Showing posts with label Puberty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Puberty. Show all posts

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Thirteen things I love about my 13 year old

Feeling Relaxed

T

his is assuming that I can think of 13 things after being awakened @ 7:30 am to be told that it was 7:30 and he had missed the bus...on purpose?
  1. His sense of humor

  2. His intelligence

  3. The fact that he's really not that bad.

  4. "He's still shorter than I am."
  5. He's not on drugs.

  6. He's not having sex (I guess)

  7. He's still cute

  8. He's still shorter than I am. (for now)

  9. He can lift heavy things

  10. He takes out the garbage after I've told him 50,000 times

  11. I can still beat him on some video games

  12. He still falls asleep in the car (like when he was a baby)

  13. He tries to make me laugh

  14. He still talks to me about school (as long as it isn't about his grades)


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I know why God gives us babies.

Feeling Tired

N

ot physically tired. Emotionally tired.

The Boy is literally driving me insane. He knows how to push my buttons and he does it. You would think that I know by now not to give him the satisfaction of flipping the eff out when he does it, but I can't help it.
  • Constant noise making

  • Standing too close to me when I'm on the computer

  • Putting his face right next to mine when I'm asleep so that he wakes me up

  • Not doing his homework

  • Refusing to brush his teeth

  • Making me scream at him to do anything

Making me repeat myself 7,008 times (getting louder each time) until he does WTF I told him to do. It's like he's asserting his independence all over again, but since I never really went through the Terrible Twos, it's a new experience for me.

Evan 4 mosAnd that's why God gave us helpless babies instead of having us shoot out children who could already walk and do things independently.

It's because He knew we'd take endless pictures of them and home movies of them and fall in love with them and be grateful for how happy they made us even when we didn't realize that we needed them in our lives in the first place.

Evan MonstahWe learn unconditional love from them. We learn patience from them. We learn to be amazed by everything again, like when we were kids.

"This child has driven me to the edge of insanity before, and I didn't kill him then."We will remember how they used to want us to hug them and kiss them, and how they always wanted to be with us. We will remember how cuddly they were and how good they smelled. We will remember how funny they were when they first started talking and thinking about things. Even the devious things like "How can I get a cookie from Mommy before dinner?" We will remember not getting upset at them when they drew all over the walls or painted their whole bodies with finger paint. We thought it was funny and cute.

Evan HeadphonesWe need to remember all the good times for when they turn into hormonal teenagers.

We will remind ourselves "I love this child." We will remember the good times we had with the child before it became this defiant cretin. We will remind ourselves of how we had to pray for the strength NOT to beat the child when they took a pair of scissors and cut up our good wig.

We will remind ourselves that "This child has driven me to the edge of insanity before, and I didn't kill him then. This is a phase, he'll get over it."

We will remind ourselves "I was a little shit too when I was that age."

We will tell ourselves "One day, I'll get my child back from this demon named 'Puberty' who has possessed him and I'll enjoy him fully again".

I just hope there's enough Xanax in the world to last me until then...
----------------
Now playing: RunDMC - You Be Illin'


Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Guess what Evan told me.

N

o.

Forget it, you'll never guess.

Evan - Guess what some boy got sent to A school for? (Alternative School - Suspension in a different building that's painted Pepto Bismol pink on the inside, from what I've heard)
Me - No idea.
E - Masturbating in class.
Me - Is he mentally challenged?
E - Not that I've noticed.
Me - Was the teacher male or female?
E - Female
Me - WTF was he thinking? OMG.
MD - (We were on our way to Krystal for dinner) I guess he just couldn't wait.
Me - He couldn't have excused himself to the bathroom? That can be considered sexual harrassment since the teacher was female. OH.MY.GOD.
E - Well, I guess he's "special".
Me - Uh, yeah.

??????????

Anyway, here's a picture of Evan that was taken at Krystal with my new camera phone. :-)



The person with all the jewelry & the red hat is MD.

That is all!



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