Jack Reacher & Oblivion Movie Reviews

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Equilibrium (2002) - Movie Review

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I am Number Four - Movie Review

I Am Number Four
Starring: Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant, Kevin Durand
Director: D.J. Caruso
Genre: Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller
Plot from IMDb.com: Aliens and their Guardians are hiding on Earth from intergalactic bounty hunters. They can only be killed in numerical order, and Number Four is next on the list. This is his story.
Should you see it? Sure, I liked it
Rating (out of 5 hearts): ♥♥♥½

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Now playing: Michael Bublé - Everything

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Law Abiding Citizen

★★★★★ Buy it. That's all.

(Edited 2/18/10 - 5:42PM) Monique - Gerard Butler plays a husband and father. One day some dudes break into his house and kill his wife and child.

Jamie Foxx plays an Assistant District Attorney who makes a deal with the killer so that the killer gets out of prison in 3 years and the accomplice gets the death penalty.

10 years later, when the dude who didn't do the actual killing is about to be "put to sleep" he actually bleeds out and is in a lot of pain.

Butler catches the guy who actually killed his family & dismembers him.

He tells Jamie Foxx "Drop all charges and let me out of this prison by 6 am tomorrow or everybody dies."

Jamie doesn't believe him.

Everybody dies.

WATCH IT!

Taken Quick Review

Taken
Starring: Liam Neeson, Famke Janssen
Director: Pierre Morel
Genre: Action Crime Drama Thriller
Plot: A former spy relies on his old skills to save his estranged daughter, who has been forced into the slave trade.
Should you see it? YES!
Rating (out of 5 hearts): &hearts&hearts&hearts&hearts&hearts
My Comments: I borrowed this movie from Mommy Dearest, who watched it 3 times in 3 days. MD is the woman who will buy a movie and not even open the cellophane wrapping for years. She still has VHS tapes in shrink wrap. I'm just saying...

So Brian Mills' (Neeson) 17 year old daughter wants to go to Paris, allegedly to visit museums. In actuality, she and her 19 year old slut friend are going to follow U2 (or some band) around on their tour for a while.

Because Mills was a spy (he gave up his career to be closer to his daughter after he and his bitch wife (Janssen) got a divorce), he is extra protective/paranoid where his daughter is concerned. He gives her a special international cell phone, tells her to call him every night and proceeds to call her 50 times when she doesn't.

She didn't because her slut friend met a "cute" dude at the airport and was busy giving him all of their personal information on the cab ride to the place where they were staying.

"I don't know why, but every time Brian karate chops some guy in the throat, I cracked up."I swear fore lawd I was saying "Why is she (the friend) sharing a cab with a stranger? Why is she (the friend) telling him everything?" This is after I said "Why is this 17 year old such a spaz and acting like she's a 12 year old?"

Whatever, I forgot all about that when the action started in Paris.

The movie is 91 minutes, but it FLIES BY. The fact that I can get out of my head enough to not give a flip about the implausibility of stuff is saying A LOT, IMO.

I don't know why, but every time Brian karate chops some guy in the thoat (that's throat, without the "R"), I cracked up. We (Evan & I) were waging bets on how long it would take him to hit someone in the thoat the whole time. It was a really fun movie to watch!

He was a Jedi + a Super Hero + Jack Bauer all rolled into one.

I loved it, loved it, loved it. I will keep the movie until MD starts asking where it is and then buy my own copy, LOL.

See it!

Is it Monday already?

W

ow.

This weekend flew by.

In a way.

MD came over and bought pizza on Saturday. (Yes, this is the second time in a week that she treated us to dinner. I think she's having fun with that Obama Economic Stimulus Refund she got.)

I spent that whole time in the bathroom. You don't want the details, trust me.

Here they are anyway: **TMI Alert**

I bought a fresh cantaloupe off a truck from a dude. I also had one of those starbucks (or whatever) coffee drinks. I don't normally have caffeine.

So I don't know if it was the fruit (which was extremely juicy and sweet) or the coffee that gave me diarrhea so bad that it was like pooping water. Yeah.

I'm afraid now to have either coffee or the rest of that cantaloupe, LOL.

**End of TMI**

"I said something and forgot what I said right away."So anyway, I told her Saturday that I'd come over today to hook up the new DVR Recorder that I convinced her to buy.

She called me and asked what time I was coming over. I didn't remember WTF she was talking about, but I said "Well, probably after I get Evan from football practice."

Heh.

After I hung up, I remembered why I was supposed to go over there.

Did I tell you that when we were at Western Sizzlin, I said something, she replied immediately, and I stared at her for a few seconds and said "I have no idea what you're talking about."

For real.

I said something and forgot what I said right away. And my neurologist doesn't think I have problems with my memory.

I also watched Transporter 3. But I don't feel like reviewing it. If you liked the other 2, you'll like this one.

Jason Statham is HOTTTT.

Umm...I think that's it? Now I have to go shower so I can return the movie to the library.

:-)

BTW, I'm not liking my actual signature at the end of my posts. I hate my handwriting. I don't even know why I did that. Back to Monika font, I reckon...

Batman: The Dark Knight Movie Review

W

ell, I finally broke down and bought Batman: The Dark Knight because they don't seem to have it at the lieberry and the price isn't going down at Wal-Mart. Lately, it seems like they sell the movies at full price for a couple of weeks, then it goes down to $13.

I got tired of waiting, didn't want to pay to rent it when I knew I was going to buy it, so I paid $19.96. It hurt me to do that. Because Circuit City was selling it for $13 ONCE and, of course, Wal-Mart had no copies and wouldn't issue a rain check.

Bastids.

Whatevuh.

The Dark Knight
Starring: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman
Director: Christopher Nolan
Genre: Action Crime Thriller
Plot:from IMDb: Batman, Gordon and Harvey Dent are forced to deal with the chaos unleashed by an anarchist mastermind known only as the Joker, as it drives each of them to their limits.
Should you see it? Hell to the YES!!!
Rating (out of 5 hearts): ♥♥♥♥♥♥ (Yes, I know that's 6 hearts. I can count.)
My Comments: I really didn't have any expectations for this movie. I usually take a long time to see a movie if everyone and their brother has seen it and raved about it. All the hype makes me think the movie is going to be wonderful and I end up being disappointed. It took me until this summer to start watching Lost and now I love it.

This movie? This movie right here? This is THE SHIZNIT, BEEYOTCH!

"This movie? This movie right here? This is THE SHIZNIT, BEEYOTCH!"Heath Ledger was awesome as The Joker. I have always been partial to the first Batman movie with Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson and the Prince Soundtrack :-). But Heath Ledger took this role OVER. O.V.E.R. Now I understand why people (the general public) were so sad about his death. Because it would have been awesome if we could have had another Batman vs. The Joker movie.

But maybe it's best that we can't. We will not be disappointed with a sub-par script or Ledger doing an impersonation of himself playing The Joker, nodamene?

What surprised me was how funny The Joker was in this. The fact that I really can't remember if Nicholson was this funny as The Joker is saying a lot (to me).

If you've already seen it, see it again. If you haven't seen it, buy it. It was awesome.

I had planned to go to sleep during the movie, but Evan is the one who got sleepy and went to bed. I stayed up for the whole movie. It felt a lot longer than 152 minutes, but not in a bad way. Then I came to write a review while it's still fresh on my mind.

Love it, Love it, Love it.

It seemed like a lot of familiar faces were in the movie like Michael Jai White (Spawn), Anthony Michael Hall, Eric Roberts and Aaron Eckhart as Two Face. Don't even get me started on the special effects for that. So much creepier than Tommy Lee Jones' portrayal.

Ok, I'm going to bed before I replay the whole movie.
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Now playing: Prince - Partyman

Jumper

Y

ou may have heard some things about this movie which make you think it won't be any good. I know I did. I was nervous to buy it. All I knew about it was that Darth Vader (Hayden Christensen) was in it and he could basically teleport.

But it is so much more than that. I didn't know Samuel L. Jackson was in it. It was a different kind of role (IMO) for him. He played Roland. One of the "religious freaks" known as Paladins. Roland wants to kill all Jumpers because Paladins believe that only God should have the power to be all places at once.

The movie starts with a young teenager named David Rice. He is bullied (I guess) in school. One day, he wants to give his crush, Millie Harris, a gift (a snow globe that he found at a yard sale). The main HS bully snatches the gift from Millie and throws it onto a frozen lake. David walks out onto the ice to get it. He stands there just long enough to fall through the ice.

Look, this movie requires some suspension of disbelief. I have watched "Ice Road Truckers". I know that the last thing you want to do on top of a frozen lake is stop. He should have gotten the freaking snow globe and gone back to the bank. But then there would have been no movie, LOL.

So while he's in the freezing lake, he somehow transports himself to the middle of the city library. Water and all.

Then he goes home to his drunk father. Apparently, his dad beats up on him too because he has a serious chain on his bedroom door to keep his father out of his room.

His dad asks him why he's wet and he says something like "Oh, some kids from school..." then he goes into his room and chains it up. His dad comes upstairs to get more of an answer and David won't open the door. When his father is about to break into the room, he transports himself back to the library out of fear.

After that, he realizes that he doesn't have to stay in Nowhere, Rhode Island (or wherever he is) and he starts robbing banks (by Jumping himself into the vaults) to finance his new life. He goes to England to pick up chicks, he Jumps to the ocean to surf, he eats lunch on top of a sphinx's head in Egypt.

All of it is pretty fun to watch. Made me wonder what I would do if I had that kind of power.

One day he finally gets the courage to go back to his hometown to seek out Millie. Everyone else in town had thought that he was dead because he never came back after falling through the ice. He did, however, leave the snow globe on a bench in Millie's back yard so that she knew he was alive.

He runs into the old HS bully and Jumps him inside a bank vault.

Payback.

But the bully meets Roland & spills the beans. So while David is taking Millie to Rome to see all the sites that she had wanted to see in HS, Roland is trying to find him and kill him.

Rent the movie. As I said, Evan watched it about 30 times since the day we bought it. I watched it with him half of those times and didn't mind listening to it while I dropped cards or whatever the other half of the time.

I liked it a lot. I like the way that just because he had this "super power", he didn't try to be a Super Hero. He did what I think any of us would do. Exactly what he wanted. He had fun with it.

The only reason I say Rent the movie instead of Buy the movie is because you might not like it as much as we did. But the special effects were not overdone. I like the way they made Jumping look. There are some cool & funny action scenes when another Jumper is jumping a car through traffic at high speed.

2 snaps up with a bootie smack. Or something. Whatever. Watch it!