Saturday, November 25, 2006


So, I had Thanksgiving dinner at my mother's house.
1) So that I don't have to cook
2) I wasn't cooking anyway and it was free.

First, my grandmother.

Have I ever told you about her?

Wellllll, my mother is just like her mother. That should be enough info, LOL.

My grandmother always says shit to try to get people upset. When I was about 9 and we went down to AL to visit, she used to shove her fingernails under my fingernails just to see if I would scream. (She did this to all my cousins, it wasn't just me she abused.) Anyway, I never screamed so she got over the need to do it to me. (She broke her hip about 10 years ago jumping on my male cousin's one knows why she did it...she's just crazy, I guess.)

Now that we're all older, she just says shit.

Like I have a cousin who's about 400 lbs. My grandmother asked if he ever got any exercise. His sister said "Yeah, when he gets up to go to the bathroom or the kitchen."

But that was ok. That was his sister that said that.

My grandmother said "Well, I can see he hasn't stopped going to the kitchen."

He just rolled his eyes and said "Here we go."

Those 2 (My aunt's children) have lived around my grandmother all their lives, so they are resigned to the fact that she's a nosy meddler. But they haven't realized yet that if they IGNORE HER, she won't continue to torture them.

To me she said "It must be nice being able to eat and not having to cook."

This was supposed to make me defensive or something. Like I should feel guilty going to my mother's house and eating food that I didn't help prepare.

I just said "Yep."

As she was leaving, she said "I'll see you next Thanksgiving!" which is a dig since I never go see her anymore. (I never go anywhere but wal-mart to get food and tp. It's a lot of trouble to drag my happy ass & the walker all over the geedee place and I've told her this before. She can SEE how much effort it takes for me to get around.)

I said "Ok!"

She also told me that the hat I knitted for her a few years ago was the only good present I've ever given to her. I said "I'm glad you like it."



So my mother told EVERYBODY she only cooked for Evan. We had baked chicken (Which I hate. She does it with italian dressing or some shit. I've ALWAYS hated it.), Beef roast cooked in the crock pot, rolls, sweet potatoes with raisins & marshmallows (which I used to like but she added some freaky spice to it and it tasted like shit this time), mac & cheese and stuffing.

The stuffing was good. Homemade. She gave me most of the leftover dressing/stuffing. (Like 3 lbs, LOL.) I LOVE homemade cornbread dressing. That's basically all I had. That and cranberry sauce.

Anyway, I said "I KNOW she only cooked for Evan because there's a big ass pot of mac and cheese AND NO MASHED POTATOES EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS I'VE BEEN CRAVING THEM FOR 2 WEEKS!"

Later on she said "Oh, let me show you the new purse I got!"
I said "I know some people online who are crazy about purses. They go to outlet stores and stuff, post pics of their purses. But the thing you don't seem to realize that the only people who care about purses are the other people who spend that kind of money on purses. I got my purse at Wal-Mart for $12 and I'm happy with that. I don't care about your purse!"


She gave me the most evil look. But I didn't have to look at the gee dee purse!

OOOH! I can't wait for Christmas!

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