That's what I thought...

M

y evil plan worked.

Muuuuuuhahahahaha

So yesterday we went over to my mother's at noon to feed the puppy because MD was at church.

Then we brought her to my house to give her a bath.

She was so good in the bath, y'all. She didn't shake water all over the place, she didn't even whine. She just sat there and took it. I mean, she stared at Evan the whole time, but she was SO GOOD! Then she let me blow dry her & get between her paws & all of that. Then when we brought her down, she just sat.

She stayed at Evan's side, but she just sat. So good!

Then we went to do the laundry and she just sat beside us on the ground. Another puppy was there. I was fine when they were just sniffing each other, but when the other dog barked & put her paw on OUR puppy's head, I went Ceasar Milan on her Rottweiler ass and told her to get away.

Whatever, puppy was an angel.

Then we took her back to my mother's house where she (my mother) proceeded to complain about how the dog would jump all over her and how she knocked over her water bowl & blah blah blah.

So after we got home, Evan & I were both thinking about the puppy & how one day we might go over to MD's and she would be gone. So Evan called her at 9 pm and said that we'd pick her up after weight lifting today and let her live here until she got too big for the apartment.

:-)

My mother called me this morning & expressed how much she worried about the puppy overnight and that she'd already called the vet and that we (she & I) needed to take her ASAP to get her shots.

Then when I got over there, she told me that she doesn't want us to keep the puppy because she needs to get used to living at MD's house.

So first she wanted to name the dog KiKi, but I reminded her of her granddaughter's name (Key/KiKi is a nickname for both my niece and my cousin, LOL) so I said "How about Tiki? We can just say you named her after Tiki Barber."

She didn't know who that was, but I said "You can Google him. He's a retired football player."

So, yeah. MD's in love with Tiki. She claims she just knows how much Evan loves the puppy.

But if she didn't want the dog, she would not have paid for her to get shots already.

So Mommy Dearest now has someone to care for. Which is what I think she needed to get her more...happy. Or something. Plus don't they say people with pets live longer?

Whatever.

Tiki's got the job of keeping my mother getting out of bed for the next 10 years at least, LOL. Starr lived for 16 years. I don't know if that's normal or not.

:-)

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Now playing: George Clinton - Atomic Dog
via FoxyTunes

BTW, this was Starr. The smartest dog in the world. She died in 2006.

I got my mother a dog

A

s you may know, her last dog died a couple of years ago.

She's been saying she wanted another one for quite some time. But every time I saw "Free Dogs" anywhere and called her, she was like "No, I don't want a boy dog." or "No, I don't want a black dog." or "No, I don't want a chihuahua." Blah blah blah.

So this chick had a truck full of lab/collie mix pups. One was light tan. Similar to her old dog (Evan said he didn't want her to get one that looked like Starr) but darker.

Anyway, I called her and said "But she's cute! She has blue eyes."
MD - All puppies are cute.
Me - Ok, so I'll bring her home.
MD - I don't want a puppy blah blah mothefreaking blah
Me - Yeah, we're on our way. I'll bring her by.
MD - *click*

WTFever.

She needs a freaking dog, LOL. (Or a man, but I don't see that happening).

OMG, the puppy stank.

I had the windows down.

Jaysus.

Whatever.

The puppy loves Evan & Evan loves her already. We haven't agreed on a name.

My mother said it's Our dog that we keep at her house because she has a yard.


I just call her StinkyUh huh.

But she gets to pick the name.

First she wanted to name her something like Chi-Chi or whatever.

Evan vetoed that.

Then she wanted to name her Angel.

I said "MY NAME is Angelika! NO"

So, the puppy doesn't have a name yet.

I just call her Stinky, LOL.

Here are a couple of pics.

I was trying to get her blue eyes, but you can't see them.

Law Abiding Citizen

★★★★★ Buy it. That's all.

(Edited 2/18/10 - 5:42PM) Monique - Gerard Butler plays a husband and father. One day some dudes break into his house and kill his wife and child.

Jamie Foxx plays an Assistant District Attorney who makes a deal with the killer so that the killer gets out of prison in 3 years and the accomplice gets the death penalty.

10 years later, when the dude who didn't do the actual killing is about to be "put to sleep" he actually bleeds out and is in a lot of pain.

Butler catches the guy who actually killed his family & dismembers him.

He tells Jamie Foxx "Drop all charges and let me out of this prison by 6 am tomorrow or everybody dies."

Jamie doesn't believe him.

Everybody dies.

WATCH IT!

This is the one where I marry my BFF

I

have to say that I am surprised that I only got one comment about yesterday's post when I said "I was going to talk about my wife...".

You people either aren't reading, or you are more entertained by my pain than my lesbian relationship.

Here she is, in all of her glory. Angela aka Tae Kwon Ho, Bama Lover, Ass Wiper & Life Saver, etc. She's hott, right? I know!

We met when I was 19 and got my first "real job" working as a receptionist at an investment advisory firm. Angela was my supervisor. But we became friends as soon as I realized she wasn't really a Ho, that's just what her friends who called the office called her because I was new & they thought it was funny. (I was a very uptight virgin back then, you have to realize how shocked I was by a woman who was proud of being a Ho, LOL.)

Angela taught me Ebonics. Furreal. As much as I hate to say it, this is where the comparisons to Oprah began. Not with Angela, but it's the only way I can get you to understand how I spoke. Fuck that. Let's say I sounded like...Julie Chen. I can live with that.

So anyway, I was very uptight and Angela was very at peace with who she was. I don't remember how long I worked there, but I was there when she was pregnant with her 3rd child. She was there when I lost my virginity & had to call in sick because my cooch was so sore that I could barely walk. She was the one who cut the cord when Evan was born (she's his Godmother). She was the first person I let babysit Evan overnight. Yes, before I let Mommy Dearest keep Evan overnight, LOL.

Angela was my first real friend. The kind of friend who knows all of your faults and quirks and loves you to death anyway.

She's also my longest friendship. It will be 20 years next year! OMG. She's getting old. But not me. :-)

Entyway, the other day I realized that I was getting 75,006 ads to "Date Black Men" on Facebook. I mean, I found the number of ads for that one thing to be unusually high. How do they know I like black men? Do they realize that most of the black men around here date white women? How do they know I don't like Asian women? In my profile, I checked the box that said I was interested in FRIENDSHIP. Not love, or relationships or whatever the hell they call it. So:



According to Facebook, I am now married. My ads are about Uggs, financial advice, creating ads & testing a MAC now. LOL.

Anyway, I love Angela 2nd most of all the people I know in my life. 2nd only to our love child, Evan. She used to embarrass me by telling anyone who asked who Evan was when he was staying with her "Oh, he's my love child with my BFF."

She crazy.

But I love her crazy ass. :-)

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Now playing: Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl
via FoxyTunes

OH.EM.GEE

I

was going to post about my wife & how we met, but I dropped the remote so I leaned over in my computer chair to pick it up and the effing thing BROKE.

It's at least 7 years old. Evan already caused the back of it to fall off because he was always leaning waaaaaaaaay back in it.

Anyway, as I leaned over to get the remote, one of the five legs broke off and I landed on the damned glass aquarium. Evan broke that by running into it or falling, (whatever) and kicking it with his big ass foot. So we had been using it as a garbage can beside the computer desk. I 'fixed' it by using clear contact paper. But now both long sides are broken, so I guess it's dumpster bound.

So now I have a big fucking gouge in the linoleum.So I'm trying to push myself out of the chair so I can get up. The fucking chair wouldn't move.

Try to picture this: I fell in a place between the couch & end table at my back and the computer desk at my knees. I couldn't grab the computer desk to help myself up because EVAN BROKE THAT TOO and the only thing holding it up is duct tape and a cane. I had to push my back into the corner of a table that's beside the couch. It dug into my back. But finally I was able to lay straight down on the floor & rest for a bit before I got up.

The chair wouldn't move because the broken part of the chair dug into the linoleum.

Now I have a big fucking gouge in the linoleum. And one in my back.

I "fixed" the chair by Super Gluing the leg back on and duct taping the shit out of it, LOL.

It's not like I'm going to go to Wal-Mart right now just so I can get a new computer chair. Who do you think I am???

AND I broke a nail! :-(

I shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning... And it's all Evan's fault.

*sigh*

I guess I'll talk about my wife some other time.

Muuuuhahahahaha

But will it send you to Hell???

I

watched Private Practice last night.

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Now playing: Ke$ha - Blah Blah Blah (Feat. 3OH!3)
via FoxyTunes

On the show, a married couple had twin 8 year olds with leukemia (or something) so they had a baby for the cord blood to try and cure them (or put them in remission, I don't know about that disease). They only had enough cord blood to save one of them. The mother couldn't make a choice between them, so she wanted to let them both die. The dad was able to choose between the daughters. The mother said to him "You're going to Hell!"

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Now playing: Jamie Foxx/Lil Wayne - Blame It Ft T-Pain
via FoxyTunes

So it got me thinking, does God send you to Hell for making a choice that He made you make?

I mean, He's the one who gave the girls leukemia. He's the one who let the parents have a baby for the sole purpose of saving the twins. So just because a parent can choose which child to save, is that reason enough to send him to Hell?

I mean, I have my issues with God as you know (if you're a regular reader of this blog), so I wouldn't put it past Him to be a stickler on this one point. He's the one who said that all sins are equal & that thinking about doing something is as bad as doing it. (Don't ask me for references. Do the research yourself. But trust me, it's in there. I don't remember if it's old or new testament, though.)

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Now playing: Black Eyed Peas - The Boogie that Be
via FoxyTunes

In other words, just thinking about what it would feel like to strangle my son and shake him back and forth until he comes to his senses or passes out is just as bad as when some perv molests a child. All sins are equal, remember?

If it weren't for Jesus dying on the cross for our sins, no one would get to Heaven.

Sorry, tangent.

ENTYWAY...do you think that being able to choose between your children makes you a bad person?

I don't.

I don't give a shit what people with multiple children say, how can you not like one child more than another?

I'm not talking about loving them. I understand that you can love them all equally. But what if one of your children is awesome & one is a brat? How can you not "like" the awesome child more?

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Now playing: Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow
via FoxyTunes

All of us with siblings always feel like our parents liked/preferred one child more than the other.Which is one of the reasons I never had another child. Evan was a perfect baby. He's still a good child, no matter how much he gets on my nerves during this trying phase in his life that makes me want to smack some black onto him. But another child could not possible measure up to the perfect child I had for the first 4-5 years, LOL. And it could be ugly too. I mean, I'd still love it. But I think it would know that I favored Evan.

All of us with siblings (that I know, anyway) always feel like our parents liked/preferred one child more than the other. I think I was my father's favorite. I think MD's favorite changes with her mood, but her mood has never swayed in my direction, LOL.

Not having multiple children, I don't really know how I would feel, I can only speculate.

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Now playing: Chuck Brown - Bustin Loose
via FoxyTunes

What do you think?

I'm not getting in a theological debate with you. I don't care if you believe in God & Heaven or Hell. It really isn't the point. Do you think you could choose between your children, and if so, does that make you a "bad" person?