L
et me tell you about my birthday!I woke up this morning to liquid diarrhea.
Then a fucking pterodactyl or some other equally large bird shat on my windshield.Liquid.
Yeah.
I had one dose of Pepto left, so I had to go to Wal-Mart to get some more.
On my way home, I started getting the headache from hell (pretty much the same one I've had for 2 weeks which Demerol isn't even helping).
Then a fucking pterodactyl or some other equally large bird shat on my windshield. Seriously, the splat was like 6 inches wide (maybe a slight exaggeration...)
Of course it had stopped raining by then, so I had to use my windshield wiper fluid to get it off, but it left that long streak of bird shit on the left...
Evan said he was going to walk to my mother's house 2 hours ago.
I called her.
He hasn't even been there.
He left his phone here...
I still don't know where he is.
All in all, it's been a wonderful birthday.
Happy Birthday! Hope you're feeling better.
ReplyDeleteDamn, I popped in to wish you a Happy Birthday, but from the sounds of things it sucked huh?
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better.
(Oh, and I just love the word "shat." And I hardly ever get to work it into a conversation.)
This totally qualifies as the Shittiest (pun intended) birthday ever! I hope the birthday wish fairy makes you well or a millionaire so you can afford like the best doctor ever and a lawyer for when you kill your son. Love ya Lady! Hope it gets wonderful really, REALLY soon!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, hope you get to feeling better, maybe a case of Immodium would be in order.
ReplyDeleteWell Happy Birthday - I do hope you feel better :)
ReplyDeleteWell and that you track down Evan!
DG - Thanks! I'm feeling better today. I've been able to keep the headache at bay. *fingers crossed*
ReplyDeleteMarsha - You clearly don't curse enough...;-p
Aria - As I tell Evan, I can't kill him because there's no one else to do the heavy lifting. But if I could get one of those shock dog collars, that would be cool. ;-)
Mik - That would be a perfect present for me ANY day, especially my birthday, LOL.
Hannah - Turns out he was at my Aunt's house all the time. It just would have been nice to know that. *sigh*
Happy Birthday girl......I'm glad u r feeling better!! I was gonna send Dr. House over to check on ya..but since you are better.......how bout next time?? :) Hey, have you seen "True Blood"....is it any good? Nephew brought it over to me to check out. Take care girly.....Jade
ReplyDeleteMaybe the bird has a diarrhea issue too. I wonder if you can give Pepto to birds? Hmmm....
ReplyDeleteEither way, Happy Birthday! Hope you are....uh...feeling a little more "solid" tomorrow.
Jade - Nope, haven't seen True Blood. If it's on HBO or some other premium network, I haven't seen it. :-(
ReplyDeleteLin - I wonder if diarrhea happens to birds? I don't know if they would drink the Pepto. Maybe immodium since that smells more like nectar? Do you know any ornithologists that we could ask?
Happy belated, I'm sorry you don't feel well. I can't say I'm at my best myself. I'm trying not to give my kids or the hubby this hellacious cough that I have. Feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteShae - Evan's got that cough & refuses to take a breathing treatment.
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon & don't give it to the kids!
I hope I don't catch anything by stopping by. :)
ReplyDeleteI already wished you a happy birthday but it didn't work, I guess. Since it wasn't all that happy. So happy next Friday, K?
Max - Whooooooo hooooooo! I have Friday to look forward too, LOL.
ReplyDelete