Hugh Laurie hosted SNL yesterday!

And the show still sucked.

I told you ABOFAL was better than SNL. They should have let Hugh write the sketches, it might have been funny then.

Anyway

I got "The Gun Seller" yesterday. After I read it I will write a review.

But I have to finish "The Husband" by Dean Koontz first. :-)

Guess who's back in town.

My SIL.

She stayed away just long enough to fuck up my Niece's Senior Year.

My SIL is a fucking pimhole.

Derek Nippl-e

Watch this.

Well I've finished watching ABOFAL

And

Um

Hugh Laurie has gotten sexier to me.

Yeah.

I thought he looked kinda goofy in his younger days.



And he makes A LOT of goofy faces, does a lot of crazy voices, and basically is not above making a fool of himself.

So he's sexier.

GOD!

I appreciate his talent more NOW that I've seen something besides "House". Stephen Fry too. (I've only seen him in "V for Vendetta")

Help me.

Or I'll have to move to England and find a goofy, gawky looking old man...

Heh.

Childhood

Sometimes I think about blogging/writing about my childhood.

I think well while I'm writing. And I usually understand things after I go back and read it. Or I realize something that I've never thought of before.

But I never do.

I had a crappy childhood.

I wonder if I don't write about it because I don't WANT to remember. I've blocked most of my childhood out. Don't miss the memories, either.

Family members tell me about shit that I did or said.

The reason I want to do it is because I think it might be a sort of purge for me.

I hate my mother.

I tolerate her because of Evan.

But maybe I could come to peace with her in my own mind if I analyzed it all.

One of the things SHE does is remember shit the way she wants to remember it.

Like once when I was 19, my car broke down. I was 50 miles from home. I had to call my brother to come pick me up.

When I got home, my mother started saying shit like "Have you thanked your brother for picking you up?" and "He took his time and used his gas to come get you." This went on for about an hour. I was tired and pissed about my car and I'd had enough of her mouth.

I said "I gave him some fucking gas money! What more do you want??"

My brother said "Hey!" because I cussed in front of my mother.

That was all that happened.

SHE remembers that my brother jumped up and threatened to hurt me if I ever spoke to her like that again.

I've tried to tell her what actually happened. I finally said "You remember stuff in a way that makes you feel good, or look good to other people. It DID NOT happen that way. But if that's the way you want to remember it, fine. I don't give a shit."

This was about 10 years after the incident that she brought it up.

WHY?

What purpose did it serve?

But that's the kind of shit she does.

Like she always used to talk bad to me about my SIL. My SIL was raised on welfare. Had food stamps. Obviously, it wasn't HER fault. But my mother didn't like that. She said my SIL wasn't good enough for my brother. Also, my brother spoke like me until he met my SIL. He started getting ghetto with the dialect when he started dating her.

Anyway, my mother would say shit like my SIL stank, and that she never washed my niece's clothes or gave her a bath. So she'd get my niece to spend the night so she could bathe her, wash her hair & wash her clothes.

I don't know how we got on it, but once my SIL was talking about my mother, so I told her ALL the shit my mother said about her. (My mother does the same thing in regards to my BIL. He's white. She could rant for hours about that.) My SIL said she knew how my mother was because she'd heard the stories from my brother.

Anyway, a few weeks or months later my mother called all of us over to her house and said she wanted to talk about her will.

Then she proceeded to tell my SIL & brother that I was crazy (I wasn't). I was seeing a shrink (I was). And that they shouldn't believe anything that I said because I may or may not have taken my medication that day. (!!!!)

I told my mother everying I'd told my SIL about what my mother said behind her back. She denied it all. She said I was making it up. (boy is that a run-on sentence. Does it make sense?? I'll try to explain it better.)

Me - I've told SIL the stuff you say about her
MommyDearest - What do I say?
Me - That she stinks
MD - That's a lie. I only said she smells like cigarettes.
Me - That she doesn't take care of NIECE's hair. That she doesn't bathe her. That she doesn't wash her clothes well enough. That's why you always give NIECE a bath whenever she comes over here, and you wash her clothes. It's like you're saying "This is how you take care of a child" without actually saying the words. It's insulting to SIL. She is the mother of your grandchild. You shouldn't be so two faced. Smiling in SIL's face and then talking about her as soon as she leaves.
MD - (something which was supposed to make me look like a crazy liar"

My SIL said "It's ok. I know the deal. Your brother knows the deal. But your mother doesn't realize that your brother and I ARE getting married, we'll ALWAYS be together and there's nothing she can do about it."

So me, my brother and my SIL were STILL fine after that "meeting". At which, btw, the will was never discussed.

OMG.

Like my mother talks about EVERYBODY behind their back. She says to me "Don't tell anybody" Like I give a shit. She's such a gossip. But the thing is, if she talks about people like that to me, she's talking about me to people. That's why I never tell her anything.

And that's why I don't trust a lot of people.

If your MOTHER does everything in her power to make you feel like everyone is a liar, everybody wants something from you, you can't depend on anybody else for anything, you believe it. I heard that shit for 19 years.

The good thing: Because of her, I tell the truth. If I don't want to tell the truth, I don't answer.
Because of her, I don't ask people for help or "things". I try to be generous. I don't want to be a scrooge like her. Or a person who always reminds friends about the shit I've done for them. I try to be self reliant, and do everything myself. I don't gossip about people I know. (only celebrities, LOL.)

The bad thing about the good things: I never used to ask for help when I needed it. I didn't want to feel indebted. I didn't want to be reminded CONSTANTLY that someone helped me out. But it's something I've learned since my MS got bad. 99% of people will help you if you ask for help. 75% of people offer help before you ask for it. I'm learning that I don't HAVE to do everything myself.

There are so many more things I could tell you.

But I feel my blood pressure rising.

Plus I think this is a long ass blog...

Heh.

I was wrong

About ABOFAL.

This morning I put disc 2 in, and it had the "play all" option.

Evan told me that disc 1 does too, but I was on "episode selection".

HA!

The thing that sucks about ABOFAL.

With the House dvds, I have the option of "play all". So that's what I select before I set the dvd to repeat.

This one doesn't.

WTF is wrong with British DVD makers. Or whatever the correct term is. You have to select an episode. Each one is only 30 minutes long. So I wake up every 30 minutes when the ridiculous theme song comes on.

And I fell asleep trying to watch the rest of disc 1. Still haven't finished it.

Ta!

Last night's blog which wouldn't post last night.

OMG.

I typed the title and hit enter.

It posted this, LOL.

I'm currently editing the post that had nothing but a title...

Anyway.

I got ABOFAL today!!!!!!

I'm SO glad it's funny! WHEEEEEEEEE. I was worried that the best bits are on youtube and I'd be getting a bunch of crappy skits. Like SNL is mostly crap these days, and once in a blue moon something is funny. Laugh out loud funny.

But ABOFAL is CLEVER. I love that!

I guess it's kind of adult humor? I don't know. Evan watched a part of one disc with me and he only laughed at the physical humor. He kept asking me "Why is that funny?" I had to pause it to explain. I will watch the rest when he's a school or asleep because I HATE people talking while I try to watch TV or movies. That's why I LOVE tivo. Because I can pause and rewind. I missed so much tv before Tivo. I used to have Evan trained and he'd only talk during commercials. But that was pre school. (I mean before he started going to school, not when he was pre school age.)

Where was I?

Since I had a busy morning, I was falling asleep during the first disc. I think I saw 2 1/2 episodes before I decided to turn it off. Then I woke up, of course.

I only have the narcoleptic urge to fall asleep when I want to stay awake. When I want to sleep... wide awake.

I think I'll watch the rest of it now.

Maybe the soothing sounds of Hugh's voice will lull me to sleep.

If not, I can always put House back in the DVD player. I LOVE sleeping to that, LOL. It's taken the place of the radio. Just put in the disc with my favorite episodes and set the dvd player to repeat all night, and watch until I fall asleep.

Bliss.

I might watch House anyway. :-)

Things my mother ruined for me.

I started thinking about this because JFo wrote about air freshener at JJHF.

"i hate when people use lysol spray as an air freshner

it is not an air freshner

it is a disenfecant spray

not to cover up poo smells

so gross

it makes me puke"

This is what I posted in reply to her original post:

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!

It was YEARS after I moved out of my mother's house before I used FEBREZE to freshen up my furniture.

She had like 57 different "air fresheners" that never really freshened the air, they just made it heavy with fucking rose scented mist. Didn't cover up the shit smell. Or the sardine smell. Or the 3 gallons of bleach she used to mop the floor and then poured in into the toilet and didn't flush so if you sat down before you smelled the bleach the fumes would start burning your sensitive areas.

But I digress.

I HATE air freshener.

Scented candles. Or incense. That's all.

Linen scented. Or something clean and not cloying.

But that got me thinking about other things that my mother ruined for me.

1. Pork
I didn't eat pork until like 2 years ago. It seemed like every other day we had fucking pork for dinner. Because "Daddy likes it." She didn't care what the rest of us thought. We HAD to eat it. There was no having something else for dinner in that house. There was no skipping dinner in that house. She made it, we had to eat it. BTW, I haven't had liver for...19 years. DADDY liked it. So I was FORCED to eat it. That's child abuse IMO.

2. Fruit punch
That was my father's favorite. And you couldn't make new kool aid until the old kool aid was all gone. So I had a swimming pool's worth of fucking fruit punch and I CAN'T STAND THE TASTE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!

She acted like we were poor. Like kool aid costs what, 15 cents today? I don't know. All I know is that it was cheaper 20 years ago. If you poured out 2 cups, it's not like pouring out a bottle of Dom Perignon. What the hell? HE liked fruit punch. Why couldn't HE drink it all????????? My brother won't drink anymore it either. Or grape.

what else?

Um...

I didn't eat mayonaise or tuna until Evan was 2 and I went to his cousin's first birthday party and my aunt had made mini tuna fish sandwiches. I ate 1 to be polite. Then I ate the other 3 cause the shit was good, LOL.

But that's more my brother's fault. He told me that mayo was elephant snot or something so I wouldn't eat it as a kid.

Anyway, I will come up with more stuff my mother ruined for me when I'm more Angry PMSsy. This month I'm Weepy PMSsy.

:-)

My birthday

was 10/10. I've been sleeping so much I haven't posted about it.

First, I posted about 100 messages at JJHF and told the regulars that what I wanted for my birthay was a whole bunch of posts to me. I had 94 unread messages when I signed on. I 'm sure I had over 100 by the end of the day. That was fun!

Then we went to the Cracker Barrel.

Then on 10/11 I got a lot of free sigs from the people at my PSP group. (MSN freaks out on a regular basis so I couldn't sign on on Tues.)

Wanna see some?

K.






I don't know why they aren't showing movement. The Blue one and the Swan one are supposed to be moving.

Whatever.

Ta!

Yesterday

My mom came over because there was nothing on TV. I was ordering ABOFAL from Amazon.com. I told her I wanted it for my birthday and since NO ONE got it for me, I was ordering it for myself.

She gave me $20 and told me that should cover one of them (I could have ordered season 1 & 2 together, but by ordering them seperately I got free shipping.)

Then I reminded her that she's never paid me for the glade light show air freshener that I got for her. So she gave me another $20 (I gave her change. Yes. Because she's like that.) And she said she'd lost $40 coming over here.

Me - I didn't jack you for it!
Evan - She didn't jack you for it! You GAVE it to her.

I mean, she could have paid for my dinner ON MY BIRTHDAY and considered that my present. That's what I was expecting. She takes me to some cheap ass place where she spends $10 and calls that my fucking present. She didn't even do that this year.

I always try to get her something that I KNOW she wants, or something I know she'll like. She never puts any effort into getting a gift for me.

She pisses me the fuck off.

If I hadn't had Evan, I never would have started speaking to her again.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

What the hell?

I was getting comments from Track on my blog and I thought he was e-mailing me so I responded in e-mail.

Now I see it's on my blog.

How odd.

Whatever.

so

I've been taking this new anti depressant for 3 weeks now, I think.

I can tell a difference.

I LOVE this one. I used to take it before until my insurance stopped paying for this one. Now with my medicare and medigap it's covered.

ANYWAY.

I'm almost happy, LOL.

Cool.