Time After Time

You Are "Time After Time"

If you were transported back to the 80s, your life would be all about reflecting. You're a serious, earnest person - and you couldn't help but think a lot about how things were back then. You'd spend a lot of your time writing, researching, and learning. You would either become a social anthropologist - or a crazy guru with a knack for predicting the future.

What's Your 80s Karaoke Song?

As I was dropping the kids off at the pool

I

started thinking about Eternity.

Like after Jesus comes back & there's that whole war against Evil & then God decides who gets to have eternal life and who gets death (the wages of sin is death, not burning for all eternity in a fire, BTW.)

First, where are we all going to live? Because God said that "The meek shall inherit the earth."

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Now playing: Harry Connick Jr. - Recipe for Love

So after we are the bitches of all the people who really know how to enjoy life meek & get to live forever, we are crowded on Earth.

Maybe it really won't be that many people, LOL.

But just say that half of the people who ever lived from the beginning of time lived on the earth right now. We'd be living in little pods in ginormous buildings like the Coffin Hotel Tourists in Japan, right?

There's not enough space for that many people unless God gets rid of all the deserts and the antarctic and converts it to paradise, is there?

AND what is paradise to me isn't necessarily paradise to you. So some of us would enjoy the cold weather of the north pole. Some would be happy living in the "dry heat" Arizona. Others would want the humid heat of the effing south (???).
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Now playing: UB40 - Red Red Wine

I can't comprehend how they'd all fit.

Now, what would we eat? Unless God made it reaping season all year long, we'd run out of mangos. Everyone needs a good mango every now and then, don't you think?

Would we have to make our own bread or would he let the bread factories remain? Would we be eating Manna from Heaven all the time?

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Now playing: Apollonia 6 - Sex Shooter

I can eat the same thing night after night for a while. Like Tuna fish sammiches. But after a while, I need something else. I think I'd get tired of Manna..

So, does God appreciate modern conveniences? Or is he like my frigging mother who made me mow her 1 acre lawn with a push mower when I was a teen because "hard work builds character" but then got a riding mower the second I went off to college?

Can we still have our microwaves & DVR?

Will there be TV & internet? If there is, will it be "All God, all the time?"

I enjoy a Joyce Meyer sermon every once in a while, but if the only thing I could watch was The Christian Network, I'd rather not watch TV.

Would we only be able to listen to Christian Music/Gospel? Does God consider Kirk Franklin's music truly worthy? Would the radio only play Elvis' gospel music???

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Now playing: Van Halen - Right Now

I really have to be in the mood to hear "praise music". Especially if it's Elvis. (Sorry Omah, I know you love you some Elvis Gospel...)

One of the things I enjoy about living in this time right now is the diversity of the music. I can go from Ludacris to Duran Duran to James Brown to The Glen Miller Orchestra if I want to.

I've never heard a really good Christian Rap group. I haven't been looking, but you get my point, LOL.

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Now playing: Duran Duran - Rio

The thing that interests me the most is sex.

I'm assuming that God would only let you have sex with your spouse. He doesn't think that pre-marital sex is a good idea, so you'd have to hope that your spouse was good in bed (or could learn to be good).

God said that thinking about committing a sin is as bad as doing it, so would the people who saw David Beckham and fantasized about riding him like a horse immediately die, or would they just get a warning?

Because if they just died, I think a lot of people would die unexpectedly all the freaking time!

Is oral sex ok with God? I'm sure it's in the bible that men aren't supposed to "spill their seed" and therefore, masturbation is a sin. So men can't masturbate anymore (and neither can I?!?!?!). Which means that we'll always have to have sex with them, even though they suck (because we couldn't "test drive" them before signing on the eternal dotted line) when they want it because there's no other release for them?

What about positions? Is Missionary the only acceptable position? *shudder*

Sexual thoughts pop into my head all the time! See, I'd be dead right now...

Forget about sex.
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Now playing: Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney - Say, say, say

I lived with a guy for a year. Just a year. By the end of the year, I couldn't stand the way he breathed.

Can you imagine ETERNITY with the same person? Have you ever paid attention to old married couples? They don't talk to each other. There are only so many times you can pretend to be interested in his recycled stories and jokes. Imagine 3,000 years of that shit.

Will God allow us to change partners after a while? Like once a century or millennium we can get a new ride spouse?

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Now playing: The Clash - Rock the Kasbah

Will there be babies & children?

Will the people who died before age 18 grow up and then just stop? Or will they stay babies forever? Can we have new babies? Because if we can, we come back to the whole "How will everyone fit?" question.

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Now playing: Stray Cats - Rock this town

Are there pets in heaven? Are there lions? So are we always walking around dodging Rhino scat or what? Will that be someone's job? Picking up poop? For eternity?

Will we switch chores every thousand years?

Time flies when you're having fun...

Eternity shoveling poop as a vocation and then going home to a man who has a toddler penis and always prematurely ejaculates and snorts when he laughs and isn't all that funny to me anyway does not sound like fun.

Thank God I only think about crap like this when I'm on the terlet, or my head would explode...

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Now playing: Johnny Gill - Rub You the Right Way

Thursday 13 - 1/29/09

F

ollowing is a list of 13 bloggers who piss me off for various reason. For those of you who weren't aware, I am a closeted Hater. From the Urban Dictionary:


By closeted, I mean that you probably don't know that you piss me off, not that I'm gay (although there's nothing wrong with that). I decided to come clean today. :-)

Carol @ She Lives because she's funny. Every day. EVERY.DAY. If there's a post on her blog that isn't funny, I've forgotten it. I don't comment on her blog every day because I have nothing to add other than "That was funny!" which would only make me feel more like an unfunny loser. *sniffle*

Cardiogirl because she has those Chuck Taylor mood indicators. I love those! But if I suddenly had them on my blog, everyone would know I was all up on her jock, so I can't. *throwing Toddler Fit* AND because she finds something about which to write every day. ??? Do you know how long I have to sit here to think of a topic some days? WTF???

Russ Dale @ RAD because he's comfortable with his genius/insanity. I don't understand half of what he writes because he's too smart and the other half is just insane. For Example: Star Trek Barbies?? And he doesn't even care! Anyone who loves Biscuits, Gravy and Lard that much has a problem (and I don't mean clogged arteries).

Monique @ Blogging MoRe. Her blog is funny & the layout is very clean an enviable, but that's not why I hate her. I hate her because her handwriting is so neat, it's like frigging font. WHO WRITES THAT WAY? It's abnormal! She's a Stepford Writer. I don't know if this is actually her signature, but the font (writing) certainly looks like it. You're not supposed to be able to write on unlined paper without having your lines tilt up or down, for Cheesus Sake.

Blanca DeBree. She's so right wing that it's laughable. ;-) I don't know where she comes up with the stuff she writes. Who thinks like that?? Probably a lot of people. I hate her because even though I don't agree with her at all, I can't stop reading.

Stud Kickass because all he has to do is post a new cartoon every day. Something tells me he does cartoons in his spare time anyway, so how hard is it to post one on his blog?

The Offended Blogger. Another neat & clean layout. Another person who can be offensive/outrageous and funny. Another person who comes up with things to write about on a regular basis. I hate her for all of those reasons.

Ok, so that was only 7. Sue me.

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Now playing: Will Smith - I Wish I made that via FoxyTunes

Thank God I don't look like that...

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Sometimes I make me sick

B

ecause I feel like such a whiner. I hate whining. I hate complaining. I especially hate it when I'm the one who's doing it.

I am the first person to tell others "If you don't like your situation, change it." So why do I find it so hard to do myself???

Sometimes I feel like all I ever write about on this blog is what's hurting or irritating on my body & what crap I watch on TV.

Which is why I make me sick.

I wonder if I can go a week without complaining about my body at all? Will I have anything to write about?

Maybe I just need some writing prompts to distract myself from the boring (to me) crap that is my life.

Or I could just make something up.

I did that once. When some people believed that it was true (like my BFF???), I was offended/disappointed.

I wonder if you could tell the difference between my normal bullshit and my fake bullshit?

:-)

But before I stop whining & start making shit up, let me tell you the latest.

In addition to the percussion in my ear (which has changed from 5 seconds on & 3 seconds off to 1 hour on, 3 seconds off, 44 minutes on, 10 minutes off, etc) there is a new symptom that I'm experiencing. (JOY!)

First, I must thank Baby Jesus that this new symptom is not painful. It's just irritating.

I get little "shocks" or "jolts" all the time.

It's hard to describe.

At first I thought it was just when I said words with hard consonants. Like Stop or Quit. Then I thought that it was just when I raised my voice. Not yelled, just spoke above a whisper.

Evan enjoyed listening to me talk without saying words with a hard "T" or a hard "P" for a while.

I was saying stuff like "son, don be so lou. I have an... a pain in my hea"

Then I got extremely sleepy at 8 for no reason. I slept through most of "Fringe". Then I was wide awake.

Whatever.

Now I'm just experiencing these jolts or shocks constantly. I really wish I could explain it.

You know when you get scared/startled and your heart jumps?

It's that feeling, except all the time. I blink, it happens. I move suddenly, it happens. My tongue hits the roof of my mouth, it happens.

It's kind of like being High without the pleasure, LOL.

And the top of my right thumb is numbish. Just that one part?

WTF is going on?????????????

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Now playing: Jay-Z - Hard Knock Life via FoxyTunes

One Way Out

O

ne way out is a new show on the Discovery Channel that premiered last night.

We love it!

This guy, Jonathan, is an escape artist. He finds situations in which there is only one way to escape. Last night he escaped from a box while he was covered with bees. He had to get out in 30 seconds or before the box (which was on a washing machine) started shaking and agitating the bees.

For practice, he "handcuffed" himself to a table and then had a live scorpion in his mouth so that he could get used to escaping with minimal movement and not reacting violently to the stings of the scorpion.

He also went with his friend Mike (hilarious) to a Bee Farm to find out the most sensitive places on the body (that could be shown on TV) to be stung by a bee.

Then he had a 2nd show where he was handcuffed (or whatever) and had to escape from a dumpster filled with ice water and a 3 inch thick layer of ice on the top of it.

It's like...what David Blane would be if he had any emotions and was exciting and wanted to entertain his audience instead of just himself.

:-)

You have to watch this show. Mondays @ 9pm EST (and multiple times after that, you know how cable is...)

At least go watch THIS CLIP. I couldn't find a way to embed the video. :-(
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Now playing: Robert Tepper - No Easy Way Out via FoxyTunes

Crap I watched this weekend

I

watch a lot of crap. Not on purpose. But I watch it to see if I'll like it, and then I find out "No, that was a waste of 43 minutes (approx 1 hr minus commercials & theme song)".

I watched "Look around you" on Cartoon Network because 1) it was only 15 minutes and b) I thought I'd heard something about it somewhere. It's a British show, allegedly done in 2005, but it looks like the 70s. The episode I watched was about Germs.

So Scientist Guy goes and gets some water from an overflowing Septic Tank and puts some in the mouth of Volunteer 1. Then V1 coughs on Volunteer 2. They take his temperature rectally every hour for the next 4 hours. V2 has a temperature of 107 by the last hour and they wish him well.

That's it.

Stoopit. But I couldn't stop watching?

I tried to watch "Chaser's War on Everything" on G4. Couldn't do it. Another stoopit show.

It wasn't really stupid, it was just so repetitive (the part I watched). They had a Trojan horse and wanted to see if places that are supposed to be secure would let it in. The idea is funny. But seeing 7 (estimation) different places let the thing in without question gets old fairly quickly.

I watched it because I saw the ad that said "Can someone who looks like Bin Laden get close to Pres. George Bush?"

I'm assuming he did. I just don't care enough to watch the rest of the show.

What really shocked the poop out of me was this season's Gone Country. Kudos to them for finally having a season where almost everyone is actually an accomplished singer/musician before they start.

What surprised me was the inclusion of Sheila E and George Clinton in the cast.

Yes.

Glamourous Life singer & Godfather of Funk are going country.

I can't WAIT to see this, LOL.

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Now playing: Billy Preston - Nothing From Nothing via FoxyTunes

I saw this on Bonnie Hunt

B

onnie Hunt loves the internet, apparently.

She's the one that had Shane Mercado on her show.

Today she had the creator of Cute Thing Falling Asleep and Cute Things Laughing.

I will be spending a lot of time there when I need something to make me laugh/smile. :-)

It's Friday - 1/23/09

I

only have a few High Fives this week and I really don't feel like going through all the crap to try to make this post pretty. So here they are, in order of discovery:

New Company Logos
Big bad wolf finally gets Frosty the Snowman
Post Traumatic Christmas Disorder
OMG, I love this! Korean Mariah Carey
Picnic Supplies

Thanks, CardioGirl!

B

ecause I was debating whether to do a Thursday 13 about "Why I love my period" (I couldn't think of any reasons) or "New shows I'm watching" when I visited her blog.

She thought she had a big head @ 23½ inches.

HA!

Mine's 24 inches.

First, I had to grab my fro (I recently took my braids out)

Then I pulled my hair as tight as I could & put a rubber band around it. Then I added a headband to make sure that the rubber band didn't explode (my hair is thick, y'all). Then I measured my head.



I measured it above the ponytail (24 inches) and below the ponytail (24½ inches) and because I refuse to believe that my head is that big, I decided to stick with the 24 inches. I pulled it as tight as I could.

Which is why I thanked my Secret Santa for the Chapeau this Christmas, but gave it to Evan.

Because my head is too big to comfortably wear hats.

It's cool when I have a headache, because cutting off the blood circulation to my head often makes my headache lessen. But not cool if I don't want a muffin top around my head...

I remeasured without the headband & realized that I was sticking my thumb under the tape measure. So my head is actually 23½ inches.

*sigh*

So my head isn't as big as I thought.

But it's still ginormous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Big head, big brain." That's what I always tell baby headed Evan & MD whenever they make fun of me for leaving the headphones extended all the way out.

:-)
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Now playing: Prince & The New Power Generation - Jughead via FoxyTunes

Why?

Your Word is "Why"

You see life as complicated and intriguing. The only thing you know for sure is that you haven't figured it all out yet. You question everything and believe very little. And whatever you believe is likely to change. You are interested in theories, philosophies, and religions... even if you don't buy into any of them. You are also fascinated by how things work. You'd like to understand as much in the world as possible.

What's Your Word?

I'm fiddnuh go crazy

B

ecause since I woke up this morning, morse code has been tapped out in my ear every 3 seconds.

....

Try to imagine that.

Every three seconds, you hear percussion in your ear.

It doesn't hurt, but it doesn't go away either.

With an ear plug it just gets louder.

*sigh*

"We are getting aggravated."

The first person to tell me what movie that line is from gets 1000 EC credits.

Yesterday - 1/19/09

I

called MD to see how she was doing (much better) and listened to her talk for 9 minutes & 43 seconds about watching all the shit today about Martin Luther King Jr & Barack Obama.

She finally took a breath and said "You don't really understand, do you?"
Me - I understand what it feels like to have never thought I'd see a black president in my lifetime. I was excited after he won, not so much today. Still have to see if he gets killed tomorrow or if he actually gets in the oval office. But I understand it being much more moving to you than for me.

Plus...I just don't get that excited about shit.

We don't really know Obama. Whatever he's planning won't take effect right away. It probably won't change my life that much regardless (unless I stop having to pay deductible/co-pay for Dr visits and Medicare finally starts paying for Dentists & Optometrists).

Even if I did get excited over things, I couldn't sustain excitement for MONTHS.

*sigh*

But I am excited that I got three (3) blog awards yesterday! 3 awards that I've never gotten before, even! :-)

The first 2 are from Aria @ Aria's Ink




I'm supposed to name 10 bloggers & tell 10 facts about myself. I just gave awards last week or something. Let me think about it for a minute.

The 3rd is from Tim @ Breathing In. It is actually 3 awards in 1.



Copying from Tim's post:

The Three in One award denotes, “Blogs of attitude and gratitude, a member of a proud sisterhood, and a best friend of all blogs.”

Some of the blogs he reads are blogs I read too, so I don't want to repeat the same people, LOL.

Plus...I already gave some awards out last week.

I just didn't want Aria or Tim to think I wasn't appreciative of the award or whatever.

So I'll definitely give them out.

Just not today.

And I have some gingerbread cookies to eat...so bye! ;-)

I stole this from Facebook

I

don't usually go there, but whatever.

What is your worst pet peeve about texting?
Getting texts from strangers asking me where Julie is or what I'm listening to right now.

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night?
Pttttt. I rarely get 8 hours of sleep.

Have you ever gotten alcohol poisoning?
No.

Why did you kiss the person you last kissed?
I kissed Evan because he said "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Who is your best friend?
Sunshine

Have you ever been arrested?
NO.

What do you usually do right when you wake up?
Try to remember if it's a school day and if Evan got on the bus.

Do you find the opposite sex confusing?
Sometimes.

Tattoos?
No.

Do you have a thing for anyone you hung out with this week?
I haven't "hung out" with anyone.

Does anyone know your myspace password?
No.

What are you listening to?
My name is Earl.

How is your hair?
Half braided, half not.

How long does it take for you to take a shower?
15 mins

Where were you last night?
home

What' s the last thing you ate?
gingerbread cookies

What is the last letter of your middle name?
N

How did you feel when you woke up today?
sleepy

Your ex calls you and says he/ she wants you back, what do you do?
tell him I'll have sex with him, but then he has to leave.

What are you thinking right now?
Why is The Boy so flipping irritating?

Do you wish someone was with you right now?
No

What time did you go to sleep last night ?
after 3:30 a.m.

Is someone on your mind right now?
No. Who writes this shit?

Do you believe in love?
No.

Do you curse a lot?
Fuck yeah!

Are you too forgiving?
LMFAO! No.

Do you want someone you can't have?
Not really.

Would you rather live in Alaska or Texas?
Alaska. It's cold there.

Did you mean it when you said "I love you" last?
Yes. I've never lied to Evan about loving him.

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
Yes.

Does anyone hate you for no reason?
Don't know, don't care.

Do you think your last ex deserves to die?
No. Jail, maybe, LOL.

Who was the last person you talked to in person ?
Evan, dur.

Who did you last talk to on the phone ?
MD

Plans for tonight?
No

Who was the last person you gave up on?
Former Neighbor.

Do you think relationships are ever worth it?
rarely

If you could pack up and move, would you?
If I didn't have to pay to get my cable & electricity switched over, sure!

Do your parents really know you?
No one really knows me.

What are you wearing right now?
Jeans & sweatshirt

What do you want right now?
$$$

Does anyone like you?
Don't care.

Who was the last person to call you?
MD

Whats your mood?
blah

If you took a drug test would you pass it?
Yes

Whens the last time you cried?
I don't remember

Did you enjoy your weekend?
I don't even remember the weekend.

Validation

High Five Friday - 1/16/09

H

ere are this week's High Fives, in no particular order.

Steven Humour - Proof Mother Nature has a Sense of Humour

Jokes @ jDonuts - Silent Fart

Comedy Plus - The Jogger

Amy Oops - The Manogram

Beads Me - This is not funny

Wanna Smile - Most Random Kitteh Contortionist Ever

Symphony of Love - Do you need a smile today? Watch the whole video!

Live Journey - Unique Houses

Finally, this is not a blog, but you should take the Handwriting Analysis Test just to be able to view the video. Evan & I both took it, and they were different for each of us. :-)

She's supposed to take ME to the hospital!

G

uess where I was at 11 pm last night?

At the ER with Mommy Dearest. She was in a lot of pain.

So I woke Evan up and we went to the ER.

Stayed until 1 am.

I had to go to the mart of Wal at 8 am to get her prescription filled.

She didn't sleep at all last night after we got home because the shot they gave her didn't work. Neither did the prescription that I filled this morning.

So then we went to her regular doctor at 2 pm & back to Wal-Mart to get another prescription.

She's still in pain. :-(

I hope she gets better tonight.

So she can remember that I'm the one who's supposed to call in the middle of the night for a ride to the ER! ;-)

I was nice all night and day.

Really.

Until after she took us to Long John Silver's for dinner & I was trying to buckle my seat belt (after buckling hers) and she's all "Do you have it facing the right way?"

I have to jab my seatbelt in multiple times before it finally catches, sometimes.

Sometimes it acts like it caught, then in the middle of driving, it just unbuckles.

Me - OMG I'VE HAD THIS CAR FOR HOW MANY YEARS??? YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW MY OWN CAR???
She - I don't know what you know.

Whatever.

Apparently I can only be...empathetic for so many hours per day and we finally reached my quota @ 5:13 pm, LOL.

Anyway, I think that was enough togetherness for the rest of the month.

Thursday is the day that Evan goes to my brother's house to play Wii after school.

So as soon as it was 3:30, he's like "Can we go see if Uncle is still at work? Are you going to drop me off? Can he pick me up?"

So after dinner, I said "Call your uncle and ask him if you're still coming over today."

Evan - Hi. I'm at Long John Silver's, can you come pick me up?
Me & MD - NO! Tell him we'll be home in 15 minutes and to pick you up at Nana's house.

WTF?

I know he was eager to go play, but Jesus, LOL. "Can you come pick me up at a restaurant instead of my house or Nana's house where you usually pick me up because I'm too impatient to get away from these women who keep telling me to open the door for Nana to actually think about what I'm saying??"

LOL.

He's on the verge of PMS all the time now, I swear.

Before he got all teenagery on me, I'd tell him "I don't know where your attitude is coming from, but go upstairs and get over it. Don't come back downstairs until you do!"

Now he stomps off before I can even ask "What's wrong now?" so I just let him go.

*sigh*

OMG. I haven't watched anything on my DVR. I'm out!

Finally, winter weather!!

N

ow I just have to remember to leave the water dripping so that the pipes won't freeze.



Ok, I entered a blog contest @ Joe Tech's Blog and I won 1000 EC credits from KishahberuanG.com. I don't even remember when I entered it...


I also got a blog award from Abby @ The (Gradually) Shrinking Violet.

That was nice and really unexpected because 1) she's never commented (if you have, forgive me for my forgetfulness) and 2) I don't remember seeing her EC in my drops inbox. Of course, I'm sure I don't return drops on everyone who drops on me, but I really try to after visiting my favorite blogs.


The rules for this award are as follows:
#1 You must link back to the person you received the award from.
#2 You have to nominate 10 bloggers who are deserving of this award!

Um...10 blogs? I don't know about 10 blogs, LOL.

I'll just nominate the ones that always make me laugh or smile or think and generally make my day better after I visit their blog. Most importantly, they update regularly unlike Monique, who has abandoned her readers...kidding, not really, but yeah. I know real life gets in the way for people who actually have lives. :-)

In no particular order:

Cardiogirl
Daddy Papersurfer
She Lives
Amy Oops
Pregnant with Cancer
Hey Shae!
Wanna Smile

That is all!

I am going to change the channel from the Tales from the Darkside marathon on Sci-fi to something that I can actually sleep through. The 80s score is too distracting. I just had a mini dream that I had to use the bathroom and one of the sheets from my bed was in the toilet in which The Boy had shat and not flushed...

Oh yeah, I've been watching new shows too. Daddy's Girls, Chopped, and Ultimate Recipe Showdown. Maybe I'll write about them tomorrow if I have nothing else to blog about. :-)

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