Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Sometimes I make me sick


ecause I feel like such a whiner. I hate whining. I hate complaining. I especially hate it when I'm the one who's doing it.

I am the first person to tell others "If you don't like your situation, change it." So why do I find it so hard to do myself???

Sometimes I feel like all I ever write about on this blog is what's hurting or irritating on my body & what crap I watch on TV.

Which is why I make me sick.

I wonder if I can go a week without complaining about my body at all? Will I have anything to write about?

Maybe I just need some writing prompts to distract myself from the boring (to me) crap that is my life.

Or I could just make something up.

I did that once. When some people believed that it was true (like my BFF???), I was offended/disappointed.

I wonder if you could tell the difference between my normal bullshit and my fake bullshit?


But before I stop whining & start making shit up, let me tell you the latest.

In addition to the percussion in my ear (which has changed from 5 seconds on & 3 seconds off to 1 hour on, 3 seconds off, 44 minutes on, 10 minutes off, etc) there is a new symptom that I'm experiencing. (JOY!)

First, I must thank Baby Jesus that this new symptom is not painful. It's just irritating.

I get little "shocks" or "jolts" all the time.

It's hard to describe.

At first I thought it was just when I said words with hard consonants. Like Stop or Quit. Then I thought that it was just when I raised my voice. Not yelled, just spoke above a whisper.

Evan enjoyed listening to me talk without saying words with a hard "T" or a hard "P" for a while.

I was saying stuff like "son, don be so lou. I have an... a pain in my hea"

Then I got extremely sleepy at 8 for no reason. I slept through most of "Fringe". Then I was wide awake.


Now I'm just experiencing these jolts or shocks constantly. I really wish I could explain it.

You know when you get scared/startled and your heart jumps?

It's that feeling, except all the time. I blink, it happens. I move suddenly, it happens. My tongue hits the roof of my mouth, it happens.

It's kind of like being High without the pleasure, LOL.

And the top of my right thumb is numbish. Just that one part?

WTF is going on?????????????

Now playing: Jay-Z - Hard Knock Life via FoxyTunes

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