I'm still here...

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Krystal Essence & birthdays

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God's Dad, African Men & Pineapple

Questions for YOU to answer:

1. Why do men think that showing us your junk turns us on? As @JoKoy has said, the penis looks like an afterthought in comparison to the vagina. It's looks like a drunk dude who can't stand up straight...
2. What's the funniest thing you've heard a kid say?

3. Are ALL African (from AFRICA) men assholes?
4. What do you think about online dating? Ever done it? Would you? Why or why not?

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Rampant manic insomnia

My Favorite tweets from myself over the past 48-2 hours.

Click to enlargify the images.

Fuck it, I'm too tired to show you how hilarious I think I am when sleep deprived...

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Head Shaving & Back Aching

T

rue friends can think you're making a mistake, but support you anyway. ☺

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Now playing: El DeBarge - I Like It

This is the one where I marry my BFF

I

have to say that I am surprised that I only got one comment about yesterday's post when I said "I was going to talk about my wife...".

You people either aren't reading, or you are more entertained by my pain than my lesbian relationship.

Here she is, in all of her glory. Angela aka Tae Kwon Ho, Bama Lover, Ass Wiper & Life Saver, etc. She's hott, right? I know!

We met when I was 19 and got my first "real job" working as a receptionist at an investment advisory firm. Angela was my supervisor. But we became friends as soon as I realized she wasn't really a Ho, that's just what her friends who called the office called her because I was new & they thought it was funny. (I was a very uptight virgin back then, you have to realize how shocked I was by a woman who was proud of being a Ho, LOL.)

Angela taught me Ebonics. Furreal. As much as I hate to say it, this is where the comparisons to Oprah began. Not with Angela, but it's the only way I can get you to understand how I spoke. Fuck that. Let's say I sounded like...Julie Chen. I can live with that.

So anyway, I was very uptight and Angela was very at peace with who she was. I don't remember how long I worked there, but I was there when she was pregnant with her 3rd child. She was there when I lost my virginity & had to call in sick because my cooch was so sore that I could barely walk. She was the one who cut the cord when Evan was born (she's his Godmother). She was the first person I let babysit Evan overnight. Yes, before I let Mommy Dearest keep Evan overnight, LOL.

Angela was my first real friend. The kind of friend who knows all of your faults and quirks and loves you to death anyway.

She's also my longest friendship. It will be 20 years next year! OMG. She's getting old. But not me. :-)

Entyway, the other day I realized that I was getting 75,006 ads to "Date Black Men" on Facebook. I mean, I found the number of ads for that one thing to be unusually high. How do they know I like black men? Do they realize that most of the black men around here date white women? How do they know I don't like Asian women? In my profile, I checked the box that said I was interested in FRIENDSHIP. Not love, or relationships or whatever the hell they call it. So:



According to Facebook, I am now married. My ads are about Uggs, financial advice, creating ads & testing a MAC now. LOL.

Anyway, I love Angela 2nd most of all the people I know in my life. 2nd only to our love child, Evan. She used to embarrass me by telling anyone who asked who Evan was when he was staying with her "Oh, he's my love child with my BFF."

She crazy.

But I love her crazy ass. :-)

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Now playing: Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl
via FoxyTunes

Have I told y'all that my BFF is the one

W

ho taught me Ebonics?

Seriously, LOL.

I took a Quiz "How black are you?" I got 70%...
The Boy, he who is so attitudinal I dare not speak his name (Evan) calls me Oreo when he's mad @ me. Just like the kids in Jr High & HS did when I used to go to a predominantly black school. I've been permanently scarred by that. But that is a tale for another day.

Entyway

I took a Facebook Quiz "How black are you?" I got 70%...

Angela took the same quiz.



So, yeah. My read headed green eyed BFF is blacker than me.

That's the funniest shit ever! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

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Now playing: Missy Elliot ft Timbaland - They don't wanna f*** wit me

Does anyone here knit?

M

y BFF is an RN. She occasionally goes to Guatemala to nurse there. One of her fellow nurses there is planning to make 44 sweaters for the kids there and Angela thought she might need some help.

Can you knit a sweater?So do any of you knit? I don't, or I'd do it. I'm a self taught crocheter and I don't think whatever I could come up with would be good enough, LOL.

Anyway, here are the details. Click the image to enlarge.


Thanks for reading! :-)

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Now playing: Dirty Money - If I could
via FoxyTunes