Not physically tired. Emotionally tired.
The Boy is literally driving me insane. He knows how to push my buttons and he does it. You would think that I know by now not to give him the satisfaction of flipping the eff out when he does it, but I can't help it.
- Constant noise making
- Standing too close to me when I'm on the computer
- Putting his face right next to mine when I'm asleep so that he wakes me up
- Not doing his homework
- Refusing to brush his teeth
- Making me scream at him to do anything
Making me repeat myself 7,008 times (getting louder each time) until he does WTF I told him to do. It's like he's asserting his independence all over again, but since I never really went through the Terrible Twos, it's a new experience for me.
And that's why God gave us helpless babies instead of having us shoot out children who could already walk and do things independently.
It's because He knew we'd take endless pictures of them and home movies of them and fall in love with them and be grateful for how happy they made us even when we didn't realize that we needed them in our lives in the first place.
We learn unconditional love from them. We learn patience from them. We learn to be amazed by everything again, like when we were kids.
We will remember how they used to want us to hug them and kiss them, and how they always wanted to be with us. We will remember how cuddly they were and how good they smelled. We will remember how funny they were when they first started talking and thinking about things. Even the devious things like "How can I get a cookie from Mommy before dinner?" We will remember not getting upset at them when they drew all over the walls or painted their whole bodies with finger paint. We thought it was funny and cute.
We need to remember all the good times for when they turn into hormonal teenagers.
We will remind ourselves "I love this child." We will remember the good times we had with the child before it became this defiant cretin. We will remind ourselves of how we had to pray for the strength NOT to beat the child when they took a pair of scissors and cut up our good wig.
We will remind ourselves that "This child has driven me to the edge of insanity before, and I didn't kill him then. This is a phase, he'll get over it."
We will remind ourselves "I was a little shit too when I was that age."
We will tell ourselves "One day, I'll get my child back from this demon named 'Puberty' who has possessed him and I'll enjoy him fully again".
I just hope there's enough Xanax in the world to last me until then...
Now playing: RunDMC - You Be Illin'