Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Dear God - 9/22/10

Feeling Normal


here are a few things bothering me lately, and I need your help to fix them or at least not get so 'het up' about them.

First, the teenage sluts showing my son their thong.

Black Girl PrayingPlease hit them with a bolt of lightning or give them an epiphany that lets them realize, at this young and stupid age, that showing a boy your thong will excite their hormones, but they'll think of you as a whore forever after. Has anyone forgotten Monica Lewinsky? She'll always be the chick who showed her thong to THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, no matter what else she does in life.

Second, the parents who are buying thongs for their 15 year old daughters.

????? Seriously? Why does a 15 year old need a thong? What the everloving fuck are these parents thinking???? Isn't it bad enough that all EVERYTHING turns teenage boys on? Do we need to have the girls showing their thongs to the boys IN SCHOOL on top of it?

3rd, the idiotic mother who left her 2 toddlers in the car in 98ยบ degree weather while she went into the store.

It doesn't take long for the car to heat up or for someone to snatch your kids if you leave them unattended while you go buy some fucking milk or whatever the hell is so important that you can't take the time to put your kids into a cart and take them with you.

Aren't you supposed to know everything? Can't you make the parents who are going to do this kind of shit sterile so that they can't have kids to neglect and abuse???

4th, and maybe most importantly, can you make me not want to slap the shit out of every idiot I seem to meet every time I leave the house?

Thank you for your consideration.

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  1. They are like cheese wire?!?! Who would want to wear one in the first place - especially a 15 yo! Maybe it's just me and the way my parents brought me up lol.

    I'm not a mum so I can't lecture but seriously?! Leaving your two toddlers in the car?! I looked after my friends daughter and I was filling up the car with petrol and I opened the drivers window a little (I mean like 3 or 4cm) and locked the doors - because I could see her from the kiosk and knew I'd be a matter of minutes - if I'd been going into the store I'd have got a trolley with a kid seat even if it was just for one bottle of milk or something - cos you can guess she'd run away or something lol.

  2. Han - It is one thing if you can see the child the whole time you're out of the car. But in the grocery store there was no way she could see them the entire time. I can't even see Evan the entire time when I send him in there for milk, LOL. He's almost 15 and I still watch!

  3. First off: The thong thing...the only people that wear them are ones that are truely ignorant to such nasty mess..Lets think about it, u walk around digging it out cha ass...need I say more? UGH!! The person with the baby...It's just sad when just anyone can have kids. Jade

  4. Jade - That's what Evan asked her "Isn't that uncomfortable?" LOL. Seriously, somebody created wedgie free underwear to keep stuff OUT OF THE CRACK! Why wear something that keeps it in your crack on purpose?

  5. There was an horrific thing I was listening to on the radio here about cars that burst into flames when parked because of electrical faults/the sun reflecting on wing mirrors and being focussed on paper or plastic/fuel faults dripping onto exhausts etc etc. I would strongly advise that kids are never left alone in cars now. I remember getting home from shopping, the babies are asleep in the car so, naturally you think I'll just unload the shopping because if I wake them up they'll only be grumpy and get in the way .... luckily nothing happened ..... *phew*. I'm really not an alarmist but this does seem very sensible, if inconvenient, advice.

  6. I say slap 'em. You'd be doing the world a service. Kind of like Bill Engvall and his "Here's your sign" campaign... OK, so he's marketing it like a comedy routine, but really, it's a public service. Your contribution to this field would be a humanitarian work, and God loves that shit.

  7. Aria - After I win the lottery, I will totally do it. For some reason, I don't think Mommy Dearest would like bailing me out every other week...


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