Let me tell you about my birthday!
I woke up this morning to liquid diarrhea.
I had one dose of Pepto left, so I had to go to Wal-Mart to get some more.
On my way home, I started getting the headache from hell (pretty much the same one I've had for 2 weeks which Demerol isn't even helping).
Then a fucking pterodactyl or some other equally large bird shat on my windshield. Seriously, the splat was like 6 inches wide (maybe a slight exaggeration...)
Of course it had stopped raining by then, so I had to use my windshield wiper fluid to get it off, but it left that long streak of bird shit on the left...
Evan said he was going to walk to my mother's house 2 hours ago.
I called her.
He hasn't even been there.
He left his phone here...
I still don't know where he is.
All in all, it's been a wonderful birthday.