S
ooo...On Halloween, Evan went Trick or Treating with our 7 year old cousin who idolizes him. He basically just walked with him, because he (Evan) looks like a full grown Mexican man now, and he's not so into dressing up anymore. But he did bring home some candy anyway because at the last house the lady said "Just take this, please. If you don't, I'll end up eating it."
My aunt dressed up as a witch. She looked nothing like herself.
My male cousin (my age) was a voodoo priest
My 13 year old cousin wore a mask and just sat there and followed people with his eyes & then jumped at them when they reached for candy.
I don't remember what my cousin was...I'm sure she had some makeup on or something.
Mommy Dearest stayed in the house with the lights off & the shades drawn.
I pretty much slept ALL WEEKEND. Seriously. I ordered pizza Saturday night & then told Evan he could finish the rest of it @ some point on Sunday. That's what he says, anyway. I told him that he cannot take anything that I say while I'm sleeping seriously. I'm the one who told him, apparently, that it wasn't safe to go into the kitchen because there were frogs in there...
On Sunday he made me get up and go do the laundry.
Did I tell you that I got Ambien from my doctor? Did I tell you that Ambien is bullshit and I might as well take an aspirin? So I took aspirin. And I slept all weekend.
I kid you not, LOL. Aspirin sometimes makes me sleepy. My sleeping pill rotation just cuts down on the hours that I spend awake watching DVRed shit.
I voted yesterday with Mommy Dearest and my grandmother. Then MD & I went to Wal-Mart where I rode around the whole store getting the stuff on her list. I yawned the whole time.
Got home at 2pm or something and let her watch Tyler Perry on Craig Ferguson.
OMG. Does anyone watch Ma's Roadhouse on TruTV? Let me see if there's a clip on their website. There is.
So I had set MD's DVR to record one episode just so that she could see this AMAZINGLY INDESCRIBABLE SHOW.
She talked like "Ma" for the entire 13 minutes it took to get from Wal-Mart to my house. I told her that she could not come in my house if she continued to talk like that because, in the car, she said "This is my damned car and I'll talk however I want to talk."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
No more telling her about shows with characters who have irritating voices like Ma ever again. Just in case I'm held captive in her car for 13 long ass minutes.
I finished reading "The Host" by Stephanie Meyer. I didn't know until I was 1/3 of the way through that she's the same person who wrote the Twilight books. Evan told me. But honestly, she caught my attention with the first few sentences that I read. So I read all 600+ pages & the bitch made me cry (well, tear up). I liked it. It's not like any other Sci-fi book I can think of. If you like that kind of stuff, check it out. I still don't think I'll be reading the Twilight books because of that stupid ass movie.Did I tell you that my aunt is in love with the werewolf on that movie? I can't remember what his name is. She has That Dude sheets & a That Dude Snuggie & a That Dude calendar at work.
Whatever.
My back hurts.
TTYL!
I want to watch that show! I want to talk like that! I am practicing. I wish you had audio commenting turned on.
ReplyDeleteMax - I think if you smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day for 60 years you can talk like that...
ReplyDeleteWhere does one get this "audio commenting" thingamawhojit of which you speak?
You don't have to smoke for that voice. Your mother doesn't smoke. I can do it. You just have to practice like you're hawking up phlegm, but talk at the same time. It's cool.
ReplyDeleteActually, I'm giving them away to people who comment on my blog every day for a year. And none of your smart comments about how you will pass on it then. :)
I dunno. Maybe just record your comment and post it on YouTube and just leave a link instead of writing your comment?
It could happen.
Max - Thankfully my mother didn't really sound like "Ma", she just spoke slowly & shaky. I'm pretty sure Ma got that voice from smoking. She said she'd been smoking since 16 & she's 70+ now.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I want to spend that much time on youtube, but I'll probably make a comment on your blog just to get a voice to go with the name. :-)
I used to have a voice thing on my blog. It was called Snapvine, it's no longer in service. I'm sure there are other things like it. I only got 3 or 4 voice messages though, I think people are shy.