Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Who knew that my mother was so afraid?!?!

Rotating brushes inside a conveyor car-wash.Image via Wikipedia


o last Friday, when I was reading Double Cross, MD stopped by. She wanted to watch Al Green on youtube & she asked if I wanted to ride with her to the grocery store after Evan got home from school.

I said sure.

Before we went to the grocery store, she said she wanted to try out the Automatic Car Wash because I told her that's what I use.

First of all, you can tell she's not used to putting bills into machines (like to get quarters for a dollar bill). She kept trying to shove the $10 bill into the machine.

Me - Give me the bill.
She - Here!

I took the bill & straightened it out for the machine and handed it back to her. She continued to try to shove it in.

Me - OMG. I'll do it!

I got out of the car & put the money in & paid for the Super Deluxe Wash.

Got back in the car.

Me - See that sign that says "Go"? Keep driving until it switches to "Stop".
MD - *Driving very slowly* Keep going?
Me - Keep going until it switches from "Go" to "Stop"
MD - *Hitting a speed bump type thing* OH! Was that supposed to happen?
Me - Yes. Keep going.
MD - *creeping forward at a snail's pace* Still?
Me - *Sigh* Yes. I'll tell you when to stop!

So she finally gets to the right place. The sign switched to "Stop"

Me - Stop.

*Machines get ready to start rinsing the car*

MD - *GASP!* Oh my God! Oh my God!
Me - What? *wondering if she's in pain*
MD - That scared me! You know I get vertigo.
Me - Oh. Well, when it rinses & washes the car, the car will move, but that is normal.

*rinse cycle starts*
MD - OMG! I can't watch! I have to close my eyes!
Me - *speaking very calmly* It's fine. This is all normal.
Evan - What? This is fun!
Me - *to Evan* Shut up.
MD - I couldn't do this alone! OMG!

So all through the wash & rinse & wax & dry I'm trying to keep MD from freaking out, trying to keep Evan from laughing at her, trying not to look at her like she'd lost her fucking mind just in case she opened her eyes to peep.

It was crazy!

We know she's afraid of snakes. She won't even watch them on TV. But I never knew that she'd be so afraid of an automatic car wash. It really wasn't funny. I mean, she acted like she was going to pass out. I felt sorry for her, even though I don't understand that particular claustrophobic type reaction.

I've had inner ear infections, so I understand the vertigo. But I would never have thought that you could get it in a car wash...

I guess she'll never go there again.

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