I'm a life blogger!

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And you make it as entertaining as possible. You may be guilty of over-sharing a bit on your blog, but you can't help it. Your life is truly an open book. Or in this case, an open blog!

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

Go here and play with this.

Time Warp


Time Warp is a show where they record things happening in super slow motion so you can see exactly what happens. I had a lot of fun playing with these videos. :-)

Evan told me to say that he showed me the website.

Because he's an Attention Whore.

:-)

Evan came home early.

N

o, not because he missed me.

He missed the computer. He was having PC withdrawals. He WOKE ME UP FROM A NAP because he wanted to watch some game walkthroughs.

Anyway, MD got a new TV. She was going to get it from my brother's place of work, but it was cheaper at Wal-Mart. By $1.

...

Anyway, she and Evan stayed up until 1 am watching Hancock (I haven't seen it yet.)

She came over & wanted to see the Fat Guy doing the splits and Shane Mercado again.

Then she wanted to see what I'd said about her & Evan while he was at her house for the past 3 days.

Me - Did you watch "The View" today?
She - No, why?
Me - They were talking about how paranoid people are. I thought of you. You think everyone is talking about you and I keep telling you that most people have so much shit going on in their lives that they don't think about anyone else for more than 30 seconds, but anyway, you can read it.

So then I said "Oh, you should look at my baby with Hugh Laurie."

Then she wanted to see what a baby with her & Al Green would look like. It didn't work out. No idea why. But I did one with Dennis Haysbert and it worked out ok.



She's all: So my face is going to be on the computer?
Me - Miss Paranoia, no one will know it's you unless I tell them. I'll delete it from my computer and my phone when it's done. OMG.

So that's why you can't see Mommy Dearest.

Because she's paranoid.

And I'm going to let her read this.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Seeeeeeeee, someone can probably do some reverse engineering and take out all of Dennis Haysbert's traits and figure out what you look like, Mommy.

Muuuuuuuuuuhahahahahhaaaaaaaaaa.

Remember to put in your will that when you die I want the silver jewelry just in case a stalker figures out what you look like and where you live from this Routan Baby...

Anyway, they were both talking me to death.

Talking at the same time.

Me - Boy. Get my medicine thingee.
Evan - What thingee? The aspirin?
Me - NOOOOOOOO, the long thingee with the days of the week on it. See? I haven't taken a xanax since you've been gone and now the second you get back I need one. It was so peaceful here.
MD - You got 3 days off, but I had to talk for 3 days. And cook because Prince Evan wanted breakfast
Me - *snort*

Whatever.

I'm glad my baby is back.

So I can make him turn down the heat or whatever and I don't have to get up, LOL.

Dane Cook - Sneeze TVMA

I

watched Dane Cook tonight. Never watched him before. But he's funny. This is my favorite part.



I totally want to do the "Gesundheit" thing, LOL.

Thanksgiving 2008

E

van has been gone since Tuesday after school.

He came yesterday to ask me if he could stay with MD another night.

Me - Why did you even come back to ask me that?
Evan - We tried to call you.
Me - I turned the phones OFF so that people wouldn't interrupt my napping.
Evan - Well, I have to get some pants because I accidentally grabbed yours.
Me - Fine. Take your key so I don't have to get up when you come home.

Today I got a call

Evan - Helleeerrrrr (Madea Greeting)
Me - Hellerrrrr
Evan - Do you miss me?
Me - *insincere*

Yes.

Evan - Do you want me to come home?
Me - If you want to.
Evan - Well, I don't.
Me - Fine.
MD - We were just calling to make sure you weren't missing your baby too much.
Me - Not really.
Them - *laughing*
MD - Well, ok then.
Me - I want him back tomorrow evening so that I can make sure he's not sick and we can do the laundry on Sunday. (He always seems to get sick when he spends the night with my mother. I don't know why.)
MD - Fine! Do you want to say goodbye to your baby?
Me - Bye, Baby.

I know it's probably not the PC thing to say (like I've ever cared about being PC), but I haven't missed him at all, LOL.

I've enjoyed the break!

I've been able to clean up and not have it messed up 5 minutes later.

I haven't had to say anything over and over and over and over and over and over, etc.

I haven't had to cook.

I haven't tripped over any freaking action figures.

I haven't had to listen to stories about kids I don't know.

If I didn't think he'd wait until Saturday night to catch pneumonia, I wouldn't make him come back until Sunday.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I haven't had to put up with ANY of my relatives.

:-)
----------------
Now playing: Chuck Brown - Bustin' Loose via FoxyTunes

I can't believe this $#*@!

A

couple of weeks ago, I tried to make poundcake muffins. I just halved MD's recipe.

They had major sinkholes and tasted like cornbread.

I used "I can't believe it's not butter!" even though the recipe called for butter.

I did it for my health, you know?

Anyway, I've been craving some of my from scratch brownies. I decided to use the rest of the effing sinkhole maker "I can't believe it's not butter!"

Ummm, now I know what cause the poundcake to sink like that.

I haven't yet tasted the brownies. They're normally good even if I take them out too early. I left them in 5 minutes longer today.

*sigh*

I don't even know if I want to waste the time it takes to make the icing if they EFFING SUCK like I am anticipating.

And I only have one egg left. Not enough to make a new batch.

I hate this.

If worse comes to worst, I will fill the sinkholes with Marshmallow Creme (I got it for "The Boy").

*cries*

----------------
Now playing: Kelis - Caught Out There (I Hate You So Much Right Now) via FoxyTunes

**Update** - They taste good. No mallow creme or icing needed. They're just extra crispy. Like a cookie. So I suppose I'm thankful that they don't taste like chocolate cornbread...
----------------
Now playing: Pink - So What via FoxyTunes

I'm a Pilgrim

You Are a Pilgrim

Like the pilgrims, you've felt persecuted for your beliefs from time to time. You have a strong sense of right and wrong. Your morality sometimes makes you feel out of step with the modern world. You may not go as far as moving across the world, but you still identify with the pilgrims. Well, except for the whole stealing land and killing Indians thing.

Are You a Pilgrim or an Indian?

Yeah, I changed it.

I

am normally very anti "getting ready for Christmas" when it's not even December.

But I was tired of my blog design.

Those of you who've been reading from the beginning (which might be all of 3 people) know that I changed my layout ALL THE TIME until someone said it might be off-putting to some readers.



That was back when I cared.


So I've compromised with not changing it every month. But I was really tired of that background.

And it's almost December. Plus if I just get rid of the little "merry Christmas" I can keep this all winter.

So deal.

:-)

When Hugh & I have a baby

H

e will look like this.

Poor long chinned thing...

Butterfly Award

T

heresa from Theresa Sez awarded me with the Butterfly Award.

Yes, I remember that I've gotten a few awards that I never got around to passing on, but I seem to have some sort of writer's block (maybe it should be called "Rambler's Block" in my case?) so I'm doing memes & junk.

I could tell you about the Obama dream I had...

Or how Evan literally talked so much yesterday that I pretended to take a nap for 2 hours just so he'd STFU and give me some peace. It was like he was hopped up on Red Bull or something...

Following are the blogs that I nominate. The criteria I used is that the blog updates regularly and that I read it almost every day. In no particular order:

1. She Lives


2. Cardiogirl


3. Amy Oops


4. Hey Shae!


5. Holy Cuteness


6. Steven Humour


7. The Offended Blogger

Thank you, Theresa. Those that I nominated are welcome. That is all. :-)

----------------
Now playing: Michael McDonald - I Keep Forgetting via FoxyTunes

I'm a performer?

I went to Typealyzer and entered the URL of my main blog. This is what came up:

ESFP - The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

___

I disagree. I've taken that personality test. I am an INTJ. Clearly it just looked at the colors on my blog or something...

Pfeh!

My back is better!

B

ut I still have nothing about which to write. So I'll do a couple of memes.

Give Me Five

5 Sub Sandwich Toppings/Condiments:

I usually get the Chicken Bacon Ranch at Subway. So here's what I get on it.
1. American Cheese
2. Cucumbers
3. Ranch Dressing
4. Onions
5. Tomatoes

Monday's a Bitch

1. If you had to join a pop band, which one would it be? Destiny's Child
2. Go back to the early 00's. Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera? Why? It's always been Christina because SHE CAN ACTUALLY SING.
3. Hanson or Jonas Brothers? Mmmbop.
4. Backstreet Boys or N'Sync? Why? N'Sync. JC Chazez. The BSB always looked greasy & gross to me.
5. What's the most embarrassing CD or song you own? (BE HONEST) "I'm too sexy" by Right Said Fred. LOVE IT. Once, when my brother & I were taking my mother home from the hospital he said "If you put that song in the cassette player, I will throw it out the window!" He's a hater! ;-)

----------------
Now playing: Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy via FoxyTunes

Ultimate Color Test

The Ultimate Color Test

When you are at peace, you are: Giving and unselfish When you are moved to act, you are: Unorthodox and idealistic When you are inspired, you are: Creative and productive When your life is perfectly balanced, you are: Totally in the moment Your life's purpose is: To change the world

The Ultimate Color Test

I'm in pain so this will be quick

M

y back hurts so bad that I'm walking like Jeff Conaway.

Evan went to school all week and told his friends "I'm going to fight my uncle on Thursday." He did not mention (on purpose) that he'd be fighting him on the Wii because he wanted to see their faces. (They all know how big my Bro is, LOL.) Evan won. Then he rode home in Bro's car and told me that it is "cool".

My Greeter at Wal-Mart asked for my address so that she can send me a Christmas card. Awwwwwwwww.

I don't remember. Is today Friday? Damn! Thankfully, I haven't been online that much so I only have 2 High Fives to give out today and then I can get back into bed.

Amy Oops for "Let's do the time warp again". You know I love me some Rocky Horror. ;-)

Rants, Thoughts and Other things for "Cut those things!". Amen & Hallelujah. I don't "date" men with hair or fingernails longer than mine. It's just too "metro" for me.

The new graphic in my right sidebar is for Voices Insisting on PursuitSAFETY. It's a non-profit organization that helps the victims in those high speed police chases that end up hurting innocent bystanders. Go to the website and read how police CHASED A MAN WHO STOLE A FREAKING VACUUM CLEANER. Why are they chasing these morons? Why can't they chase child molesters & murderers?

Pray that my back gets better this weekend, thanks.

That is all!

Sigh

I

don't have anything to say.

I'm trying to decide if I'm really going to quit smoking cold turkey today (no cigs since yesterday) or if I'm going to buy some cigs.

But I don't feel like going out.

And Evan won't be home until after 6, so I won't have to deal with him for very long before he goes to bed.

Isn't it interesting how I can always find a reason why I shouldn't stop smoking today?

It's Thursday. If I quit smoking now that means a whole weekend with no cigarettes and then next week is Thanksgiving. So I should wait until December...

Heh.

My back hurts. I'm out!

Are you a Jackie or a Marilyn

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Bette!

You are a Bette -- "I must be strong"

Bettes are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Stand up for yourself... and me.


• * Be confident, strong, and direct.


• * Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.


• * Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.


• * Give me space to be alone.


• * Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.


• * I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.


• * When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being a Bette

• * being independent and self-reliant


• * being able to take charge and meet challenges head on


• * being courageous, straightforward, and honest


• * getting all the enjoyment I can out of life


• * supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me


• * upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a Bette

• * overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to


• * being restless and impatient with others' incompetence


• * sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it


• * never forgetting injuries or injustices


• * putting too much pressure on myself


• * getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

Bettes as Children Often

• * are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit


• * are sometimes loners


• * seize control so they won't be controlled


• * figure out others' weaknesses


• * attack verbally or physically when provoked


• * take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

Bettes as Parents

• * are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted


• * are sometimes overprotective


• * can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Stolen Meme

I

stole this from Why Are You Stalking Me? who stole it from someone else. :-)

1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing? No

2. Favorite late night snack? Depends on the day. Last night I had sardines. Now I have the trots...

3. Do you own a gun? HA! So Evan can shoot me with it when the teenage hormones take over? NOOOOOOOOOOO.

4. What’s your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shop? Fuck Starbucks. I only drink the Sonic Mocha Java Chiller.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Only if I'm asking for narcotics. I always think he's going to tell me "No." But then he always gives me way more than I had ever imagined getting, LOL.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I like them a little burned.

7. Favorite Christmas song? That one with Nat King Cole. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." I think it's called "The Christmas Song".

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Whatever. I don't need caffeine so...whatever I didn't finish last night, LOL.

9. Can you do push-ups? HA!

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? I have a silver ring with a ginormous rose zircon. I love it, even though it weighs 2 lbs.

11. Favorite hobby? Reading

12. Do you have A.D.D.? No.

13. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? OCD.

14. The last disease you contracted? Multiple Sclerosis. How many diseases does the average person contract in their lifetime? WTF?

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. Crazy whores getting herpes, TRL, my hands are cold.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Peach Raspberry Crystal Light, Tropicana Orangeade, Sprite Zero

17. Current worry right now? Worried? No.

18. Current hate right now? Wow. Nothing comes to mind...

19. Favorite place to be? Bed.

20. How did you ring in the New Year? I have no idea. I was either sleeping or watching TV. Or on the computer.

21. Like to travel? No.

22. Name three people who will complete Sunday Stealing this week: No.

23. Do you own slippers? YES! I always hated Uggs, but at Wal-Mart they had these slippers and I need to wear slippers in the winter when I'm at the computer. My feet and legs get so cold if I don't wear anything other than socks. So I gave in and bought these. LOVE THEM. My feet and legs stay warm. MD came over the other day & I was wearing a night gown & my slippers. She laughed. SCREW HER! I know I look sexay in my slippers, LOL.

24. What color shirt are you wearing? Orange.

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No. T-shirt sheets only. Unless MD gives me some old high thread count sheets. (Older ones are better, IMO. I have some sheets that are older than me! They are so soft and comforting.)

26. Can you whistle? Yes.

27. Favorite singer/band? *sigh* I like lots of different stuff. I don't have a favorite now.

28. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor? No. Why would I want to? Ew.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't sing in the shower. First of all, I call it a "shath" because I'm sitting on my shower seat in the bathtub. I just do my business and get out. I've never been one of those chicks who takes long bubble baths.

30. Favorite girl’s names? Connor, Elizabeth

31. Favorite boy’s name? Evan...HA! Can't think of another boy's name, LOL.

32. What’s in your pocket right now? I don't have pockets.

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Evan. Last night my back was hurting (it still is) and I wondered if he could pick me up like my cousin can. Back to back, arms entwined, and then he bends over, you know? I didn't think he could because he's still a few inches shorter than me. He scared me to death when he first got me off the ground, LOL. I screamed. Then after we stopped laughing, we tried it again and HE FLIPPED ME OVER! OMG. Never again, LOL. He pack a lot of wallop for a tiny dude, LOL.

34. Like your job? Sometimes.

36. Do you love where you live? No. But I'm too lazy to move.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2

38. Who is your loudest friend? Tammy. I can hear her all the way across a Super Wal-mart.

39. Do you drive the speed limit or speed? I always use cruise control so I won't speed.

40. Does someone have a crush on you? How would I know?

41. What is your favorite book? I don't have one. I like series. Alex Cross mysteries, The Dark Tower Series, Harry Potter, Alphabet Mysteries, Odd Thomas books...

42. What is your favorite candy? Green Apple SweetTart Squeeze Pops

43. Favorite Sports Team? Alabama Crimson Tide

44. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Watching TV

45. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today? What time is it?

No sleep & new TV show

I

don't know what happened to me this weekend. But last night I didn't get to sleep. I didn't sleep until 10 am this morning.

So I ended up watching "Why I Ran" on A&E. The show is so old, apparently, that they don't even have a page for it. You can search their site to see when it comes on next, but there are no clips or anything of the show.

Anyway, the show is about the people who get into those high speed chases with the police. They tell why they ran, what was going through their minds at the time, and they see video of their chase.

People are so stupid.

I already knew this, but this show just...oh my lord.

One woman had 3 of her 5 children in the car. She ran because she knew she had some unpaid speeding tickets and figured that they had turned into warrants. She didn't want her kids to see her getting arrested. So she took them on an 80 mph chase with the kids telling her not to pull over and then ended up stopping and getting 2 years in jail away from the precious babies 'she would never put in danger'.

For some traffic violations.

Another show had a grandfather who knew he had some warrants, so when he was pulled over he gave his brother's name and SSN. Then he decided to run. Because he didn't want to go back to jail...

A different episode showed a man, 22 years old now, who had been a great student. He graduated HS at 16 and went to college for 2 years. He wanted to be a role model for his younger brother because their father had left. One day he steals a car & then picks up his brother for a joy ride. He was drunk. He totaled 3 cars. Went to jail for 9 months.

Um, this is just my opinion, but not wanting to go to jail does not mean you should run from the police. They will find you because, IMO, criminals are stoopid. So after they find you, you have all kinds of additional charges on top of whatever they had been going to give to you when they first turned on the siren.

You total some cars. You might kill someone. I'm sure you don't have insurance.

*sigh*

Now I have even more reason not to leave the house because I never know when some idjit is going to decide to run from "da po-po" and put my life in danger.

Psych.

It's not going to change the way I live my life, but lordamercy. Every time I think I know how retarded people can be, I see another reality show that shows me "No, people are more retarded than you ever imagined."



----------------
Now playing: A Flock of Seagulls - I Ran via FoxyTunes

In case you were wondering

W

hat happened when Evan went to see my Bro after school yesterday, I have no idea.

I didn't ask.

But I do know that he was there for 2 hours and they played with the Wii and that he'll be going every Thursday after school.

I'm beginning to wonder if Bro is just using my child for the surrogate son he never had...

Whatever.

Now I know when I can get laid! :-)

High Five Friday - 11/14/08

F

ollowing are this week's High Fives in no particular order.

Amy Oops for "A Survey".

Comedy Plus for "Some things you just can't explain" and "Seen in a doctor's office".

Jokes at jDonuts for "Invisible Sandwich". This isn't really related, but I am wondering WHY are there so many pictures of cats with incorrect English saying stuff like "I can haz cookie?" I don't get it...

Are you Kidding Me? for "More Fun Pictures of the Day".

Sonnie's Porch for "Do you believe in Demon Possession?" I've always been fascinated with the occult. It's probably why I love horror movies so much...

loud noises, big plans for "The Oceans will be the Death of Us!"

The Mama Spot for "Sticks and Stones Will Break My Bones...and Words Will Make Me Whoop that Ass"

My Brown Baby for "Neighbors Gone Wild". This is for those readers of mine who don't believe that bigotry exists, or don't recognize that it's something minorities (women, gays, blacks, hispanics, asians, etc) deal with every day and it shapes our view of the world. Like it or not.

Steven Humour for "This woman may be a man."

Coolio is back!

I

just want to know when the album comes out, because I've been thinking about this song every since I saw him on Craig Ferguson.

I love this commercial!

P

erfect way for Ozzy to make some money spoofing himself, LOL.

I'm 64% Open Minded...

You Are 64% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded. Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line. You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

So I told my mother

T

o ask her son to talk to my son about his school BS.

She came over today to pick up the newspaper covers of Barack Obama and she said:

MD - You know that thing we were talking about?
Me - No.
MD - With your brother.
Me - Oh, yeah?
MD - Thursday after school.
Me - Ok

So all night Evan's been asking me what happens after school on Thursday.

I just tell him he'll have to wait until Thursday to find out.

Did I tell you I told my BFF about him not doing his homework & stuff? (Meanwhile, her 15 year old will graduate HS this semester and start full time college next semester. Fortunately, the other 2, also in college, are wasting her money by getting C's so I don't feel so bad, LOL.) I had her on speaker phone telling her about Evan.

BFF - Girl, you need to beat him.
Me - He runs away and I can't chase him.
BFF - Well then I will bring some paralytics and then you can beat him. (She's a nurse)
Me - Cool.

He doesn't like everyone knowing that he's not doing well in school. But I'm tired of enabling him. When people ask how he's doing, I no longer say "Fine." I say "He'd be great if he'd do his freaking homework."

They all give him the same lecture.

You'd think he'd get tired of hearing it.

Now Big Ass 6'2" 275 lb Uncle will be talking to him with his mega bass voice.

I hope he gets through to the child...

*sigh*

He's started doing it at home too.

I tell him to wash the dishes and they're still there the next day.

He's getting up at 5 am this morning to take out the trash and clean the toilet (which I told him to do all day yesterday). I decided to stop reminding him. I'll just get him up earlier every time he "forgets" to do something I've told him to do.

Little sucker.

I hope he enjoys hearing that alarm so early, LOL.

OMG. I should totally change the time on his clock so he doesn't even realize that it's 5 am instead of 6 am.

Then he'll be up.

Just UP.

For an hour.

HA!

I'm out.

**Update** I totally did it. Switched his clock forward an hour. He cleaned the toilet (I left the Mr. Clean wipes on top) and took a shower and everything until he heard what was coming up next on TNT.

Evan - I knew there was something wrong when they said "Coming up next is Angel and then Charmed. Charmed comes on when I have to get out of here." Somebody changed my clock.
Me - Somebody needs to do what I tell him to do when I tell him to do it.
Evan - You're so evil.
Me - Sucks for you!

HA!

Guess what Evan told me yesterday

H

e was telling me that they were online doing some research about John Hook (?) on Google.

Me - They let you use GOOGLE at school?
Evan - Yeah.
Me - Well, I hope it's on safe search, at least.
Evan - When I was in elementary school one of my friends was searching for "Riddick's Glasses" and when it came up it was not Riddick's Glasses. He said "I'm going to be expelled."
Me - What did you see?
Evan - I didn't see anything. But his computer froze up with whatever it was on the screen and he thought he was going to be in trouble.
Me - THEY LET YOU USE GOOGLE IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL? Even if he had seen porn, it wouldn't have been his fault. Kids should not be ON GOOGLE unsupervised and the school should have had a safe search or some software to block bad images from popping up. Speaking of Google, I hope you don't happen upon that porn I did back in the 90s. "Big Black Bitches". I got $300. But it would be embarassing for you to have your naked mama pop up on the screen and your friends see me like that.
Evan - I'm going to bed.

I love embarrassing The Boy. :-)