How to get your mother to do your laundry.

T

his is for people who don't still live with their mothers. People who have been doing their own laundry for 20+ years.

It's easy.

1. Decide what day you need your laundry to be done. Call your mother 2 days before that and ask if you can use her washer to wash "a few things". Say "I wanted to do it tonight, but I'm not feeling well. I think I'm coming down with something."

2. Don't answer your phone for 2 days. In the meantime, be sure to come down with something.

3. On day 3, your mother will come by to check on you. She will ask if you need anything. That's when you tell her about the laundry.

It's easy!

*rolling eyes*

I told you about not getting more than 10 minutes sleep, right? Well, at 1 pm I decided to get in bed. I knew that falling asleep would only mean more of these narcoleptic days and sleepless nights, but I didn't care.

So guess who shows up at 1:30?

Ayuh. Mommy Dearest. At least she didn't bring Chinese food this time. (Did I tell you about that?) She wanted to watch Al on youtube.

Normally, when she walks into my house, the first thing she says is "Oooh, it's cold in here!" and borrows a blanket or something, LOL.

Today she came in and I'm lying under two comforters and the a/c is at 73°. So she starts sweating.

Whatever. She said she was going to watch Al until Evan came home and then she'd take him to her house, feed him dinner and do his laundry.

Cool! :-)

So between 2:30 and 3:30 I took a nap, apparently. I remember the first 5 minutes of CSI: NY (on Spike TV, marathon today) and then when I woke up, it was almost over.

MD - Did I wake you up?
Me - No.
MD - Oh, good. Because I wanted to stretch my legs and use the bathroom, but you were sleeping so good that I just sat here. (Awwww)

When she came back downstairs after her pit stop, she told me that I was snoring for 20 seconds at a time or some shit. Apparently, I was so loud that she heard me over the music (and she listens to it LOUD).

Me - That would explain why my nose feels this way.

Complaint #14 My nose feels like I've sucked up all the air in the tri-county area and/or am getting a sinus infection.

I know I have some flu medicine tablets somewhere. I really don't want to drink that Nyquil shit.

*cries*