It's one of those days...

O

ne of those days when I can't seem to get out of bed.

I was finally able to drag myself out of bed @ 2pm. Only because (get this) I realized that all of my dishes @ Cafe World would spoil if I didn't serve them soon.

......

How effed up is it that the only reason I got out of bed was to play a game???

While I was in bed, I seriously considered planting/cooking stuff that took a couple of days so that I would never have to get out of bed, LOL.

Entyway, whilst sleeping I had a dream about Barack Obama.

I don't remember most of the dream. All I remember is Obama coming into some big lecture hall by himself and standing at a podium. I was on the sitting on the stairs by myself waiting for something. I remember thinking "OMG, I could totally take a picture of THE FREAKING PRESIDENT on my camera phone." But I didn't want to disturb him. He was proud of himself for something.

That's all I remember.

Last night I watched "28 Weeks Later" OnDemand. (Evan has informed me that I shouldn't say "I watched it on OnDemand." Don't tell him that I listened to him. He already thinks I'm an idiot.)

A) I thought I'd already watched the movie because the are 972 films called "28 days/weeks Later". Okay, maybe 4, but you get what I'm saying. But I saw Dude from The Hurt Locker, so I knew I hadn't seen it.

B) Why do all zombies chase after the uninfected? You would think that a brainless eating machine would go for any meat. I don't get it. 700 zombies all chasing after one guy. Why don't they bite each other?

It was a decent flick. I'll watch it again. Might even buy it if The Boy likes it.

What else?

I don't know. My back is starting to hurt.

Sweet dreams, Faithful Reader. I hope to return to make another post before September.

XOXO

It's 5:07 am and I'm awake. Again. YAY!!

T

his is an essay Evan wrote on his 2nd or 3rd day of High School. The teacher read it out loud.

Click the picture to see full size. I will provide a translation in case you have as much trouble reading his handwriting as I do. ☺

This summer had more "exciting" events than previous summers. Exciting meaning swimming. Not much to report, but I'll make it as exciting as possible.

I did not go anywhere. Absolutely no vacations. The farthest I went away from my home...is probably (40 miles away). If this were fiction, I'd probably end up in Japan, or possibly Amsterdam.

Thankfully, not much work. Simple chores every once in a while, but nothing big. By "nothing big" I meant 'nothing I get paid for doing'. Only simple things like washing dishes, taking out the trash, clean my room (which never got done, by the way), stop watching TV, get off the computer...sorry, I was writing my mom's commands.

Alright, the fun part. I went swimming for the first summer in a couple of years! Sometimes at (nearby River), and once at (Nearby public pool).

Obviously, I was being facetious when I wrote "exciting". Oh well... That is what I did this summer.

Isn't he "precious"?

Obviously, I am being facetious when I say "precious".

I'm irritated at him right now because I wanted to ask/tell him something before he went to his 'man cave' but he went upstairs anyway. Now I don't remember WTF it was that I wanted to say.

☺

*sigh*

BTW, this post was started on 8/25. It only took me 5 days to finish! Weeeeeeee.

More on that later. Hopefully today, LOL.

I think I'm raising an awesome kid!

I

know you're used to me complaining about the latest thing that Evan has done to drive me insane, but I have something different to tell you today.

He comes home from school, does his homework without me telling him to and then gets on the computer.

I assume he's talking to his friends or playing a game or something.

Then he says "Do you want to hear these news stories?"

Me - Ok...

So he tells me about the FBI wanting Wikipedia to remove their seal, the same sex marriage debate, the mosque that Muslims want to build near the 9/11 Memorial Site and the Birth Right Debate.

We discuss how I think that a) homosexuality is something you're born with and not a choice and 2) denying homosexuals the right to marry is the same as when they wouldn't let blacks marry whites (and if you go to The Spiritual Athiest's article on Keith Olberman's opinion on Proposition 8 in California, you might learn a little something else I didn't know about blacks & marriage) and the other two articles.

Maybe it's just because he's been raised by me and so I'm his "main influence" in life, but the kid has a really good sense of the issues and what is right/wrong/stupid with the world.

He then said "I wish we could write to the people we vote for in the government to tell them what we want and don't want."

Me - You can. You can probably Google the Senators & Representatives for our state & district and tell them exactly what you think. If you do, make sure you include your age. (I'm thinking my 14 year old has more sense in his head than half the fuckers in DC and they should be shamed by that fact, LOL.)

So I asked him why he was reading the news, assuming he had some kind of project or report to do.

Evan - Why not?
Me - All righty then...

:-)

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Now playing: Miley Cyrus - Can`t Be Tamed
via FoxyTunes

Anywhere but here...

S

o at 6:50 am (AKA 10 minutes before the bus comes) Evan says to me "I think we left all of my blue clothes at the laundromat"

Me - WHAT!?!?!
E - Well I've been looking for them and I can't find any of them.
You're just remembering this NOW?

Me - Oh my God
E - Will you go look for them?
Me - You do realize we did the laundry on Saturday and now it's Tuesday, right? I doubt they're still there.
E - Well will you got anyway?
Me - Yessssssssssssssss
E - I'll be at school
Me - You'd better bet!


10 minutes later

I pull up at the laundromat and his clothes are in the dryer where we left them.

2 blue haired old ladies asked me if the clothes left on the table were mine too.

Me - Nope. I guess forgetting your clothes here is just going around. Make sure you have everything before you leave, LOL.

My antidepressant isn't working...

S

ometimes it's easier than others for me to figure it out, though.

Like if I was crying all the effing time.

Over stupid shit.

Like a commercial that used to make me cry because the baby in it was so freaking cute.

Now I just want to kill everyone. And I'm sleeping ALL THE EFFING TIME.

Like I'm up for an hour and asleep for 4.

????????

Unfortunately, since I had to pay for car insurance, a car tag, school supplies, clothes & the usual monthly shit, I can't afford to go to the doctor to get my meds changed until September.

But at least it will be harder for everyone around me to wait for September than it will be for me.

Muuuuuuuhahahahahahahahah.

☻
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Now playing: Prince - Billy Jack Bitch
via FoxyTunes

Did you know? #2

M

an first believed that a person's soul resided in the head and that a sneeze was actually allowing some of your life to escape.

You know how unsanitary things were back then, so with all the sneezing and then the dying, this just reinforced the belief.

With the teachings of Aristotle & Hippocrates in the 4th century, people began to understand that sneezing was actually the body's way of expelling foreign matter that had gotten into the nostrils.

The Romans then decided that a sneeze was the body's attempt to exorcise a demon or sinister spirit.

When someone sneezed, the Romans said something like "Congratulations" or "Good luck to you".

The actual Christian version of "God Bless You" began in the 6th Century by Pope Gregory. At that time, a plague was raging through Italy with the first symptom being a lot of sneezing. The plague acted so quickly, that very soon after someone started sneezing, they died.

Pope Gregory began appealing to the healthy people to pray for the sick. He insisted that phrases like "May you enjoy good health" be replaced with "God Bless You!"

If no one was around, the sneezer had to say "God help me!"

With so much death being associated with sneezing, this is also where the phrase "Not to be sneezed at" began.

Sneezing ain't no joke.



For the good of your fellow humans, please cover your mouth and nose when sneezing.

As an interesting experiment, every time I hear someone sneeze this coming week, I'm going to say "Congratulations! You just exorcised a demon. Praise the Baby Jesus!" (with a serious Southern accent, of course).

I just want to see what they'll do.

:-)

I fall down go boom!

W

here shall I begin?

Earlier this week, Mommy Dearest had some dental surgery. She told me she was going to have it, but I'm just thinking it was a root canal or something. But no, they actually put her under anesthesia & whatnot.

So...let's say Tuesday, because I don't remember what day it was -

I stayed with her all day. Fixed her soups, gave her ice packs, blah blah.

I don't know if I've told you this before, but being around "people" wears me out physically. It doesn't matter who they are.

I can handle Evan. Or I can handle Mommy Dearest. Dealing with both of them at the same time is worse than going to court and testifying for my own defense. (Not that I've ever done that, but I imagine I'd have an easier time doing that and not feel so worn the eff out afterwards.)

Anyway, I told The Boy that we'd go see Dinner for Schmucks on Wednesday.

But Wednesday I was so worn out from Tuesday that I slept all day.

I mean, I went to sleep on Tuesday night @ about 10 pm and didn't wake up again until 2 am on Thursday. Watched TV until 4 am, went back to sleep. I don't even remember using the bathroom.

So Thursday I went to pay my car insurance in person, because I wanted to get on the monthly payment plan instead of having to pay one big bill every six months.

After that, we went to see the movie.

I got out of the car and looked at the 8 inch curb. I've been walking pretty good w/o the use of a walker lately, but I still don't completely trust my left leg not to collapse on me.

So I took the "safe route" and was going to walk up the handicapped ramp thingee. You know what I mean, where they - uh- slope the curb for people with wheelchairs and whatnot.

Anyway, I started walking up the slope instead of risking my life stepping up onto the curb and my "special leg" locked the fuck up and wouldn't bend or I tripped, or my foot slipped?

All I know is that I had all my weight on that leg.

I believe I had time to say "Oh shit!" and then I was down in the parking lot.

Did I mention it was like 105 degrees that day?

Luckily, I had my sweater because for the past 3 or 4 weeks, I've been freezing. Freezing like my 90 year old grandmother's house (which usually has me burning up) is cold. I have goosebumps all the time. Even when I'm sweating.

So I put the sweater down under my arm & left leg and sat there with my right leg under the car.

Some 80 year old dude (probably not 80, but he looked older than Methuselah) asked if I was ok or if he could help me up. He even asked if I needed an ambulance? (Wondering WTF I looked like if he thought I needed an ambulance, LOL.)

So he & Evan helped me up.

Then we went to see the movie.

I will tell that story next time I get online.

But if you're planning to go see "Dinner for Schmucks", I'd go see "The Other Guys" or "Salt" first. Not that the movie was bad, it just wasn't as funny as I thought it would be.

Now I have to use the damned walker because my left knee really hurts and is swollen.

I felt my knee hyper extend all the way back before I fell. It bent so far the wrong way that I'm thrilled that I fell.

Seriously.

It stopped the immediate searing pain.

The only positive thing I can say about this week is that we got all of Evan's school shopping done TAX FREE.

If you live in TN or AL, clothes, school supplies, computers are all tax free this weekend until Sunday Midnight.

You're welcome.

Just a quick note

T

o tell you about the "special" people in my family.

First, we went to go see my 90 year old grandmother this weekend. She said "Good God, Evan. What size are your feet?"
Evan - "12"
She - "Oh" Then she looked over her glasses @ me like "So he has a big penis."
Me - OMG.

Today Mommy Dearest took us out to Western Sizzlin. On the way back I was feeling a bit gassy.

Me - I have gas
MD - In your butt?
Me & Evan - LOAO.
Me - Yessssssss, what else would I be talking about?
MD - Well, I though you were talking about in your car.

??????????

How random is that. Why would I mention that I have gas in my car?

Whatever.

They's insane.

I think that's where Evan gets it. ;-p

Growing up Twisted

T

his week, after seeing Dee Snider (of Twisted Sister fame) on The Wendy Williams show, I decided to check out his new reality show on A&E (Tuesdays at 10/9c).

The quick and dirty review is that they are the Osbournes without the addiction problems or yelling.

:-)

There is a lot of crying.

Mama starts to cry when she thinks one of her kids has gotten a tattoo because it's "so white trash"

The 13 year old girl throws a fit when they take apart her rusty trampoline for their granddaughter's christening.

Mama cries after she realizes that removing the tat of Dee's name from her shoulder really hurt him, so she gets another tat.

The oldest son cries when he sings to his baby at the christening. (It was emotional. I even teared up a bit.)

Um, I'm sure there was more crying.

The kids are totally disgusted by the fact that after 34 years, their parents still have sex and their mother dyes her pubic hair.

Son A - Mom, who does this? No one even has pubic hair anymore!
Dee - That's something new. The old schoolers all have pubic hair.

They're a funny family. And, as Dee said on Wendy, none of his 4 kids have been arrested for DUI or gone to rehab.

If you liked The Osbournes or Gene Simmon's Family Jewels, you will like this too.

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Now playing: Twisted Sister - We're Not Gonna Take It
via FoxyTunes