackman. Yummmmmmmmm.





4. Do you, as a rule, like Musicals? (Sound of Music, Glee)

No. The only exception for movies is The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I've never seen an episode of Glee, but I did see the clip where the football team did "Single Ladies" on the field. That was funny. The whole premise of a bunch of people breaking into song with choreography is insane.



5. What's your favorite decade & why?

The 80s. Duh. It's when I became a teenager. I love the music. I'm not even mad at the miniskirts and florescent colors, which I wore with the best of them! :-)


6. What's your favorite cuss word?

Fuck. I like to say it and do it. You can say (and do) it in so many ways too: Sympathy - Fuck, man. Anger - Fuck you, assmunch! Love - I love the fucking shit out of you, man. Confusion - What the fuck? Amusement - Fucking hilarious!

7. What is your favorite type of pie?

Depends on the day. I just recently discovered Key Lime gum. I'm hoping this will stave off my cravings for the actual pie...

8. Do you have any pets? If so, what kind and what are the names?

No

9. Do you read tabloid magazines or blogs, if so how often? (The Enquirer, Perez Hilton)

Not on a regular basis. I think they're all full of shit, but depending on how bored I am or how few of my friends are online, I will watch an episode of TMZ or read Perez Hilton.


That is all. :-)

Dear Male Readers

I

f a woman asks you what kind of cologne you're wearing, what do you think?

Because yesterday at Wal-Mart I asked the Silver Fox @ the door what kind of cologne he wore.

I thought it smelled good and wanted to get it for Evan for Christmas.

Apparently, the men at JJHF think that if a woman asks what cologne you're wearing, it means she wants to have sex with you.

The women think that the men are thinking that, so they don't ask.

In case you're wondering, I totally would have done "Old Guy". He was hot for a senior citizen. But I wasn't actually thinking that. I did tell him that he smelled good, though.

:-)