Friday, February 27, 2009

Touchy Feely


his post was inspired by CardioGirl's Friday QOTD

"When you are with your friends, do your interactions include much touching — for example, hugging, kissing, roughhousing or rubbing backs? Would you like to have more of this?"

Short answer - No.

It reminded me of when I was pregnant with Evan.

I had been living in this apartment for 3 years and NEVER put anything on the walls. I drove to work with the radio on, only talked to co-workers and then went home and was silent too.

I started talking to him or singing with the radio because I thought "He won't even know what I sound like when he's born."

The DAY BEFORE I went to the hospital to have him induced (Due date was 1/7/96 but I needed the tax refund to be able to take 4 months off) I covered the walls with that marble contact paper & hung up some pictures. I also put his crib together. By myself. 9 mos pregnant. I used to kick ass, LOL.

Anyway, after he was born I talked to him like he was an adult. I would respond to his baby noises seriously like "Yes, I think so too." and "Really? Are you sure?"

I think that's why he spoke so well so early. There was no baby talk in this house!

I had to remember to touch him just to touch him, nodamene? Not just to change his diaper or give him a bath. I'm not naturally touch feely. I had to grow into that. It was easy with a baby. Not so easy now.

It breaks my heart when he says "Can I have a hug?" because I remember asking the same question of my mother.

I remember my dad giving me ONE (1) hug when I was 14 and this was after he knew he was dying.

So even when I don't want to be touched, I give The Boy a hug.

But I'm much better at roughhousing, LOL.

Evan used to be sooooooooooooooo sensitive. I just knew he'd get bullied. So I started roughhousing with him because there is no male influence in the house. I wanted him to know how to fight & take care of himself.

Now I can't stop it. *sigh*

But if the only physical interaction he gets is when I'm cutting his hair or something, I guess he'll take what he can get.

Poor kid.

Which is better? A mom who's all over you with hugs and kisses when you're 13 or a mom who punches you in the butt when you walk by?


It doesn't matter.

The Punching Mom is what he's got.


  1. First of all, may I say that I am 100% with you on the no baby talk thing. Neither of my kids got baby talk from me ( I wouldn't even let my kids watch Teletubbies cause they baby talk and I can't stand that!) And you're right, they speak well as they grow up because we didn't waver and allow them to do it wrong just cause they were munchkins. And as far as touchy-feely... I'm SURE that your boy is happier having a punch-mom instead of a kissy-whiney-lovey-dovey-totally-embarrassing-in-front-of-the-friends mom.

  2. He is very lucky. But you knew that.

    You still kick ass.

  3. How come I have to sign up again to be a follower? I notice you were gone from mine too, but I figured you were just pissed. Blogger, right? Well, at least the comments seem to be working again. Did you hear they were going to change all the blogs' themes to green over the weekend? I would save your Hugh pictures if I were you. Not that you haven't already done that. 11 times.

  4. Aria - I HATE Tellietubbis (or whatever) and Barney and anything like that. Blues Clues all the way, LOL.

    Max - TYVM.

    I have no idea what blogger is doing. You know I can't quit you, man. ;-) I sincerely hope that they don't change ALL the blogs to green. That would suck for everyone who has personalized their blog.

  5. "When you are with your friends, do your interactions include much touching — for example, hugging, kissing, roughhousing or rubbing backs? Would you like to have more of this?"

    Yes my interactions with friends includes touching:

    Girls: Hugging, sometimes neck massages (don't ask)
    Guys: Hugging, cheek kissing, no back rubs

    I used to hate being touched. I didn't want people that close to me. But I spent most of my life in church and you show me ONE person who can say they go to church and half them folks don't hug them and I'll ask where the heck that place is 'cause the ones I have gone to are hugging maniacs.

    Anyway, it prepared me for hugging friends and girly girls who scream and hug when they see you.. uh.. barf.

  6. I'm an intermediate hugger -- I don't insist on it, but I can deliver a hug or air kisses, or whatever reciprocates my friend's style and comfort. My family all hug and kiss. So. Max gets unsolicited and solicited hugs, but I also roughhouse with him (I used to have a thing called squish the baby where I'd pretend to try to flatten him against the back of the sofa... now he squishes the momma...) Which reminds me, I must get to CG's and comment too.

  7. First I too agree 100% with you about the baby talk. I never used it with my girls and they don't use it now with the grandchildren. After all, this is how they first start to learn speech. I have never understood how people expect their children to speak clearly if all they have heard is baby talk.

    Now on the other, relating to touchy feely. That was different for both of my children and it was their temperament that made the decision.

    My oldest absolutely couldn't stand to be held or cuddled very much at all. She preferred to be on her own most of the time. But, my second child was completely different. She demanded to be cuddled or held almost all the time.

    Either way it is obvious by your concern over this that you are a loving mother.

    I hope you are having a good weekend,

  8. I guess Evan knows he's the light of your life.... And ur a kickass person - I believe he sees that too!

  9. Shae - Another reason not to go to church... Ew.

    Elle - Yeah. Evan has fun sitting on me. It was fine when he was 5. Not so much now, LOL.

    Jackie - Thank you. I just didn't want him to want hugs or whatever and not get them like I did.

    Umme - Probably. Because I sing "You light up my life" frequently. My singing gets on his nerves, but I don't care. :-)


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