Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Vulgarity - **Mature Content** (Allegedly)

When I was younger, I used to think people who cussed were less intelligent than everyone else. There are MILLIONS of words that can be used instead of cussing.

Then I started working. I worked for CEOs and Owners of companys, you know?

THEY cussed.

Every time I heard a curse word, I felt a physical jolt. It shocked me that much. Like when you get shocked on your finger after walking on carpet and touching someone.

After I quit working, I met one of my neighbors. She cussed WORSE than a sailor. But she rubbed off on me.

Now I cuss a lot. I can still censor myself, depending on who's there around me. But since I rarely go see anyone, and people rarely come to see me, it hardly matters.

Anyway, there are still some curse words that I hate. I don't use them.

Following are the offensive terms, and alternatives so that YOU don't have to use these vile words either. (See, this is an educational post. I'm providing a service...)

Don't say Titty - Instead use: Breast, Boob, Funbag, Hooters, Ta-ta, Boobalins (courtesy of my SIL).

Don's say Cock - Instead use: Penis. There are other words, but I don't really use them.

Don't say Cunt - If someone's a bitch, just call her that. But if you're referring to a specific part of the female anatomy, say Vagine (think Borat), Vajayjay, Coochie, Pocketbook (courtesy of my SIL), Monkey (Courtesy of the aforementioned neighbor)

Don't say Pussy - Unless you're talking about a Punk Bitch. If you're talking about coochie, use one of the above words.

Those are the most offensive curse words TO ME. Feel free to tell me what the most offensive curse words to you are in the comments. (57 cool points if you can cuss in a foreign language)

4 comments:

  1. You know...the standard f - - k.

    I don't say that word, but I DO say freakin'.

    Also, I hate the word bitch...but I do use it occasionally.

    Thanks for the lil' "cursing" lesson!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I LOVE Vajayjay!! I totally forgot about that term until you mentioned it! And I get 57 cool points for cussing in a foreign language.. but do I get an extra 57 because I can cuss in French also? :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you get 57,000 cool points, Sue. Because you know more than one, LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LMAO! I can't stand those words either and my MOM uses 2 of them. Weirds me out to no end...

    I learned a "new" word for the female anatomy within the last year. Christmas.

    And I did not enjoy having to tell my 8 year old son what a "coochie" was. Though I don't think he enjoyed learning it either judging my the nervous giggle accomanying the "EEEW!" ;-)

    ReplyDelete

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