Thursday, July 22, 2010

What I won't do for my child

Feeling Normal

I

think I talked earlier this year about The OCD Project. The show where the psychiatrist had a house full of OCD patients and helped them by giving them "exposures" to make them realize that OCD is in their heads and not really something they should be afraid of.

Was that a run-on sentence or what?

For example, one chick had a father who was killed by a hit & run driver so after that, one of her OCD things was driving the same route over and over because she was afraid she'd hit & kill someone. So the doctor made her drive around an obstacle course and he threw baby dolls at her and made her run over a mannequin, etc. until she realized how ridiculous her fear was. (Not to mention how much time she wasted driving the route over and over to make sure she hadn't hit anyone.)

Some other dude was afraid he'd kill someone.

I mean, he looked like he could be a serial killer, but that's not the point, LOL. Everyone who knew him said he was the sweetest person you'd ever want to meet & that he didn't have a bad temper.

So the doctor had him hold a butcher knife to his (the doctor's) arm & neck to prove that he could resist the urge to kill.

Now...

Uh...

I can really understand the whole germ phobia. I will not use a public restroom unless I'm seriously afraid of wetting myself. I will NOT use a public restroom for #2 no matter what. I'd rather soil myself and drive with the windows down all the way home in the dead of winter than shit in a public restroom.

It's gross.

People don't wash their hands.

People don't even sit on the damned toilet with those paper toilet covers so when I go in there, there's urine all over the effing seat.

Cheese & Rice, CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES YOU NASTY MOTHERFUCKERS!

Ew.

Anyway, if I have to use a public restroom, I was my hands, dry them with the paper towel & then use it to open the door. If it's one of those new restrooms that has no paper (??????????) I'll stick my hand under my shirt & open the door.

Yes I have antibacterial shit in my purse, but I don't care.

The point is, I can understand some obsessions.

I can't understand being afraid that one day I'll become a serial killer, or that my not turning off the light 17 times in a row will keep my son from dying.

But what I wanted to tell you is that one chick had the germ phobia.

On the show she had to not shower for 3 days or something. Stick her finger in gutter water & then rub it all over her hands and hair and face & whatnot.

Fine. It's really unlikely that we'll get a fatal disease from sticking our finger in gutter water. Maybe diarrhea? But it's doubtful that any of us in AMERICA will die from that.

So this chick had to go to a Tea Shop (or whatever) with her mother & one of the doctors.

They ordered tea & scones.

They went into the bathroom.

When they walked in, the patient remarked that it smelled and she could see dried urine on the seat.

So then she had to rub her scone all on the top of the toilet seat. Her mother & the doctor did it too.

I love you, but HELL to the NO!Then she had to rub it at the top of the rim. On the inside of the toilet.

Then the doctor dropped her scone in the water "accidentally" and ATE IT.

So the patient had to DIP HER FREAKING SCONE IN THE GEEDEE TOILET WATER AND EAT IT.

But not before her mother did it to prove that she would do anything for her daughter and to help her get better.

People -

I love Evan more than I love myself. I kid you not.

But if he got really bad OCD and the only way he could be cured is having me eat a damned scone that I just dunked in the toilet of a fucking public restroom...

He'd just have to suffer.

I would not do that for my child.

Need a kidney? Sure. Need bone marrow? I got it. Need some of my liver? Fine, baby.

Need me to pick up something off the floor in my own home and eat it? Sure. If it's something dry like a cracker or a chip, I might even pick it up from a parking lot in the ghetto and eat it.

But I ain't eating nothing that's been dipped in the water of a public terlet.

No.

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