Friday, March 04, 2011

You need to be watching

Feeling Normal


oan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? Tuesdays @ 9/8C on WE TV.


Because Joan Rivers is a fraking Nutbag but she cracks me the hell up.

I wasn't able to watch it until today when the OnDemand on my DVR decided to start working again. It stopped working, so I called the cable company, when the guy showed up it was working, then after he left it stopped working again. I have a few things I've taped that I want to keep forever so I never called them back again to fix it, I just kept checking every day to see if it was working yet.

Joan & Melissa RiversAnyway, I was able to watch the first 3 episodes. Here are a few of the things I've seen:

  1. Joan brought her dog with "urinary issues" to California from New York even after Melissa said no.

  2. When Joan met the Nanny, she looked @ Melissa & mouthed "Are you fucking serious?" Because, according to Joan, you either have an ugly nanny or a gay nanny. Not a gorgeous Swedish chick who walks around looking like a whore.

  3. Joan collects the ashes of her dead loved ones (at least 3) and wants to be cremated & mixed with them after she dies.

  4. She went all over Hollywood (Rodeo Drive & Judy Garland's house) to spread some of "Uncle Tommy" around to the places that he loved when he was alive

  5. Joan BARGED IN while Melissa was taking a shower to get some nude pics because the dude who created "Girls Gone Wild" wanted to have Melissa in a new video called "Hollywood Moms gone wild" & Joan wanted her to do it. (She threatened to leak the pictures, I don't know if she ever has. Or will)

  6. She surprised Melissa with a new living room by giving away all of Mel's furniture to a charity & brought in new stuff that looked more "New York"

  7. Apparently, no woman in that family has been able to cook for 200 years. Seriously. They eat take out @ every meal.

  8. Joan is much more spry & flexible than I would have thought. When she was looking for her husband's ashes under the bed, she walked on her knees to look all around on the floor! My knees hurt if I have to get on them AT ALL

I can't remember all the shit that Joan does. But she's crazy!

Entyway, I've been feeling like shit for a few weeks. This week more than usual. I can't explain it to you.


Today, since I had to go out to get some food & and an oil change, I happened to run into "Usher". I think I told you about him last century? Mebbe? I don't know. But he moved & I haven't seen him since. Today as I was waiting to tell the person what I wanted done to my car, I saw another dude who used to sell weed and now just looks like he's on crack so I said "Hi."

Skinny Dreadlocks"Usher" said "He's the only one you see?"
Me - Oh, Hey! I didn't recognize you with all that hair! (He's got the skinny dreads that I want on my hair)

I always thought he was cute. He used to flirt when he lived here. Told my cousin to tell me that if I ever needed to get laid, to come on over to his house, but of course I never did because I was probably in my 20s and he is younger than me.

Anyway, I asked where he had his dreads done and he said his cousin did them and he'll send her to do mine.

But I already bought the locking gel today so I plan on starting them this weekend.


My Vicodin (for my back) & Xanax (for my nerves) is finally kicking in.

I hope I feel better tomorrow.

I haven't even been on the computer since last month. Can you buleedat?


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  1. So that's why I've seen those two all over the place. In the few interviews I've seen of them (on talk shows) Melissa has really bugged the crap out of me.

    It feels like she's trying to be funny but she's coming off as a jerk/betch. What channel is the show on? Is it E!?

  2. @cardiogirlNo, the show is on WE TV. I don't get WE so I watch it OnDemand.


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