I'm clearly NOT ready to date.

F

or whatever reason this weekend, I joined one of those online dating sites. Put up a picture & a short bio. You apparently can't have one longer than a sentence if you don't pay for it...

So my 1 sentence said "Looking for a man in his late 40s or early 50s near Chattanooga, TN."

So...I've gotten notes from (paying) members from the ages of 27 to 52. I'm totally cool with the higher end of the spectrum, but 27?? Seriously?

Whatever.

So one guy was talking to me and I said "Hello, youngun. I'm not quite ready to be a cougar. I know it's only 3 years, but you'd have to have an 'old soul' to make up the difference. :-)"

He said something like "I'm 3 years younger than you."

Me - Yeah, didn't I just say that? Also, you're so far away. 3 hours one way is a little long to drive to meet someone, don't you think? (Trying to get him to realize that I AM NOT INTERESTED)

Him - It's a 3 hour drive.

Me - Yes. I just said that...

Him - Ok.

?????????

Is it just me, or was he stupid?

OMG I'm never going to get laid again if I can't allow myself to speak to idjits without letting them know that I think they're retarded.

*sigh*

Anyway, I took my E-cig to my mom's house the other day. Waited until she came into the room to sit down and took a drag off of it.

She was about to flip the frak out until she realized it was fake.

MD - I knew I didn't smell anything! Why are you trying to get me to hurt you?
Me - You're not going to hurt me. If you do, you'll have to feed The Boy until I get better!

HA!