Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Vulgarity - **Mature Content** (Allegedly)

When I was younger, I used to think people who cussed were less intelligent than everyone else. There are MILLIONS of words that can be used instead of cussing.

Then I started working. I worked for CEOs and Owners of companys, you know?

THEY cussed.

Every time I heard a curse word, I felt a physical jolt. It shocked me that much. Like when you get shocked on your finger after walking on carpet and touching someone.

After I quit working, I met one of my neighbors. She cussed WORSE than a sailor. But she rubbed off on me.

Now I cuss a lot. I can still censor myself, depending on who's there around me. But since I rarely go see anyone, and people rarely come to see me, it hardly matters.

Anyway, there are still some curse words that I hate. I don't use them.

Following are the offensive terms, and alternatives so that YOU don't have to use these vile words either. (See, this is an educational post. I'm providing a service...)

Don't say Titty - Instead use: Breast, Boob, Funbag, Hooters, Ta-ta, Boobalins (courtesy of my SIL).

Don's say Cock - Instead use: Penis. There are other words, but I don't really use them.

Don't say Cunt - If someone's a bitch, just call her that. But if you're referring to a specific part of the female anatomy, say Vagine (think Borat), Vajayjay, Coochie, Pocketbook (courtesy of my SIL), Monkey (Courtesy of the aforementioned neighbor)

Don't say Pussy - Unless you're talking about a Punk Bitch. If you're talking about coochie, use one of the above words.

Those are the most offensive curse words TO ME. Feel free to tell me what the most offensive curse words to you are in the comments. (57 cool points if you can cuss in a foreign language)

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