Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I want to shoot Kim Kardashian in the face


W

ith a paint-ball gun.

That wasn't the original title of this post, but I realized I'd get more readers with that title. ☺

Now playing: Snow Tha Product - Break 'em

What really started this rant is all the celebrities who don't do ANYTHING in their "field of expertise". They're all media whores doing commercials for makeup, perfume & WTFever.

Admittedly I'm not one of those people watching E! news & reading tabloids or People magazine, but I can't remember the following celebrities doing ANYTHING that originally made them famous. Now all they do is commercials. This irritates me.

  1. Gwen Stefani

  2. Jennifer Hudson

  3. Drew Barrymore

  4. Eva Mendes


Now I would like to thank fucking Jennifer Lopez for A) Replacing Jennifer Hudson as the most irritating commercial on TV. It's so irritating that I think I'm getting more exercise trying to find the damned remote so I can zap through those effing Fiat Commercials.

Fiat, really?

Even if they gave you a free one you wouldn't drive that motherfucker! and 2) I don't give a flying fart about who you are smooshing with and YOU ARE 1 OF THE MAIN REASONS I STOPPED WATCHING AMERICAN IDOL. The judges aren't supposed to cry, Jenny from the block! Go "Dance for your Papi" and get the hell off my damned TV.

Listening to: Lady GaGa - Judas


Kardashian Media WhoresOMLY, as if riding through Wal-Mart on my scooter on Nov 1 and seeing Christmas trees & hearing Christmas music when it's still 70 fucking degrees outside wasn't bad enough, I'm going past the cosmetics area & I see Kardashian Fingernail Polish.

I swear if Wal-mart wasn't the cheapest store around here I would boycott the bitch on principle.

The Kardashians are MEDIA WHORES AND I HATE SEEING THEIR FACES EVERYWHERE I GO!

Listening to: Drake ft. Lil Wayne & Tyga - The Motto

On a side note:

Dear God, please let my anti depressant start working SOON. If it's not the right one, please let me get a better AND CHEAP ONE next time I see my Dr. If Xanax 3 times a day in addition to my AD isn't working I don't know how long I can go without actually cussing someone out or thinking "fuck it" and ramming the next idiot who TRIES to cut me off in traffic. Even my 14 year old cousin recognizes my road rage from the 1 (ONE) time he rode with me.

Even I realize that I don't normally hate everything this much and I'm getting on my own nerves.

If not for me, at least do it for Evan. The poor kid is getting a crash course in "Dealing with Bitches" and he's not even getting laid to put up with me.

In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.


Listening to: Brian McNight - Anytime

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5 comments:

  1. The Kardshitians are doing what they are supposed to... selling themselves out for a fee. What do you expect from a family that rose to fame off of a sex tape?

    And seriously, what is the point of models if every thing is being sold by actresses and singers?

    While I don't dislike Drew, every time I see her CG commercials, my focus goes directly to her twisted mouth. I can not even tell you wtf she is selling because ALL I SEE IS HER MOUTH.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Monique Renae I think I really thought they would GO AWAY because she didn't do anything but a sex tape. No such luck. :-(

    Remember supermodels? Cindy Crawford & Linda Evangelista never pissed me off this much!

    LMAO about Drew Barrymore. I think it's Covergirl that she does, but I'm not sure. I just know that Falsies Mascara is bullshit because it doesn't look anything like I'm wearing false lashes!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love that you end all of this with "In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

    Excellent.

    Oh yeah! LOVE the mood at top!

    ReplyDelete
  4. p.s. My verification word was "bammings."

    I think you need to call your rants bammings from now on and make it a regular feature.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @cardiogirl Well, to whom would I pray if not God in Jesus' name?

    My only other appropriate mood was 'PMSsy' and since I don't keep up with that, I really didn't think that's what it was. Until today, LOL.

    Bammings? Uh, no? I tried to make rants a regular feature but I'm not always feeling Rantish. You're surprised, I know. ;-)

    ReplyDelete

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