I
have to say that I am surprised that I only got one comment about yesterday's post when I said "I was going to talk about my wife...".You people either aren't reading, or you are more entertained by my pain than my lesbian relationship.
Here she is, in all of her glory. Angela aka Tae Kwon Ho, Bama Lover, Ass Wiper & Life Saver, etc. She's hott, right? I know!We met when I was 19 and got my first "real job" working as a receptionist at an investment advisory firm. Angela was my supervisor. But we became friends as soon as I realized she wasn't really a Ho, that's just what her friends who called the office called her because I was new & they thought it was funny. (I was a very uptight virgin back then, you have to realize how shocked I was by a woman who was proud of being a Ho, LOL.)
Angela taught me Ebonics. Furreal. As much as I hate to say it, this is where the comparisons to Oprah began. Not with Angela, but it's the only way I can get you to understand how I spoke. Fuck that. Let's say I sounded like...Julie Chen. I can live with that.
So anyway, I was very uptight and Angela was very at peace with who she was. I don't remember how long I worked there, but I was there when she was pregnant with her 3rd child. She was there when I lost my virginity & had to call in sick because my cooch was so sore that I could barely walk. She was the one who cut the cord when Evan was born (she's his Godmother). She was the first person I let babysit Evan overnight. Yes, before I let Mommy Dearest keep Evan overnight, LOL.
Angela was my first real friend. The kind of friend who knows all of your faults and quirks and loves you to death anyway.She's also my longest friendship. It will be 20 years next year! OMG. She's getting old. But not me. :-)
Entyway, the other day I realized that I was getting 75,006 ads to "Date Black Men" on Facebook. I mean, I found the number of ads for that one thing to be unusually high. How do they know I like black men? Do they realize that most of the black men around here date white women? How do they know I don't like Asian women? In my profile, I checked the box that said I was interested in FRIENDSHIP. Not love, or relationships or whatever the hell they call it. So:
According to Facebook, I am now married. My ads are about Uggs, financial advice, creating ads & testing a MAC now. LOL.
Anyway, I love Angela 2nd most of all the people I know in my life. 2nd only to our love child, Evan. She used to embarrass me by telling anyone who asked who Evan was when he was staying with her "Oh, he's my love child with my BFF."She crazy.
But I love her crazy ass. :-)
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Now playing: Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl
via FoxyTunes
Dammit - I missed yesterday so got the lowdown before the teaser ......
ReplyDeleteI would like you to know that I'm an honoury lesbian on another blog ....... I even volunteered to have a uterus implant ....... I love the 'virtual' world!!!
DP - Uteruses (or would it be uteri?) aren't all they're cracked up to be. They hurt sometimes. Not to mention the hormones. Boobs can hurt too, at that time of the month. It's hard being a woman! But I'd rather have boobs than balls. Those things are just gross...
ReplyDeleteRe - I know I'm crazy, LOL.
Ang has been better to me than my own family, seriously. I don't know what I'd do without her.
Re - Oh yeah, there's no way in hell I'd screw Flav. It's Djimon you're talking about. No, I haven't seen him.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever get laid again, I will blog about it. In detail. Good or bad. :-)
"Angelika" has been included in this weeks Sites To See. I hope you like the image I featured, and I hope this helps to attract many new visitors here.
ReplyDeletehttp://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2010/02/sites-to-see_12.html
I'm hoping that Hugh doesn't cause any friction ........ he's very sensitive you know .....
ReplyDeleteDP - We both find him sexier than hell. If he's up for a 3some, we are too! ;-)
ReplyDeleteFishHawk - Thanks for the Link Love! I hope you don't get too much flack for adding my site, LOL.
ReplyDeleteOh no ma'am... I read it but was like "hmmmm" but I figured in due time would come some kind of explanation.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am married and I still get those dumb ass ads on facebook. I don't get it. Not sure if there is some secret box I checked that says I am looking for some extramarital kinkiness but they seem to think I am all for it. On top of that, my husband is white... so maybe the ads for dating black men is their attempt to get me to change my mind about the type of man I am looking for. Who the fuck knows.
All right, enough damn rambling. When you and your wifey "renew your vows" (lol) I want an invite so that I actually have a reason to visit TN so you and I can FINALLY go shopping at Wally World together.
Monique - You will be on the invite list for sure! :-)
ReplyDelete