What I should have posted Sunday #2

My mother called me Sunday
She said she wanted to tape the Superbowl to see Prince at the halftime show.

I asked her what channel it was on. Then on my tv I went to the menu to find when it was coming on.

She said that when she tried to set the DVR to record it, it wasn't coming on at the right time.

I said "It isn't called the Superbowl on the program guide - "
She - But that's what it is!
Me - I know, but it's called -
She - but when I try to record the Superbowl, it's coming on at 2 o'clock and not later when I know it's coming on! Then I tried searching for "The ponies" because I know they're playing.
Me - Did you just say "The ponies?????"
She - Yes.
Me - They're called "The Colts, Tray" (explanation about who Tray is)
She - Well, ponies and colts are all horses
Me - *sigh*
She - I've tried everything I know to get it to record!
Me - IF YOU WOULD LET ME FINISH WHAT I WAS SAYING!
She - *Sigh* Ok, fine. You're evil.
Me - It's called "NFL football" on the guide, not "Superbowl". So record "NFL football" and that will be the superbowl.
She - Is it that time of the month for you?
Me - If you mean is it that time of the month when my son won't shut the hell up for 5 minutes and then my mother calls to ask me something but won't stop talking long enough for me to tell her the answer to the question, then YES. IT IS THAT TIME.
She - Well I was going to come over and watch Al. But if it's "that time" then I won't. I'm glad I called. Evil.
Me - My computer is broken.
She - Oh! What happened?
Me - I just need a new cable, I'll get one tomorrow.
She - Oh, well next time you come over I want you to look at my DVD player because your brother says I need a new cable and I haven't looked at it yet because I have to change the channel and I don't want to mess up the DVR because the TV has to stay on channel 3 or it won't work.
Me - I TOLD you if you just get a tv that's younger than me you will have the proper holes and shit to plug up your DVR AND your DVD AND your VCR that you don't need anymore.
She - I put the VCR in my room. So there!
Me - Goodbye.