Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I'm scared, y'all.

Feeling Scared


cared, freaked out, concerned, confused, sad & desperate to be more precise.

This past Sunday, my mother called me. I was asleep, but I got the call back text message when I woke up, so I called her back:

She - Would you like to go to Wal-Mart & Goody's tomorrow?
Me - *sing song professional secretary voice* No, I would not like to go to Wal-Mart & Goody's tomorrow.
She - Well you don't have to be hateful!
Me- *confused* I wasn't being hateful! I was just responding to your question!
She - FINE! *click*

She hung up on me.

So I'm like "Damn! WTF was that about? She's got issues."

It has bothered me for the past 3 days. Seriously. She flipped the fuck out.

So today I go to her house because I'm thinking I've got to find out WTF is wrong with her that she reacted to my simple, and frankly extremely polite refusal to go with her to the store.

Me - When you called me and asked me to go with you to the store and I said "No", why did you get so upset?
She - You didn't say "No".
Me - What did I say?
She - You were all hateful and said "NO! Why would I want to go to Goody's?"
Me - *shocked* Seriously?
She - *Beginning to cry* Yes! I was thinking why is she being so mean? Maybe she has PMS, but still that doesn't give her the right to talk to me like that! I didn't do anything to her.
Me - I swear to God I didn't say that. What I said was "No, I would not like to go to Wal-Mart & Goody's with you."
She - No, I said "Would you like to go with me to pick out Christmas presents for Evan."
Me - I didn't hear that. I know I was thinking "She knows I got my car fixed, so why would she think I need a ride?", but I didn't hear anything about picking out presents for Evan at all.
She - Well I said it.
Me - *crying & in shock* Well, I'm sorry that I said that. I'm sorry that you felt like I was being bitchy to you, but I swear I wasn't even feeling bitchy when I called you. I make a point of NOT talking to you when I'm feeling mad or PMSsy because I know in the past you thought everything I said to you was bitchy. But I don't remember saying that to you. I remember being extra nice when I called you back.


Whenever I call my mother, I make a point to not be bitchy or even sad because we do have such a long history of me treating her like I hate her and her acting like she's the most put upon mother in the world.

So now I'm freaked the fuck out.

In my head, I still replay it like "No, I would not like to go to Wal-mart & Goody's with you."

So the fact that she heard something totally different scares the shit out of me.

I mean, I've had instances where I can say something to someone and immediately forget what I said, I've said the wrong word like "Coat" instead of "Shoe", I've forgotten how to spell Milk or my name.

But never before have I had an experience where what I remember saying is so totally different from what the person to whom I was speaking heard.

Can you imagine how freaky that is?


How long has this been going on???????????????????????????????????????

Now I'm scared to talk to anyone over the phone.

In person, I can see the faces of the person to whom I am talking, so if I say something off the wall, I can see the reaction in their face.

But over the phone, who knows what the fuck I'm saying?

I'm scared.

WTF is going on?

Is this normal?

Could I be schizophrenic & not know it?

Have I had a psychotic break?




**UPDATE - 10:43**

I went back to my mother's house a couple of hours ago to hear the story again.

I don't feel any better about it.

Do you know someone with Multiple Sclerosis? Has anything like this ever happened to them?


Now playing: Marvin Gaye - What's Going On?

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