Evan came home happier today than any other school year I can remember (Except Kindergarten).
I think he likes the fact that he has 2 coaches for teachers. He doesn't even get a History book (???????) because they are in such bad shape, apparently. The coach said "Homey don't play that" and Evan told him that we have 2 seasons of In Living Color on DVD & the coach said he could bring it some time, just not tomorrow.
The other coach keeps asking Evan to play football... I have no comment.
Evan has decided that he doesn't want to be in the band anymore. :-( But secretly I am thankful that I don't have to pay for that effing sax anymore or a marching uniform, LOL.
Evan - Guess what some of my classmates did when we got to Science class?
Me - Opened up their books to the part where they show penises & vaginas?
Evan - Yep. They're so immature...
Me - Well, not everyone has a mom like me to talk to them about sex. Speaking of which, I read on a blog that England is teaching 11 year olds how to use a condom properly. I guess I'm a bit behind. I'm not going to buy any condoms until I am about to have sex, but you can pretend. *Sticking up my finger & demonstrating how to properly put on a condom.*
Evan - OK! You can stop now!
Me - Well I know I've always told you to wear a condom when you have sex, but I never showed you how to put one on.
Evan - It is not right discussing this with my mother!
Me - You want me to call your uncle? I probably should. He can tell you all kinds of stuff about girls.
Evan - NO!!!!!!!!!!
So then he called MD to tell her about his first day of school. She didn't answer the phone. He left her a message:
"How DARE you not be home to answer the phone and hear about my first day of school & my first day of school gift!"
So, of course, she came over to hear about his first day & see his gift. While she was here, I mentioned to her about explaining how to use a condom to Evan.
MD - You want me to call your uncle to have the sex talk with you?
Evan - NO!
MD - Because we don't want you having any babies!
Me - Not until you have a job & for another 20 years, at least.
MD - Yes, I think I'm going to call your uncle. Tell him to have "The Talk" with you. *winking at me*
Evan - NO, DO NOT do that!
Me - It will probably be fun for him. He doesn't have any sons. And he can tell you all the things girls will say to you to get you to not use a condom.
MD - Yes. Because they'll want to have your baby because you're so handsome.
ME - And so their babies will have "good hair".
Evan - I'm going upstairs.
HA! It's so fun embarrassing Evan, LOL.
I don't know if this video will work, because I've never seen this file extension before...
Just in case, here are some photos of his Rainbow Blob Ball.
No, he's never gotten a "First Day of School" gift before. He gets new clothes & school supplies, that's enough. But today at Wal-Mart I happened to see it and thought it was cool. It was $1.?? so I figured "Why Not?" :-)
His Nana & I had a lot of fun saying "Evan, let me play with your ball." or "Ew, blue balls." & laughing. As a result, he has named it "First Day of School Gift" or FDSG for short. We are no longer allowed to say "Balls"
That is all!