Do men read?

I

only ask because if my son is any indication, men don't LISTEN.

Here's my actual profile on that dating site I was telling you I joined the other day. The highlighted parts are the parts I consider relevant to this rant question/discussion.


Did you READ my profile?

Did you see where it says that I smoke? Did you see where it said I'm looking for a man in his late 40s or early 50s?

Mkay.

So why are all these 26-33 year old men hitting on me? Why are all these men who say they WILL NOT date someone who smokes "flirting" with me?

It's because I'm so fucking hot, right?

They just saw my damned gorgeous face and ignored everything else, I suppose?

BTW, I highlighted "A few extra pounds" because that was the only option other than "Normal" or "Athletic". I know there are Chubby Chasers out there, but are they all muscular like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson? Because those are the fuckers who aren't smoking but are hitting on me too. (Not that I have a problem with the muscles, I'm just not going to go to the gym with you. ☺)

*sigh*

On another note, look what Evan posted on Facebook today



It's true though. Size 2 BITCHES complain about gaining 5 lbs when we BBWs wouldn't even notice if we lost 5 lbs, LOL.

WTF?

I'm clearly NOT ready to date.

F

or whatever reason this weekend, I joined one of those online dating sites. Put up a picture & a short bio. You apparently can't have one longer than a sentence if you don't pay for it...

So my 1 sentence said "Looking for a man in his late 40s or early 50s near Chattanooga, TN."

So...I've gotten notes from (paying) members from the ages of 27 to 52. I'm totally cool with the higher end of the spectrum, but 27?? Seriously?

Whatever.

So one guy was talking to me and I said "Hello, youngun. I'm not quite ready to be a cougar. I know it's only 3 years, but you'd have to have an 'old soul' to make up the difference. :-)"

He said something like "I'm 3 years younger than you."

Me - Yeah, didn't I just say that? Also, you're so far away. 3 hours one way is a little long to drive to meet someone, don't you think? (Trying to get him to realize that I AM NOT INTERESTED)

Him - It's a 3 hour drive.

Me - Yes. I just said that...

Him - Ok.

?????????

Is it just me, or was he stupid?

OMG I'm never going to get laid again if I can't allow myself to speak to idjits without letting them know that I think they're retarded.

*sigh*

Anyway, I took my E-cig to my mom's house the other day. Waited until she came into the room to sit down and took a drag off of it.

She was about to flip the frak out until she realized it was fake.

MD - I knew I didn't smell anything! Why are you trying to get me to hurt you?
Me - You're not going to hurt me. If you do, you'll have to feed The Boy until I get better!

HA!